17 Tips for New Analysts
Andy note: "Blast from the past" - old post from Feb 2007 but still relevant today:
1. hide a pillow at your desk.
2. Set Boundaries. Be a "team player" but not so that you become bitter. IT IS OK if you can't do it all. What's worse is if you say you can get it done and fall asleep on your keyboard, only to have to explain to your Associate / VP why the job isnt done with "Q W E R T Y" imprinted across your forehead.
3. Eat a lot for energy and don't forget to eat.
4. Only use caffeine when you need it most so it keeps its effect when you truly need it - like on your 30+ hour days.
5. Ask a lot of questions the first few months on the job - true for any job
6. Stay hydrated
7. blink often or you'll go blind from staring at the computer screen for so many hours straight
8. keep a sense of humor - if you've done nothing wrong and still get yelled at or reprimanded remember that it's not necessarily personal. You have to remember that investment banking is still a very stressful career for Associates and VPs as well. Even though they aren't the monkeys at the bottom of the totum poll, they still have to report to someone.
9. Shit flows downhill: deal with it. If you don't complain about mundane jobs and just get them done people will appreciate it and notice. Ok, maybe not all the time, but how is complaining going to solve anything? The shit is still there to shovel.
10. Making your bosses life easier means making your life easier -- in the long run
11. Never make plans with only ONE friend - that way when you inevitably have to cancel they don't hate you for leaving them stranded
12. When you go out boozing remember you're not in college anymore. In fact, you might die if you try to drink even half as much as you did senior year.
13. Learn how to use "Alt-Tab" like a pro. For those of you who haven't figured it out yet, when you hear your boss coming around the corner of your cube, a quick Alt-Tab on your keyboard will help you toggle back to the file you were supposed to be working on...just make sure it doesn't toggle from ESPN.com to the site for "Girls Gone Wild." The corollary to this tip is to always have a complicated spreadsheet / model up on your computer and be able to explain what you are doing if anyone drops by.
14. recover when you get the chance - sleep when you have ANY time outside the office.
15. don't do drugs
16. stay in school
17. try to keep perspective of the "big picture" - why are you doing what you are doing?






no drugs?
last time i checked, drugs and caffeinne were a staple in the iBankers lifestyle. you're telling me that it's a good idea to lay off the drugs?
how am i supposed to stay awake asshole?
I am so addicted to caffeine
I am so addicted to caffeine that if I don't have it I get a headache so bad that 4 advil liquigels won't cure it. But if I do have it, I get the shakes so bad that I can't even hold a pen steady. Avoid it if you can.
Other tips
Max your 401K. Its free money dumbass!!!!! Also, don't blow your bonus. Try to save and invest some.
Learn how to push it across the line.
Invest in Kevlar.
Avoid the bullpen Friday between 4 and 5.
Oh yeah I forgot, THE MOUSE
Oh yeah I forgot, THE MOUSE IS FOR WHIMPS AND BABIES.
awesome post..
awesome post..
alt "TAB"
try TAB...its the softdrink that was hip in the 80s and is making a come back. 4 times the amount of caffenine than coffee. plus 0 cals, means no cottage cheese ass.
the master
just try to think like george costanza and you'll be fine.
don't forget
don't forget to use dressing and gravy sparingly... those calories add up before you know it.
Starbucks is your
Starbucks is your friend.....?
"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-
Forget the mouse
Hahaha, that's the best comment out of all of them.
Keep your ipod with you -
Keep your ipod with you - its one of the best sleep killers...
better than alt tab
if your boss is coming around the corner, just hit Windows-M, and it will minimize everythign on your screen. if you really want to take it to the next level, make your background an excel spreadsheet, kinda like painting open eyes on your eyelids so no one knows you're sleeping...
bananas
how do i earn them to access the salary stats?
you post
sweet, I just earn some banana points.
OMG SO TRUE
#12 is so true!!!
Just one year out of undergrad and the other weekend I drank two nights in a row not even that much, and I was SICK for the next three days...I remember in college walking into class half drunk in the morning and doing it 4-5 times a week and still giong to the gym every other day and staying up all night. god, why does this happen????????????????
Make sure you know how to
you know it.
fuck your boss if you get
hell yeah
I discovered the sports
gotta love tabbing
no food bets
Resist the urge to
cool
Make sure the sound on your
great tips!
green tea works better than
haha
Save money/bonus
Pot
Just need a banana folks
good tread
Taste funny
Befriend the admins
Food bets
Keep toothbrush at office
Agreed, bad breath in close
Toothbrush
Proper dental hygiene is not
got to stay in school coz no
hilarious
What's the deal with the
as someone said above,
Thanks, these tips are
Re: Resist the urge to
Re: Resist the urge to
Toothbrush and deodorant at
My $.02 (for first year analysts)
Limit your drinking
Pills'n'Caffeine