Recently joined strategy role for F500 company but the role is much slower/boring than expected (not learning too much..).
IB associate role opened up at one of my classmate’s MM IB group in the same sector but was wondering if the move to IB is reasonable considering I am a father of 6 month baby son.
Would it be better to stick around and jump to another F500 instead? Appreciate your input on this.
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This is a very personal question that frankly only you and your family can collectively decide. And what I really mean is, how good are you compartmentalizing (i.e., be mentally present when its time to spend time with family), what kind of father do you want to be, do you have time to grow into that kind of a paternal figure or does it need to be now, are you viewing banking as a stepping stone or a career, where do you want to be long-term location wise, etc.?
There is simply not enough time in the day, or enough mental bandwidth, to give your 100% to this kind of job, significant other, kids, friends, and other family members. There is no question that if you're working in IB/PE at any "reputable" firm (don't mean specifically BB or MF, just mean non-nichey boutiques), regardless of whether you're an Analyst up to Partner, you will in some way shape or form be an absentee father relative to someone working a 9-5 (also doesn't matter if you're in IB or PE). That doesn't necessarily implying you're a bad father or your son will grow up screwed up, it simply means you have to choose whether providing financial stability and opportunities is more important, is quality time important, is there a balance that fits with your family's needs? And how does that change as your kid grows older.
I've seen 1st Associates that had a baby, ended up leaving after 2-3 years when the kid really starts developing recognition, thoughts, etc. I've seen VPs with a couple of kids that don't have plans to quit because they need/want the money. I've also seen senior people that are incredibly efficient, still manage to be a father that spends time with his/her kids (at least from an outsider's perspective), but I'm guessing not as much time for their significant others or themselves. I've also seen more senior folks whose kids are in college already, so working/traveling a lot now isn't as big of a deal. Honestly at every single level, I've encountered people that were fine with their work situations, and people that also weren't fine (even if they gave off the impression they were fine).
There are just far too many personal variables that you'll ultimately have to make the decision based on your personal circumstances. But I would just never categorically assume that it eventually gets better as you move up - it doesn't, it's just a different forms of mental and physical demand that normal 9-5 jobs won't have.
Thank you for your detailed response. I personally believe that I am quite efficient and could manage my time effectively but at the same time, I really value spending time with my wife/son.
Only downside is that, I do not enjoy going to work currently (work is surprisingly slow...) and feel that I am wasting my time here at the moment. Lot of things to consider at the moment.
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