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6/4/12

mod (Andy) note: old post, but business insider recently mentioned it in 9 Hilarious Ways To Haze A New Wall Street Intern so thought I would bump it back up to the top. Sorry to all the interns/SA's out that have the wrath reaped upon them...

Summer is nigh, and soon a new crop of interns will descend onto New York, with many headed to Wall Street.
While we always get a kick out of the ridiculous antics interns get into, we also appreciate the bankers that think them up. And as the students start their Wall Street internships, we expect they'll get the customary "getting-to-know-you" hazing.

Original post:

What's a good way to troll an annoying intern without getting into too much trouble yourself?

Comments (74)

9/16/11

Screw with the printer beforehand and then ask for collated copies of something.....if you can webcam this, please let us know :)

Get busy living

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9/16/11

Tell them to go pick up some fallopian tubes from the local Staples

9/16/11
9/16/11

ask him to call a client to discuss something and use your own mobile number, and get pretty irate.

9/16/11

Tell him the SEC wants to investigate him for something. Liar's Poker style.

9/16/11

Put cotton wool on his desk, chair, shelves...basically everything, and sprinkle Garden Cress seeds on the cotton wool, water and wait. Only works if he is away from his desk a couple of days.

Never pay in cash, never tell the truth and never play by rules

In reply to RESC
9/16/11

notaspammer:
Put his stapler in jello.

The office haha. Throw his cell phone in/on the roof and then keep calling it so he gets more pissed off whenever he hears it........ lets hope he doesn't break walls

I want a lady on the street, but a freak in the bed,

Go Bucks!!

9/16/11

Start a thread about him on WSO and see if he notices that it is about him and starts acting differently around the office. Then drop hints to him about who might be the one posting about him and see how he acts towards those people.

patternfinder:
Of course, I would just buy in scales.

See my WSO Blog | my AMA

In reply to NordicBanker
9/16/11

NordicBanker:
Put cotton wool on his desk, chair, shelves...basically everything, and sprinkle Garden Cress seeds on the cotton wool, water and wait. Only works if he is away from his desk a couple of days.

hahah this is hilarious, too bad it requires a long timeframe.
9/16/11

I would've been happy to offer some ideas this if you hadn't phrased it as, "to troll an intern."

  • Commuter
  •  9/16/11

Have him read the GAAP books for typos. Tell him there are 18, and he has to find them.

9/16/11

print screen his desktop and set that to his desktop pic. then delete all the short cuts and hide the tool bar at the bottom.

-MBP

In reply to manbearpig
9/16/11

manbearpig:
print screen his desktop and set that to his desktop pic. then delete all the short cuts and hide the tool bar at the bottom.

Classic. I think I might actually have to try this one.

In reply to manbearpig
9/16/11

manbearpig:
print screen his desktop and set that to his desktop pic. then delete all the short cuts and hide the tool bar at the bottom.

The classics never go out of style.

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IB Templates, M&A, LBO, Valuation.

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9/16/11

Tell him to go find the box of upticks.

9/16/11

Beat the shit out of him in the parking lot after work.

In reply to manbearpig
9/16/11

manbearpig:
print screen his desktop and set that to his desktop pic. then delete all the short cuts and hide the tool bar at the bottom.

lol ive done this to my sister!

"...the art of good business, is being a good middle man, putting people togeather. It's all about honor and respect."

In reply to RESC
9/16/11

notaspammer:
Put his stapler in jello.

I knew you were on here jim...

Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art - Andy Warhol

9/16/11

1. Get a remote mouse (make sure it has a small USB piece) 2. Plug the USB piece into his computer when he's not around 3. Throughout the day, turn on the mouse and move it around. Left click and select a bunch of cells, then right click and move it down slightly, left click again. Eventually you'll get "Delete" and really piss him off.

9/16/11
9/16/11

these are really good!

- box of upticks: always an s&t classic
- remote mouse: hilarious
- desktop image: classic as well

only thing I can think of in addition to this solid list is ... that keyboard shortcut where you switch your screen upside down ... i can't quite remember which 3 keys. that one was great ..

if it's an s&t intern, with bloomberg... there's always the classic "" or other bloomberg functions that logs you off.

9/16/11
9/16/11

Train a pony to bite his penis off.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.

9/16/11

the remote mouse is probably the most devious prank i've heard of. +1

In reply to she_monkey
9/16/11

she_monkey:
these are really good!

- box of upticks: always an s&t classic
- remote mouse: hilarious
- desktop image: classic as well

only thing I can think of in addition to this solid list is ... that keyboard shortcut where you switch your screen upside down ... i can't quite remember which 3 keys. that one was great ..

if it's an s&t intern, with bloomberg... there's always the classic "" or other bloomberg functions that logs you off.

Ctrl + Alt + Arrow key is the shortcut to flip the screen... Also, if you're in banking you could rush over to his desk and ask him to put together an LTM Balance Sheet and say that there's a big rush as a client needs to see it... If he/she is not that bright, it can be funny...

9/16/11

At my first job out of college in operations we had a legacy internal IM program that wasn't used and almost no one knew about it. If you knew someone's computer number on the network, you could send an IM that would lead to a text box popping up on their screen. Without knowledge of the system, you had no idea who it was from. Also, it was an old system so it wasn't interactive (essentially a one-way system), and you had to initiate your own message through DOS to respond, which was impossible to do if you didn't know the system.

We used to mess with the interns all the time. A good one was to wait for an intern to start browsing the internet at a slow time (we were on trading desks so you could see everyone's computer screen) and send "You are being audited by the IT department for inappropriate use of firm resources/viewing inappropriate or explicit web content. Please call [X phone number] to schedule a disciplinary interview."

We had a senior guy with an office in on the prank. They would call, and he would accuse them of viewing "explicit sites" but that firm policy prohibited him from revealing which sites or repeating the name due to its explicit nature. He would then schedule a meeting for them to come meet with him (he sat on the other side of the floor and was in another group so the interns didn't know him).

We only ever let one intern actually go over and talk to him in person, but watching their terrified faces as they thought they were about to get fired for visiting some site that they couldn't figure out was hilarious.

9/16/11

Oh what about this one? You, be the mature FT guy, leave the intern alone because he isnt gonna be here much longer?

In reply to TechBanking
9/16/11

TechBanking:
At my first job out of college in operations we had a legacy internal IM program that wasn't used and almost no one knew about it. If you knew someone's computer number on the network, you could send an IM that would lead to a text box popping up on their screen. Without knowledge of the system, you had no idea who it was from. Also, it was an old system so it wasn't interactive (essentially a one-way system), and you had to initiate your own message through DOS to respond, which was impossible to do if you didn't know the system.

We used to mess with the interns all the time. A good one was to wait for an intern to start browsing the internet at a slow time (we were on trading desks so you could see everyone's computer screen) and send "You are being audited by the IT department for inappropriate use of firm resources/viewing inappropriate or explicit web content. Please call [X phone number] to schedule a disciplinary interview."

We had a senior guy with an office in on the prank. They would call, and he would accuse them of viewing "explicit sites" but that firm policy prohibited him from revealing which sites or repeating the name due to its explicit nature. He would then schedule a meeting for them to come meet with him (he sat on the other side of the floor and was in another group so the interns didn't know him).

We only ever let one intern actually go over and talk to him in person, but watching their terrified faces as they thought they were about to get fired for visiting some site that they couldn't figure out was hilarious.

If I was that intern and I figured it out, I would have punched you out. might as well get fired for a real reason.

In reply to Flake
9/16/11

Flake:
Train a pony to bite his penis off.

Or your mom.

9/16/11

RatinaMaze, you're no fun. I think watching too much gossip girl and vampire diaries has dulled your mind =P

-MBP

In reply to Nouveau Richie
9/16/11

Nouveau Richie:
Beat the shit out of him in the parking lot after work.

subtle, yet genius.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

In reply to RatinaMaze
9/16/11

RatinaMaze:
Oh what about this one? You, be the mature FT guy, leave the intern alone because he isnt gonna be here much longer?

I bet no one likes you.

patternfinder:
Of course, I would just buy in scales.

See my WSO Blog | my AMA

9/16/11

Im using all of these on the piece of shit VP that put a chicken bone on my seat while away from my desk. It's payback time for that Bi-polar motherfucker. Thanks guys!

As far as the intern goes. Very simple, go out for drinks with the group and stick him with the tab. He will remember you for life.

"The higher up the mountain, the more treacherous the path"
-Frank Underwood

In reply to Simple As...
9/17/11

Simple As...:
RatinaMaze:
Oh what about this one? You, be the mature FT guy, leave the intern alone because he isnt gonna be here much longer?

I bet no one likes you.

Just your mom.

9/17/11

Next time he hands you a hardcopy of a presentation or a document to review, accept it and tell him you're going to pass it along to the VP right away because it is time sensitive and you're too busy to review it. Then, go on the drive, open the document, and edit it yourself with all sorts of errors and obscene comments. Print out a copy of the "revised" version. Bring it back to the intern and tell him that his "prank" is going to cost him his job.

CompBanker

9/17/11
In reply to RatinaMaze
9/17/11

RatinaMaze:
Simple As...:
RatinaMaze:
Oh what about this one? You, be the mature FT guy, leave the intern alone because he isnt gonna be here much longer?

I bet no one likes you.

Just your mom.

For sure no one likes you.

"After you work on Wall Street it's a choice, would you rather work at McDonalds or on the sell-side? I would choose McDonalds over the sell-side." - David Tepper

9/17/11

Put a piece of tape over the phone's receiver mic while he's gone. When he is back, wait for someone to call.

In reply to jack_yeah
9/17/11

jack_yeah:
Put a piece of tape over the phone's receiver mic while he's gone. When he is back, wait for someone to call.

Not sure if someone said this already but I saw this on some show...put a piece of tape on the bottom of his mouse. Should be crawling under his desk checking to see if the mouse is plugged in.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.

In reply to oreos
9/17/11

Oreos:
RatinaMaze:
Simple As...:
RatinaMaze:
Oh what about this one? You, be the mature FT guy, leave the intern alone because he isnt gonna be here much longer?

I bet no one likes you.

Just your mom.

For sure no one likes you.

^^Yup.

patternfinder:
Of course, I would just buy in scales.

See my WSO Blog | my AMA

9/17/11

Have a one night stand with his mom... that'll teach him

In reply to Flake
9/17/11

Flake:
jack_yeah:
Put a piece of tape over the phone's receiver mic while he's gone. When he is back, wait for someone to call.

Not sure if someone said this already but I saw this on some show...put a piece of tape on the bottom of his mouse. Should be crawling under his desk checking to see if the mouse is plugged in.

That's a pretty good one.

patternfinder:
Of course, I would just buy in scales.

See my WSO Blog | my AMA

In reply to CompBanker
9/17/11

CompBanker:
Next time he hands you a hardcopy of a presentation or a document to review, accept it and tell him you're going to pass it along to the VP right away because it is time sensitive and you're too busy to review it. Then, go on the drive, open the document, and edit it yourself with all sorts of errors and obscene comments. Print out a copy of the "revised" version. Bring it back to the intern and tell him that his "prank" is going to cost him his job.

damn bro when i become an intern i hope my supervisor dont pull this on me haha. I might have a heart attack lol.

I want a lady on the street, but a freak in the bed,

Go Bucks!!

In reply to CompBanker
9/17/11

CompBanker:
Next time he hands you a hardcopy of a presentation or a document to review, accept it and tell him you're going to pass it along to the VP right away because it is time sensitive and you're too busy to review it. Then, go on the drive, open the document, and edit it yourself with all sorts of errors and obscene comments. Print out a copy of the "revised" version. Bring it back to the intern and tell him that his "prank" is going to cost him his job.

That is harsh. Hilarious, but harsh. That is the kind of stuff that a real man learns to appreciate.

patternfinder:
Of course, I would just buy in scales.

See my WSO Blog | my AMA

9/17/11

take a card or some thin stick and remove several of the letter keys on his keyboard, then put all the letters back into the keyboard, but in the wrong position (i.e. switch the positions of "C" and "V" or "X" and "C" or "D" and "F")

Go East, Young Man

In reply to Asia_i_Banker
9/17/11

Asia_i_Banker:
take a card or some thin stick and remove several of the letter keys on his keyboard, then put all the letters back into the keyboard, but in the wrong position (i.e. switch the positions of "C" and "V" or "X" and "C" or "D" and "F")

If you can't type without looking at the keyboard you need to go back to school.

"The higher up the mountain, the more treacherous the path"
-Frank Underwood

9/17/11

Ask the intern to fill out an extra emergency contact information form. When he lists his cell number, call him and ask him to come into the office for urgent meetings at odd hours. Role play, pretend you're an MD ... or better yet a competing bank who wants to buy him out once they got a hold of his performance reviews.

In reply to Neighbor
9/18/11

If you really want to have some fun at his expense, look up an old program called Back Orifice, clue in the whole office for a howling good time.

Get busy living

In reply to UFOinsider
9/18/11

UFOinsider:
If you really want to have some fun at his expense, look up an old program called Back Orifice, clue in the whole office for a howling good time.

These user friendly trojans won't pass your firm's anti virus and security controls.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.

9/18/11

I used to get up to all kinds of shenanigans with Back Orifice before everyone locked their networks down tighter than a nun's cunt.

Here's a great variation on the keyboard gag, and you don't actually have to damage company property:
http://www.conversationexchange.com/resources/keyb...

There's two ways you can play this one. You can either change it to some retard language like Arabic where the guy knows he's being fucked with the minute he types something, or you can play it a little more subtly by changing his keyboard layout to French (AZERTY instead of QWERTY), so there's just a few minor differences that will slowly drive him mad until he calls IT.

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