6/4/12

mod (Andy) note: old post, but business insider recently mentioned it in 9 Hilarious Ways To Haze A New Wall Street Intern so thought I would bump it back up to the top. Sorry to all the interns/SA's out that have the wrath reaped upon them...

Summer is nigh, and soon a new crop of interns will descend onto New York, with many headed to Wall Street.
While we always get a kick out of the ridiculous antics interns get into, we also appreciate the bankers that think them up. And as the students start their Wall Street internships, we expect they'll get the customary "getting-to-know-you" hazing.

Original post:

What's a good way to troll an annoying intern without getting into too much trouble yourself?

Comments (74)

Best Response
9/16/11

print screen his desktop and set that to his desktop pic. then delete all the short cuts and hide the tool bar at the bottom.

-MBP

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9/16/11

Screw with the printer beforehand and then ask for collated copies of something.....if you can webcam this, please let us know :)

Get busy living

9/16/11
9/16/11

Tell them to go pick up some fallopian tubes from the local Staples

9/16/11

ask him to call a client to discuss something and use your own mobile number, and get pretty irate.

9/16/11

Tell him the SEC wants to investigate him for something. Liar's Poker style.

9/16/11

Put cotton wool on his desk, chair, shelves...basically everything, and sprinkle Garden Cress seeds on the cotton wool, water and wait. Only works if he is away from his desk a couple of days.

Never pay in cash, never tell the truth and never play by rules

In reply to RESC
9/16/11
notaspammer:

Put his stapler in jello.

The office haha. Throw his cell phone in/on the roof and then keep calling it so he gets more pissed off whenever he hears it........ lets hope he doesn't break walls

I want a lady on the street, but a freak in the bed,

Go Bucks!!

9/16/11

Start a thread about him on WSO and see if he notices that it is about him and starts acting differently around the office. Then drop hints to him about who might be the one posting about him and see how he acts towards those people.

patternfinder:

Of course, I would just buy in scales.

See my WSO Blog | my AMA

In reply to NordicBanker
9/16/11
NordicBanker:

Put cotton wool on his desk, chair, shelves...basically everything, and sprinkle Garden Cress seeds on the cotton wool, water and wait. Only works if he is away from his desk a couple of days.

hahah this is hilarious, too bad it requires a long timeframe.

9/16/11

I would've been happy to offer some ideas this if you hadn't phrased it as, "to troll an intern."

  • Commuter
  •  9/16/11

Have him read the GAAP books for typos. Tell him there are 18, and he has to find them.

In reply to manbearpig
9/16/11
manbearpig:

print screen his desktop and set that to his desktop pic. then delete all the short cuts and hide the tool bar at the bottom.

Classic. I think I might actually have to try this one.

In reply to manbearpig
9/16/11
manbearpig:

print screen his desktop and set that to his desktop pic. then delete all the short cuts and hide the tool bar at the bottom.

The classics never go out of style.

9/16/11

Tell him to go find the box of upticks.

9/16/11

Beat the shit out of him in the parking lot after work.

In reply to manbearpig
9/16/11
manbearpig:

print screen his desktop and set that to his desktop pic. then delete all the short cuts and hide the tool bar at the bottom.

lol ive done this to my sister!

"...the art of good business, is being a good middle man, putting people togeather. It's all about honor and respect."

In reply to RESC
9/16/11
notaspammer:

Put his stapler in jello.

I knew you were on here jim...

Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art - Andy Warhol

9/16/11

1. Get a remote mouse (make sure it has a small USB piece) 2. Plug the USB piece into his computer when he's not around 3. Throughout the day, turn on the mouse and move it around. Left click and select a bunch of cells, then right click and move it down slightly, left click again. Eventually you'll get "Delete" and really piss him off.

9/16/11
9/16/11

these are really good!

- box of upticks: always an s&t classic
- remote mouse: hilarious
- desktop image: classic as well

only thing I can think of in addition to this solid list is ... that keyboard shortcut where you switch your screen upside down ... i can't quite remember which 3 keys. that one was great ..

if it's an s&t intern, with bloomberg... there's always the classic "" or other bloomberg functions that logs you off.

The WSO Advantage - Land Your Dream Job

Financial Modeling Training

IB Templates, M&A, LBO, Valuation.

Wall St. Interview Secrets Revealed

30,000+ sold & REAL questions.

Resume Help from Finance Pros

Land More Interviews.

Find Your Mentor

Realistic Mock Interviews.

9/16/11

^haha (remote mouse)

9/16/11

Train a pony to bite his penis off.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.

9/16/11

the remote mouse is probably the most devious prank i've heard of. +1

In reply to she_monkey
9/16/11
she_monkey:

these are really good!

- box of upticks: always an s&t classic
- remote mouse: hilarious
- desktop image: classic as well

only thing I can think of in addition to this solid list is ... that keyboard shortcut where you switch your screen upside down ... i can't quite remember which 3 keys. that one was great ..

if it's an s&t intern, with bloomberg... there's always the classic "" or other bloomberg functions that logs you off.

Ctrl + Alt + Arrow key is the shortcut to flip the screen... Also, if you're in banking you could rush over to his desk and ask him to put together an LTM Balance Sheet and say that there's a big rush as a client needs to see it... If he/she is not that bright, it can be funny...

9/16/11

At my first job out of college in operations we had a legacy internal IM program that wasn't used and almost no one knew about it. If you knew someone's computer number on the network, you could send an IM that would lead to a text box popping up on their screen. Without knowledge of the system, you had no idea who it was from. Also, it was an old system so it wasn't interactive (essentially a one-way system), and you had to initiate your own message through DOS to respond, which was impossible to do if you didn't know the system.

We used to mess with the interns all the time. A good one was to wait for an intern to start browsing the internet at a slow time (we were on trading desks so you could see everyone's computer screen) and send "You are being audited by the IT department for inappropriate use of firm resources/viewing inappropriate or explicit web content. Please call [X phone number] to schedule a disciplinary interview."

We had a senior guy with an office in on the prank. They would call, and he would accuse them of viewing "explicit sites" but that firm policy prohibited him from revealing which sites or repeating the name due to its explicit nature. He would then schedule a meeting for them to come meet with him (he sat on the other side of the floor and was in another group so the interns didn't know him).

We only ever let one intern actually go over and talk to him in person, but watching their terrified faces as they thought they were about to get fired for visiting some site that they couldn't figure out was hilarious.

9/16/11

Oh what about this one? You, be the mature FT guy, leave the intern alone because he isnt gonna be here much longer?

In reply to TechBanking
9/16/11
TechBanking:

At my first job out of college in operations we had a legacy internal IM program that wasn't used and almost no one knew about it. If you knew someone's computer number on the network, you could send an IM that would lead to a text box popping up on their screen. Without knowledge of the system, you had no idea who it was from. Also, it was an old system so it wasn't interactive (essentially a one-way system), and you had to initiate your own message through DOS to respond, which was impossible to do if you didn't know the system.

We used to mess with the interns all the time. A good one was to wait for an intern to start browsing the internet at a slow time (we were on trading desks so you could see everyone's computer screen) and send "You are being audited by the IT department for inappropriate use of firm resources/viewing inappropriate or explicit web content. Please call [X phone number] to schedule a disciplinary interview."

We had a senior guy with an office in on the prank. They would call, and he would accuse them of viewing "explicit sites" but that firm policy prohibited him from revealing which sites or repeating the name due to its explicit nature. He would then schedule a meeting for them to come meet with him (he sat on the other side of the floor and was in another group so the interns didn't know him).

We only ever let one intern actually go over and talk to him in person, but watching their terrified faces as they thought they were about to get fired for visiting some site that they couldn't figure out was hilarious.

If I was that intern and I figured it out, I would have punched you out. might as well get fired for a real reason.

In reply to Flake
9/16/11
Flake:

Train a pony to bite his penis off.

Or your mom.

9/16/11

RatinaMaze, you're no fun. I think watching too much gossip girl and vampire diaries has dulled your mind =P

-MBP

In reply to Nouveau Richie
9/16/11
Nouveau Richie:

Beat the shit out of him in the parking lot after work.

subtle, yet genius.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

In reply to RatinaMaze
9/16/11
RatinaMaze:

Oh what about this one? You, be the mature FT guy, leave the intern alone because he isnt gonna be here much longer?

I bet no one likes you.

patternfinder:

Of course, I would just buy in scales.

See my WSO Blog | my AMA

9/16/11

Im using all of these on the piece of shit VP that put a chicken bone on my seat while away from my desk. It's payback time for that Bi-polar motherfucker. Thanks guys!

As far as the intern goes. Very simple, go out for drinks with the group and stick him with the tab. He will remember you for life.

"The higher up the mountain, the more treacherous the path"
-Frank Underwood

In reply to Simple As...
9/17/11
Simple As...:
RatinaMaze:

Oh what about this one? You, be the mature FT guy, leave the intern alone because he isnt gonna be here much longer?

I bet no one likes you.

Just your mom.

9/17/11

Next time he hands you a hardcopy of a presentation or a document to review, accept it and tell him you're going to pass it along to the VP right away because it is time sensitive and you're too busy to review it. Then, go on the drive, open the document, and edit it yourself with all sorts of errors and obscene comments. Print out a copy of the "revised" version. Bring it back to the intern and tell him that his "prank" is going to cost him his job.

CompBanker

9/17/11
In reply to RatinaMaze
9/17/11
RatinaMaze:
Simple As...:
RatinaMaze:

Oh what about this one? You, be the mature FT guy, leave the intern alone because he isnt gonna be here much longer?

I bet no one likes you.

Just your mom.

For sure no one likes you.

"After you work on Wall Street it's a choice, would you rather work at McDonalds or on the sell-side? I would choose McDonalds over the sell-side." - David Tepper

9/17/11

Put a piece of tape over the phone's receiver mic while he's gone. When he is back, wait for someone to call.

In reply to jack_yeah
9/17/11
jack_yeah:

Put a piece of tape over the phone's receiver mic while he's gone. When he is back, wait for someone to call.

Not sure if someone said this already but I saw this on some show...put a piece of tape on the bottom of his mouse. Should be crawling under his desk checking to see if the mouse is plugged in.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.

In reply to oreos
9/17/11
Oreos:
RatinaMaze:
Simple As...:
RatinaMaze:

Oh what about this one? You, be the mature FT guy, leave the intern alone because he isnt gonna be here much longer?

I bet no one likes you.

Just your mom.

For sure no one likes you.

^^Yup.

patternfinder:

Of course, I would just buy in scales.

See my WSO Blog | my AMA

9/17/11

Have a one night stand with his mom... that'll teach him

In reply to Flake
9/17/11
Flake:
jack_yeah:

Put a piece of tape over the phone's receiver mic while he's gone. When he is back, wait for someone to call.

Not sure if someone said this already but I saw this on some show...put a piece of tape on the bottom of his mouse. Should be crawling under his desk checking to see if the mouse is plugged in.

That's a pretty good one.

patternfinder:

Of course, I would just buy in scales.

See my WSO Blog | my AMA

In reply to CompBanker
9/17/11
CompBanker:

Next time he hands you a hardcopy of a presentation or a document to review, accept it and tell him you're going to pass it along to the VP right away because it is time sensitive and you're too busy to review it. Then, go on the drive, open the document, and edit it yourself with all sorts of errors and obscene comments. Print out a copy of the "revised" version. Bring it back to the intern and tell him that his "prank" is going to cost him his job.

damn bro when i become an intern i hope my supervisor dont pull this on me haha. I might have a heart attack lol.

I want a lady on the street, but a freak in the bed,

Go Bucks!!

In reply to CompBanker
9/17/11
CompBanker:

Next time he hands you a hardcopy of a presentation or a document to review, accept it and tell him you're going to pass it along to the VP right away because it is time sensitive and you're too busy to review it. Then, go on the drive, open the document, and edit it yourself with all sorts of errors and obscene comments. Print out a copy of the "revised" version. Bring it back to the intern and tell him that his "prank" is going to cost him his job.

That is harsh. Hilarious, but harsh. That is the kind of stuff that a real man learns to appreciate.

patternfinder:

Of course, I would just buy in scales.

See my WSO Blog | my AMA

9/17/11

take a card or some thin stick and remove several of the letter keys on his keyboard, then put all the letters back into the keyboard, but in the wrong position (i.e. switch the positions of "C" and "V" or "X" and "C" or "D" and "F")

Go East, Young Man

In reply to Asia_i_Banker
9/17/11
Asia_i_Banker:

take a card or some thin stick and remove several of the letter keys on his keyboard, then put all the letters back into the keyboard, but in the wrong position (i.e. switch the positions of "C" and "V" or "X" and "C" or "D" and "F")

If you can't type without looking at the keyboard you need to go back to school.

"The higher up the mountain, the more treacherous the path"
-Frank Underwood

9/17/11

Ask the intern to fill out an extra emergency contact information form. When he lists his cell number, call him and ask him to come into the office for urgent meetings at odd hours. Role play, pretend you're an MD ... or better yet a competing bank who wants to buy him out once they got a hold of his performance reviews.

In reply to Neighbor
9/18/11

If you really want to have some fun at his expense, look up an old program called Back Orifice, clue in the whole office for a howling good time.

Get busy living

In reply to UFOinsider
9/18/11
UFOinsider:

If you really want to have some fun at his expense, look up an old program called Back Orifice, clue in the whole office for a howling good time.

These user friendly trojans won't pass your firm's anti virus and security controls.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.

9/18/11

I used to get up to all kinds of shenanigans with Back Orifice before everyone locked their networks down tighter than a nun's cunt.

Here's a great variation on the keyboard gag, and you don't actually have to damage company property:
http://www.conversationexchange.com/resources/keyb...

There's two ways you can play this one. You can either change it to some retard language like Arabic where the guy knows he's being fucked with the minute he types something, or you can play it a little more subtly by changing his keyboard layout to French (AZERTY instead of QWERTY), so there's just a few minor differences that will slowly drive him mad until he calls IT.

9/18/11

Go out with him and convince him to do some form of illegal drug.
Call hr and tell them you think your intern is smoking weed in the bathroom.

In reply to dwight schrute
9/18/11
dwight schrute:
notaspammer:

Put his stapler in jello.

I knew you were on here jim...

Hilarious!!

How about steal his desk, combine with yours and create MEGADESK.

9/19/11

Throughout the next week slowly fill his phone with nickels until he gets used to the weight. Then the next Monday take out all the nickels and call his desk....

9/19/11

This prank was done to a coworker before I started there, but it was the first week on the job for this guy straight out of ugrad. One day before he shows up, a couple of guys unplugs his entire workstation (cpu, mouse, monitor, etc) and hides it, leaving just a piece of paper on his desk. The paper is a formal looking HR letter on company letterhead saying how he was terminated because of so-and-so reason effective immediately. The guy just plopped on his seat not knowing what to do.

He found out soon after, and the guys who pulled the prank off had extra work to do since they took the new guy's computer away, but it was all worth it.

In reply to bbjhva
9/19/11
bbjhva:
dwight schrute:
notaspammer:

Put his stapler in jello.

I knew you were on here jim...

Hilarious!!

How about steal his desk, combine with yours and create MEGADESK.

haha

After that, put all of his personal effects in a vending machine and give him a bag of nickels

Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art - Andy Warhol

In reply to manbearpig
9/19/11
manbearpig:

print screen his desktop and set that to his desktop pic. then delete all the short cuts and hide the tool bar at the bottom.

This happened to a friend of mine but the guy didn't delete the short cuts right and he lost a lot of shit lol

9/19/11

Not sure how feasible this is in a real office environment, but this'll definitely take the cake...

9/20/11
9/20/11

find a protected pdf document (preferably 20+ pages) that you can't screen print or copy and paste and ask him to enter it all manually into word.

Send him back to revise it all if you find a misprint or grammatical error

It is better to be vaguely right than exactly wrong - JMK

9/20/11
In reply to design
9/21/11
design:

Not sure how feasible this is in a real office environment, but this'll definitely take the cake...

LOL saw this again just 2-3 days back...incredible. Must take like a day to organize though haha.

In reply to RatinaMaze
9/21/11
RatinaMaze:
TechBanking:

At my first job out of college in operations we had a legacy internal IM program that wasn't used and almost no one knew about it. If you knew someone's computer number on the network, you could send an IM that would lead to a text box popping up on their screen. Without knowledge of the system, you had no idea who it was from. Also, it was an old system so it wasn't interactive (essentially a one-way system), and you had to initiate your own message through DOS to respond, which was impossible to do if you didn't know the system.

We used to mess with the interns all the time. A good one was to wait for an intern to start browsing the internet at a slow time (we were on trading desks so you could see everyone's computer screen) and send "You are being audited by the IT department for inappropriate use of firm resources/viewing inappropriate or explicit web content. Please call [X phone number] to schedule a disciplinary interview."

We had a senior guy with an office in on the prank. They would call, and he would accuse them of viewing "explicit sites" but that firm policy prohibited him from revealing which sites or repeating the name due to its explicit nature. He would then schedule a meeting for them to come meet with him (he sat on the other side of the floor and was in another group so the interns didn't know him).

We only ever let one intern actually go over and talk to him in person, but watching their terrified faces as they thought they were about to get fired for visiting some site that they couldn't figure out was hilarious.

If I was that intern and I figured it out, I would have punched you out. might as well get fired for a real reason.

Tough guy on an internet forum; sounds like someone is so tightly wound that they can't take a joke. Good luck with your career if that's how you really approach your day-to-day life.

I/we would eventually tell the interns in person so there was nothing to "figure out". Afterward they all wanted to try the prank on someone else.

In reply to TechBanking
9/22/11
TechBanking:
RatinaMaze:
TechBanking:

At my first job out of college in operations we had a legacy internal IM program that wasn't used and almost no one knew about it. If you knew someone's computer number on the network, you could send an IM that would lead to a text box popping up on their screen. Without knowledge of the system, you had no idea who it was from. Also, it was an old system so it wasn't interactive (essentially a one-way system), and you had to initiate your own message through DOS to respond, which was impossible to do if you didn't know the system.

We used to mess with the interns all the time. A good one was to wait for an intern to start browsing the internet at a slow time (we were on trading desks so you could see everyone's computer screen) and send "You are being audited by the IT department for inappropriate use of firm resources/viewing inappropriate or explicit web content. Please call [X phone number] to schedule a disciplinary interview."

We had a senior guy with an office in on the prank. They would call, and he would accuse them of viewing "explicit sites" but that firm policy prohibited him from revealing which sites or repeating the name due to its explicit nature. He would then schedule a meeting for them to come meet with him (he sat on the other side of the floor and was in another group so the interns didn't know him).

We only ever let one intern actually go over and talk to him in person, but watching their terrified faces as they thought they were about to get fired for visiting some site that they couldn't figure out was hilarious.

If I was that intern and I figured it out, I would have punched you out. might as well get fired for a real reason.

Tough guy on an internet forum; sounds like someone is so tightly wound that they can't take a joke. Good luck with your career if that's how you really approach your day-to-day life.

I/we would eventually tell the interns in person so there was nothing to "figure out". Afterward they all wanted to try the prank on someone else.

Internet tough guy needs to get a life, that's a legitimately good prank.

"After you work on Wall Street it's a choice, would you rather work at McDonalds or on the sell-side? I would choose McDonalds over the sell-side." - David Tepper

In reply to manbearpig
9/22/11
manbearpig:

print screen his desktop and set that to his desktop pic. then delete all the short cuts and hide the tool bar at the bottom.

This.

I have to return some video tapes.

9/22/11

I'd ask him to make 5 pitch books of random companies everyday.

In reply to bearcats
9/22/11
bearcats:

remap keybaord keys

this

In reply to zfzxzzza
9/22/11
zfzxzzza:
bearcats:

remap keybaord keys

this

...and change the language to Swahili. Mad respect if he knows Swahili and can figure out how to fix it.

Get busy living

In reply to oreos
10/8/11
Oreos:
RatinaMaze:
Simple As...:
RatinaMaze:

Oh what about this one? You, be the mature FT guy, leave the intern alone because he isnt gonna be here much longer?

I bet no one likes you.

Just your mom.

For sure no one likes you.

No, its just, I'm mature enough to get on with my job and not abuse my position with playground bullying tactics.

In reply to oreos
10/8/11
Oreos:
TechBanking:
RatinaMaze:
TechBanking:

At my first job out of college in operations we had a legacy internal IM program that wasn't used and almost no one knew about it. If you knew someone's computer number on the network, you could send an IM that would lead to a text box popping up on their screen. Without knowledge of the system, you had no idea who it was from. Also, it was an old system so it wasn't interactive (essentially a one-way system), and you had to initiate your own message through DOS to respond, which was impossible to do if you didn't know the system.

We used to mess with the interns all the time. A good one was to wait for an intern to start browsing the internet at a slow time (we were on trading desks so you could see everyone's computer screen) and send "You are being audited by the IT department for inappropriate use of firm resources/viewing inappropriate or explicit web content. Please call [X phone number] to schedule a disciplinary interview."

We had a senior guy with an office in on the prank. They would call, and he would accuse them of viewing "explicit sites" but that firm policy prohibited him from revealing which sites or repeating the name due to its explicit nature. He would then schedule a meeting for them to come meet with him (he sat on the other side of the floor and was in another group so the interns didn't know him).

We only ever let one intern actually go over and talk to him in person, but watching their terrified faces as they thought they were about to get fired for visiting some site that they couldn't figure out was hilarious.

If I was that intern and I figured it out, I would have punched you out. might as well get fired for a real reason.

Tough guy on an internet forum; sounds like someone is so tightly wound that they can't take a joke. Good luck with your career if that's how you really approach your day-to-day life.

I/we would eventually tell the interns in person so there was nothing to "figure out". Afterward they all wanted to try the prank on someone else.

Internet tough guy needs to get a life, that's a legitimately good prank.

Fuck you.

5/24/12

make him go to some obscure upper east side deli and pick up 50 heros for the desk when its 100 degrees outside

IVY for Life

6/4/12

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6/4/12

I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk

In reply to IlliniProgrammer
6/4/12

WSO's COO (Chief Operating Orangutan) | My story | My Linkedin

PM me if you're traveling to Buenos Aires in 2016 (I live here) :-)

In reply to Barboone
7/10/12

Nothing short of everything will really do.

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