Things the Post-MBA Associate says
Let's get this ball rolling
"do you think factset support would be able to put these comps together for me"
"they did not teach us this in business school"
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you stole these directly from Instagram bro
i dont have an instagram, feel free to elaborate which ones i stole
5/6 were on a meme literally posted by litquidity today
damn you're actually a weirdo. Why did you claim to not have an Insta yet you literally have a discussion post on Litquidity...?
Wow - he stole these? You'd think they would actually be worth stealing then
OP: 1 out of 5 stars
Acceptable....because a post-MBA associate would do something like that..
Typical post-MBA Associate move
A) You stole these
B) "Hey sally, want to put that strap-on on and ram me in the ass with it after work?"
“We need to slow down and think about the bigger picture" "What’s this on your screen?" (pointing at the quick access toolbar) "My data tables won’t work can you fix this" "It will be a good learning opportunity" "Let’s try my way first” “We need to cover all our bases on this one ok? Let’s make sure we’re backed up again”
"Back when I was in business school..."
"Actually, the theoretically proper way to do this is... [some over complicated thing that is not done by your bank]."
"What's the Net Present Value of these projects?"
"We should do an APV analysis. Let's start with the value of the interest shield on taxes."
"There are too many bullet points on this slide, Professor said 7 maximum."
[Makes self-deprecating jokes while treating the Analyst like a God] OR [Treats the Analyst like garbage despite adding no value and taking all the credit]
Last two points are spot on.
Not surprising given that it's harder to get an analyst job at a given bank than an associate role. So the associates have a huge chip on their shoulder because those young analyst rock stars will exit to megafund PE or hedge fund.
I have never met more miserable people than Associates at megafund PE's - maybe Auditors during busy season but all year 'round. Rock on...?
I'm not in banking, but this thread tells me there are other chips on other shoulders. This thread is a giant wailing wall of butt hurt.
Circulate the ..."dial-up"...?
MBA Associate spotted, everyone. Probably just barely scraped mid-bucket merely because his group is too lazy to find a lateral replacement.
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