Keeping up with the Joneses in Finance?

One of the reasons why I want to pursue a high finance job is so that I can save a good amount (10M+) and hopefully retire early.
However, I read that “keeping up with the joneses” is a big deal in IB/PE etc. Is it really true that your career as a banker can be impacted if you don’t have the “right” answer to questions like “where are you vacationing?” I don’t mind spending money for an education for my kids, donating, etc but it seems wasteful to buy a new car every year just to compare.
Can anyone offer any insights into this?

 

You shouldn't give a fuck. That mentality will change once the old folks get out of there

 

You shouldn't give a fuck. That mentality will change once the old folks get out of there

 

I mean these things already seem to exist among college finance circles. Was catching up with some guys and all everyone was talking about was their spring break trips to wherever and plans for future trips and stuff.

I don’t think it’s so much about having the right answer, but if you can’t participate in the convo, I can imagine how people won’t remember you.

 

Don’t want to steer the convo away from the topic, but can opting out of keeping up with the Joneses hurt your career? I’ve read that part of being able to associate in a circle of influence needed to be a successful senior banker requires you to “play the part.” I just don’t want to fall into that trap of always wanting bigger and better things just to conform to the expectations of my colleagues and friends.

 
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Nobody cares how you live your life. People are already way too busy at work, plus they have a family, health etc to think about. Only 24 hours in a day, zero room to be figuring out whether some Director isn’t MD material because isn’t summering in whatever place.

Most status symbols are practical jokes on the upwardly mobile. Buy nice things to feel like you’re part of the club and then you find out that you’re still not in the club, and those in the club don’t have those things. Wear the right Rolex through 5 promotions and then you’re in Jamie Dimon’s office and he’s got an Apple watch, that sort of thing.

 

No one cares.

The area where I’ve noticed it is less around vacationing in the “right” place and more around getting invited to do things. It isn’t that people expect you to do it, but two things happen:

1) much easier to network if you are at the events 2) some of the stuff is fun

Examples are: fancy meals, fancy wine events ($1-2k for the event), trips with friends (had one time where it was Friday afternoon and by 7 pm we were on a flight to Vegas).

Won’t hurt your career not to do these things, sometimes you just end up tagging along because you actually start enjoying some of this stuff.

 

I would prioritize network based spending over other frivolous spending. You can pass on the 60k+ car or 10k+ watch but maybe it make sense to go to the ski resort where you know principals at a fund are going to be or the spontaneous bottle service night with some clients / coworkers

I am not sure it will make or break a career by passing on a lot these things but I find it much easier to reach out to ppl I am doing stuff away from work with. Makes it a more natural friendship rather than a pure work relationship

 

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