What the f*ck have I done with my life??

Here I am, two months shy of my 40th birthday, and my husband and I are buying a condo in downtown Austin which feels like a total admission of failure. How can I convince him to hang onto a shred of ambition so we can stay in New York, or even Paris, or convince him to switch professions so I don't have to keep going to these god damn cocktail hours in places better suited to scummy college artists?

If it were up to me, I would be surprise-pregnant with my fifth child now, still collecting child support for my existing four. But he keeps me in such nice jewelry that even if I were serious about leaving him, I would consider a protracted affair first.

It always just shits me half to death when I see places like Dallas, Austin and Charlotte touted on this site as great places to live and work. Yes, maybe if you can't afford Manhattan real estate, but just think of it as a tax for having the best of everything.

What woman wants to be surrounded by huge belt buckles, ugly SUVs and leathery skin as she enters middle age? I'm losing my mind and I no longer trust myself not to become one of them. It's like they say, if you're always hanging out at a barber shop, soon enough you'll get a haircut.

I'm sure there are other women that lurk on this site because their boyfriend or husband leaves it open on his computer. In the course of regular snooping you probably thought it best to create your own separate account. So ladies, feel free to chime in on this and tell me whether or not this lifestyle ACTUALLY suits you or if you're just in it for the money. Because there are other ways to have money.

I saw a post (sorry, it won't let me link since I'm new user) from a young woman whose boyfriend was about to begin a career in finance and she was asking whether she ought to stick it out.

GOOD LORD! NO! RUN FOR THE HILLS, GIRL! If your man can hack New York for a couple decades then maybe you'll get lucky and inherit everything when he dies early, but if not, be prepared to live a life as arm candy in a third-tier New South burgh where your only outlet will be the shooting range.

Sincerely,

A soon-to-be-divorced-or-widowed woman born on the Upper East Side but doomed to become a hairsprayed Stepford wife in Hickville

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Comments (78)

Best Response
Dec 23, 2016

Don't worry sweetie, they have collagen and botox in Austin, too. But how will you pay for it when your husband divorces you after taking LSD during a mid-life crisis and realizing it's not worth it to be married to a one-dimensional gold digger?

    • 51
Dec 24, 2016

I too have seen Mad Men

    • 3
Dec 23, 2016

Shut your whore mouth bitch.

    • 20
    • 6
Jan 12, 2017

relationshipgoals

    • 1
Dec 23, 2016

Tbh living really well in the south and going to the shooting range sounds pretty dope.

    • 8
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Jan 12, 2017
larry david:

Tbh living really well in the south and going to the shooting range sounds pretty dope.

It really is. If anyone heads to florida I have a few suppressors, ak's, ar's, 1911's, and about 15,000 rounds of ammo.

If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!

    • 1
Dec 23, 2016

Downtown Austin sounds pretty sweet to me. What's the problem again?

What is his profession? There are not a lot of finance jobs in Austin.

I'd probably give this a 7/10. I'll read something else you post.

    • 16
Dec 23, 2016

Entertained. +1

Dec 23, 2016

if money is all you want, just leave him and take half. he can take the other half, move to Austin and buy himself some arm candy.

    • 1
Dec 23, 2016

Have you thought about getting a job? I know that sounds outrageous, but desperate times call for desperate measures

    • 14
Jan 12, 2017

+1 from me

Dec 24, 2016

You're my new least favorite person on this site after SaraHampar.

Please post some more nonsensical bs.

    • 1
Dec 24, 2016

This is clearly a poorly written fiction.

Dec 28, 2016

As someone who works in downtown Austin: it's alright. If you have a little bit of wealth, you can easily act like a princess; but, NYC is my goal too.

Jan 12, 2017

I'm confused. is this an anti-South rant, an anti-finance rant, a premenopausal rant, or something else?

also, you say "what kinda woman would want..." to which I reply, what kind of man would want you? unless you are, in fact, jennifer aniston from 1998 and can suck a golfball through a garden hose, you're lucky you have someone patient enough to put up with your moochy bullshit.

    • 3
Jan 12, 2017

Dumb

    • 12
Jan 12, 2017

This.

Jan 12, 2017

dm me ;)

    • 8
Jan 12, 2017

5/10

Jan 12, 2017

It's nice to see one insufferable liberal city (NYC) condescend to another insufferable liberal city (Austin). It's like watching lesbian, transgendered sisters fight over the dog's costume.

Jan 12, 2017

what's your favorite conservative city?

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    • 2
Jan 12, 2017

Provo, UT

Jan 12, 2017

Blacksburg, VA

Jan 12, 2017
AndyLouis:

what's your favorite conservative city?

Trick question, they all suck.

    • 4
    • 7
Jan 12, 2017

Coronado CA

Jan 12, 2017

Fuck off, Andy. I lost all respect for you last year when you started censoring posts that you didn't agree with. Can you believe it? On WSO the moderator was deleting content that he disagreed with. It was the most egregious display of cowardice I've ever witnessed on an open discussion forum.

Dec 23, 2016

Lmao this post and every response is gold

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Jan 12, 2017

Why don't you do something with your life and not bitch about somebody you have chosen to be with. You have just proven you are nothing more than arm candy by those comments, hopefully behind that computer screen is actually something worth looking at.

    • 3
Jan 12, 2017

This was setting up to be a good troll but got a little too obvious.

Jan 12, 2017

Austin is a rad town.

    • 1
Jan 12, 2017

I think you should try and convince him to the hidden gem that is Whiteclay Nebraska.

    • 3
Jan 13, 2017

Or Duluth, Minnesota.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

Jan 12, 2017

Duluth has too much to offer. Ballclub or Warroad would be much better choices.

Jan 12, 2017

Why on earth do moderators keep on front paging the obvious troll shit? To entertain the idiots?

    • 2
Jan 12, 2017

THIS.

Even if this somehow isn't a troll, how hungry is WSO for clicks that this shit is making the front page? Same with that sophomore possibly backing out of an ideal internship because they didnt give him a relo bonus. Those are examples in just the past 2 days.

I know I'm an old school WSO guy (even back to ibanking oasis) and I've complained about content before, but some stupid shit is bound to be posted. However, admins putting it on the front page is ridiculous.

Now get off me lawn......

twitter: @CorpFin_Guy

    • 5
Jan 12, 2017

agreed, I'm getting less and less interested with the content here. if it's not a political argument, it's the same questions about schools or an argument about how finance is dead/dying

    • 2
Jan 12, 2017

i could get down on the affair, hit me up...

Jan 12, 2017
  1. Do you work?
  2. Are you financially independent?

Austin isn't exactly full of hicks.

Jan 12, 2017

All I could think of while reading this was that maybe @Fear The Bulge got bored and decided to pretend to be a woman and write a post.

    • 5
Jan 13, 2017

Texas, guns and the south in general. All good.

Jan 13, 2017

Have you thought of a baby? Babies fix everything.

To spice things up you may consider conceiving the child from an undocumented immigrant. You might even be able to find one with a six pack so you could have sex sober.

I hope this helps.

    • 2
Jan 13, 2017

Obvious troll is obvious

    • 1
Jan 13, 2017

Good old WSO. VTech arguing about politics, old heads arguing about where all the old content went, new heads wondering if an obvious troll is serious, and a thread going off topic. Thanks for all the laughs.

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee

WSO is not your personal search function.

    • 2
Jan 13, 2017

What is the over/under on how many benzos + glasses of red wine OP takes a day? I'm saying 3 and taking the over.

    • 1
Jan 14, 2017

The why don't you get a job and contribute you gold diggging skank?

    • 1
Jan 15, 2017

This is either fictional, or this person has no actual concept of what a marriage is. If this were real life, you two would have either met at commons ground or filed for divorce.

Surely hope that this is fictional.

Jan 15, 2017

Repeat everything @bfin just said lol. Looks like something from '10 in here right now lol.

Jan 15, 2017

I haven't been on this site in so long.

The wonders it's done for my anxiety.

Jan 15, 2017

Maybe you can learn something in Texas. Girl sit down.

Jan 16, 2017

Entire thread is pure gold

Jan 16, 2017

Girl, sorry woman, you gotta have an affair and that too with our one and only renowned FeartheBulge.

@FeartheBulge tame this bitch (and post it how you did it)...
Hail FTB

Jan 16, 2017

Sounds like your husband is a lot smarter than you. He just convinced you to move to a college town with plenty of young hot girls with questionable morals

    • 1
Jan 16, 2017

lol. Can't believe this is still on the front page.
In all seriousness--regarding someone further up who posted about deleting posts--this isn't an open forum, it technically belongs to WSO, so they decide what does and doesn't go on it.

    • 1
Jan 16, 2017

You are everything I don't want in my future wife.

Jan 16, 2017

such a nasty woman

Jan 17, 2017

Do less, you try hard.