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Career Resources
Are you sure she ghosted you? You didn't elaborate in the story on this, I just want to be sure that you know for sure she did and that something didn't happen to her.
She still uses my Netflix account so I can see that she watched Season 4 of the Office for the 5th time last week.
Change that password.
And please get some help. I had a friend kill himself in a somewhat similar position albeit he was recently fired as well. Still miss him to this day.
Try to keep a positive attitude. You've moved up big-time in so many ways, whether you see that or not.
You're using some pretty serious language - stepping in front of a train and drowning yourself. If this is more than hyperbole, please, find a professional to talk to.
You're obviously smart. Smart enough to know that countless people have gone through what you're going through, and no matter how awful you feel right now, the awful feelings will go away one day. This too shall pass. You may not be happy now, but you certainly will be again in the future. So the question to ask yourself is: what would that happy future-you want you to do right now? What favors can you do today for that guy?
I guarantee you won't regret putting your mental health first. The rest, I can't answer for you. You worked really hard to get here. Maybe it's best to keep grinding so when you get to the other side of this you've still got a kick-ass finance job. Or maybe your disinterest in the work isn't just because of your emotional state, and that's ok too. There are a lot of rewarding finance jobs that don't demand 75+ hours/week. Just try not to let a feeling that's temporary totally cloud your judgment about what's best for your long-term future. It'll get better.
Good luck dude
I'm not even sure they're going to want to keep me. They had me start at the same time as the rest of their first year analysts and they gave me a deal where I work 90 days and they have a meeting and decide if they let me stay or not. I am not sure if this arrangement is typical for experienced hires but I didn't have the usual summer analyst banking internship that everyone else did.
I have no backup plan for if (when) they cut me and I haven't been networking at all this summer. Don't know what to do.
You should definitely start networking, regardless of anything else.
If the meeting isn't until September then you've still got over a month to turn the ship around. These companies don't just hand out opportunities like this, so someone obviously saw something in you. As long as you're not pissing people off, they probably want to keep you to validate their decision. Even showing some improvement is probably enough to convince them you're worth it. You've made it this far - you can give it 100% for another month. Even if you decide not to stick with it, much better to find a new job while you still have one.
First, I would echo HighlyClevered's commentary.
At this stage of your life, you should separate your personal and professional life and try to not let one bleed onto another. If you had decided to stay at your insurance job and you found out your girlfriend was cheating on you or something, would that heartbreak have had the same effect? Worse since you would have chosen to stay for her?
Taking professional risk is just that - risk. You give it your best and your full focus, and sometimes it works out wonderfully, sometimes it doesn't. At least you are swinging for the fences and honestly, your professional story is inspiring.
All that being said, none of this is worth it if you are psychologically unwell. Figure that out first, but stay positive about your career options, you have made a big leap but perhaps your feet haven't touched the ground yet.
Thank you.
I get what you are going through, being abandoned by someone you deeply care about is absolutely devastating. I have been through a similar event a long time a go. To make it worse, my mental makeup is built in a way that i would ruminate for years and years about my past failures or pain. It not going to get any better, the only way you can get over it to use the pain of being ghosted and set yourself up for the future so will never be in the same position ever again. Human are fickle; we all know that. The current you was not enough for her to commit and believe in. Don't let it kill you, become someone you'd never dream of being knowing if she ever look you up in the future, she will regret her decision to not believe in you.
Cheers my friend
chill the f out. Economy is doing fine and there are jobs out there. Fire up linked in and Start connecting with recruiters...tell them your plan and see what they have open. They actually want to connect with potential candidates because thats how they get paid, by sourcing talent. THIS IS ONE SHITTY JOB IN YOUR LONG FUTURE AHEAD. put things into perspective. your life can be 360 degrees different with a new gig and better living situation, your life isnt over. If you need to talk to someone, please pm me about anything. most importantly, seek help if you need it, there is no shame to it.
Please go speak with someone.
I understand you probably loved this chick but let me put it in another view for you. Sure you may have thought she was perfect and wanted to marry her but look at how flawed she is, it's laughable. You really want THAT mothering your children? That is the end goal after all is it not? That chick sounds like she has her own mental issues to even do that to someone, let it go man, that is no where near a wife.
Grind out those hours at the office, get that MBA and transition to a cushy job at a F500 with less hours.
This. Congrats OP, you achieved a great deal of the American Dream already and have big things ahead.
You seem like you're in a tough spot, so I'll share three anecdotes that have helped me keep things in perspective over the years when I wasn't enthralled with my career at that exact moment.
1) The long-term unemployment rate in this country is around 5.0%. Do you think you have the skills, composure, and experience to stay in the 95% bucket for most of your life? Sure you do. There may be temporary phases where you're underpaid and underutilized, but in the long arch of a 30+ year career, you will find a happy balance of what you're seeking, and keep food on the table.
2) My first job was as a commercial banking analyst, and I hated it. My career was all of 18 months old at the time, and it's human nature to assume whatever situation you find yourself in TODAY will persist FOREVER. I was in one of my down moods when I came across a former high school alum who was being recognized as an industry legend upon retirement in his chosen field. For whatever reason, the press release included his complete resume dating back 40 years. At the bottom of a long list of prestigious, international, challenging job descriptions, was his first job, simply titled "Commercial Banking Analyst 1977 - 1978). By the end of his expansive, illustrious career, his first job was so inconsequential to his overall life experience, that he couldn't even be bothered to list the employer name.
3) To ensure my reaction merits my situation, I use a "7 days, 7 months, 7 years" rule of thumb. As in, whatever seems like the end of the world today, will this bother me in a week, a year, or a decade? 99% of your day-to-day career issues (tough boss, tight deadline, error in a model) fit into the first bucket. Tough breakups and short-term career disruptions go in the second bucket. Life-changing events, such as the death of an immediate family member or debilitating injury, go in the third. Each warrants their own appropriate grieving period and plan of action for recovery, but none of them warrant thinking of self-harm.
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