Why are people so stingy with connections?
When asking for contacts to help with job searches, etc. Why are some so stingy with their connections? It's a JOB, not "free money". I don't understand it, what do they have to lose? Networking is such a chore today, it's almost like begging (begging for an internship, gimme a break). The way the industry is today you'd think internships and jobs were the same as free cash.
Doesn't it seem silly to you? And it gets worse the more powerful the connection is. When someone agrees to introduce you to some big asshole, it's like they're giving you the cure for cancer. But why? It doesn't cost THEM any money, if I screw up, I'm the one who pays, not them.
Sorry but I had to vent. It's getting to me. But I'm also bewildered.
Your post really doesn't make much sense. There are many things in what you wrote that don't make sense (internships like free money? jobs are hard to get, firms can be picky), but what really stands out is that you think that when you mess up a conversation with a connection's connection that it is on you, that isn't true, your friend/connection/etc will take a reputation hit as well.
If I recommended a bunch of crappy people to the head of my group, do you think he would still listen to me? Do you think he will continue to trust my read on people? It is even harder when I'm not close with this connection, I don't want to burn that bridge, and I really don't want to waste people's time. I have had it happen to me (people recommend a bunch of people that are no good) and I am a lot more cautious in helping these people out, I have also stopped recommending some of my friends to others because they have messed up conversations so badly.
Well, if I refer an asshole or hopelessly unqualified for a job, then that reflects poorly on me. If it sounds like you have a poor attitude, then I'd probably going to pass. Doubly so, if I'm getting a dump truck-full for referral requests all the time (doesn't happen to me, but I have some buddies in tech to whom this happens several times a week).
HAVING SAID THAT, the vast majority of people that are reaching out do not fall into this category. I've really only ever seen one guys that I should not have helped.
Having switched jobs twice in the past five years, I've done my share of networking and I've definitely felt what you're feeling now - lots of guys are full of themselves and are insanely unhelpful. I've noticed that typically you get this attitude from guys who did OCR recruiting once and never again changed jobs. They haven't yet felt the pain of networking. When people reach out to me, I try to do my best to help. I know I wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for generous contacts I met through the course of networking.
I once helped a buddy of mine by referring him for a position, getting him in touch with all the right people, and pushing for him through the entire process. 99.9% of the time, this works out fine, but he was pretty much the worst junior banker in all of history and got canned in less than four months. Took me awhile to build that relationship back with my old contacts.
You are clueless. People spend years building their networks, and they aren't going to put their relationships in jeopardy to help some self-entitled ass who feels they deserve an introduction because it doesn't cost money. If you come across poorly, it is a direct reflection on the person who referred you.
It takes someone time (equals money?) to make introductions, and why should they take their time to help you, if you provide them with no value (and potentially negative value)? It's a two way street.
For someone to go out of their way to help you there needs to be some motivation - 1) either you have impressed them so much that they want to help you because you show promise, and they identify with you or 2) by helping you now you can provide some benefit to them down the road.
If your last name ain't Schwarzman or Ackman, you just have to earn your way to where you want to go. When people refer you, they are putting their reputation on the time.
Networking is also a mutual thing, it's not just about getting a lead to a lucrative opportunity, always think what you can offer (even though we know it's something that's intangible for now) now and down the road.
You will get it, hopefully soon. If you don't, oh well, it's not the end of world, someone else who gets it takes that offer at BB or MBB.
As above, you're pretty misguided and also sound pretty entitled. I personally haven't had any trouble getting people to refer me to their contacts in the past - perhaps this reflects more on you than on them? Adjust your approach and make them want to help you.
Considering the fact networking IS often how you make money, giving away a contact IS giving away free money. Would you rather give free money to someone who will actually use it well and perhaps return the favor, or on a college know-nothing who will spend it on wso credits?
Sed ad placeat excepturi et et. Ea reiciendis et exercitationem atque. Dicta et qui voluptatem unde esse soluta. Molestiae minus quae a vero. Sapiente quibusdam eos ut expedita neque. Reiciendis qui rerum voluptatum dolorem.
Et distinctio labore non dolore iste voluptatem excepturi. Omnis eius assumenda quisquam modi et et. Aut repellendus modi culpa autem.
Velit ut et earum quasi et. Eum impedit laudantium at molestias nihil aut. Voluptatem veniam aperiam magnam ut enim earum numquam.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Aspernatur aut fuga molestiae in et. Vero atque tenetur omnis non. In non iure eius labore ea. Quos ducimus nemo placeat.
Deserunt qui temporibus in doloribus. Exercitationem labore nihil architecto saepe dolorum non minima. Asperiores magnam necessitatibus aspernatur nam. Sint hic ab corporis.