There's gotta be a faster way to wipe my ass - seeking capital for AI-driven ass cleaning machine
Sup guys. Starting a new venture. Looking for a better, more streamlined way to wipe my asshole.
For the next few months, I will be researching ways one can wipe his asshole quickly on the toilet. Look, I'm sick of sitting on the toilet, letting loose some huge moist lincoln log, and then wiping my ass for like 15 minutes, anxiously ripping apart the toilet paper, square by square, folding that shit up, all the while worrying about the trade i left on my computer screen. In the 21st century, WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT SHIT?! (pun intended).
I'm not trolling here. Just like how the guy who invented anal sex toys wasn't trolling, I ain't trolling when I say I want to find a better and faster way to wipe our assholes.
Whether I use water pumps, liquid soap, or some kind of automated "arm" to wipe our assholes, I will try to find the best way to do it.
If I manage to find a faster, cleaner way, I will market my new product under the slogan, "...sh*t was fast!"
In a nutshell, advanced artificially intelligent sensors will have a database of the most common infrared images of people's asses, seen from the toilet up (don't laugh. i'm serious). This is what I call, "defecation recognition." Enhanced imaging systems using discrete algorithms will trigger a state within the computer to either "arm" or "disarm" the system prepping it ready to clean, depending on user state. The computer will use a 16x16 grid to map the person's ass cheeks, to sustain a precise, accurate shot at the person's asshole for maximum cleaning.
Lots of potential for growth. Should be a lot of eager early adopters for this one. If successful, we're looking at premoney exit valuations of $100MM+ at least. Everyone would want this, especially trading firms where every second counts.
Fire up MetaTrader on your iPad while taking a shit, sell $500,000 in Euros all the while getting your ass cleaned automatically so you only have to shit and then pull up your pants and ZOOM you're off? NO PROBLEM!
Precision Defecation Cleaning. No longer science fiction. "...shit was fast!" Two easy payments of $99.99
Classic
just install a mini power hose next to the toilets.
next.
Stupid idea, that's like reinventing the wheel. Then what do we need underwear for? Riddle me that, batman.
underwear is there to protect your nuts and ass, son. jeans and other pants can be quite rough and are uncomfortable. you may keep your underwear. my system will only make your underwear cleaner.
Why are you so fascinated with assholes?
they're some really fascinating machines. defecation is quite a beautiful natural process. it is in this process which we must harness its true potentials by innovating and disrupting current restroom technologies.
the entrepreneur who can successfully streamline the defecation process will make it big. give me an IPO that makes my asshole cleaner and more plump and healthy and i'll put my best trading strategies on it tomorrow.
remove toilet paper from bathrooms -> have automated ass cleaning machine that cleans an ass for five bucks -> profit
This might take a little longer but 'makes you feel real good'.
I have very little capital to contribute but you have my full moral support as long as you have an option to time delay the cleaning if you're reading something interesting.
thank you sir. it has always been my dream that all humans everywhere should have access to quality, healthy, efficient, and environmentally friendly ways of cleaning their assholes.
Set up a dingleberry futures exchange (DFE/TRDZ). Make dollars off skidmark efficiency optimization (SEO).
Hi there, I'm trying to get a system together as well for this aspect of hygiene. I'm a medical researcher at a cancer research centre, but i'd like to commercialise some technology in the area of palliative, and old persons care. At the moment, nurses have to clean up after an old person defecates. However nurses are short in supply, are expensive, and unable to cope with the demand. If 20% of the population is senile, and each one needs 1 to 1 nursing care, then thats 20% + 20% = 40% of the total population. There is a big opportunity for the use of technology in daily needs, like shower, food, toilet etc. I'm not sure that the seconds u save when you are trading are that important, if you are able to help your parents and grandparents live independently without nursing, you will automatically retrieve back decades from your life, and millions from nursing and home care on an individual basis. Please get in contact if you are serious about your post.
2girls1cup.wmv
LOL
lol this guy is amazing..
This is amazing post and you are not aware about the side effect of cleaning you hole with high pressure water. A time will arrive when you will have to face lot of problem while cleaning you hole.
i am filing a provisional patent application on this machine. will seek angel funding in 6 months after prototype.
Can you add a shaving, bleaching, rinsing, and moisturizing feature to it?
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