10/3/07

hey guys, read this posting from this girl on Craigslist and one of the responses below....thought you would enjoy.

ORIGINAL INQUIRY

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST
What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York . I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City , so I don't think
I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or
other commercial interests

PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER

She gets a response...

PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
[email protected] business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.

Comments (95)

Best Response
12/2/10

I might be way off base here... But Belle, have you recently submitted an 11-page presentation to Citi Bank?

More is good, all is better

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Wall St. Interview Secrets Revealed

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10/3/07
10/3/07
10/3/07
10/3/07

My buddy sent that posting to me (and 10 other friends) through e-mail... So true and so amazing.

Way to go

10/3/07
10/3/07

what a dumb bitch

10/3/07

if this girl actually has any form of career?

she is so naive to think that spectacular looks are enough... to an extent, having gone through the same process (ivy league, law school, mba, etc.) is an important ingredient to finding a rich ass dude, at least as important as looks. Often times, you can find both... beauty & brilliance. (At least on the female side).

i want a girl who can relate to my brilliance. who wouldn't.

-net worth or nothing

10/3/07

Why is she so focused on the P&L and not the balance sheet? Seems like a rich guy making $50K per year could have the same EV...

10/3/07

Yes, a bit funny...

Listen, I would advise this girl to seek out a career as a grade school teacher, nurse, flight attendant or yoga instructor. These are the type of women bankers marry. They may want to date models, but they'll eventually marry the teacher/nurse/flight attendant/yoga instructor. I would also advise her to purposely dress down, wear less makeup, look dowdy and become a "granola". A granola is less intimidating and perceived to be less than a financial risk to bankers and we all KNOW how much bankers love their money.

In reply to aadpepsi
10/3/07
aadpepsi:

Yes, a bit funny...

Listen, I would advise this girl to seek out a career as a grade school teacher, nurse, flight attendant or yoga instructor. These are the type of women bankers marry. They may want to date models, but they'll eventually marry the teacher/nurse/flight attendant/yoga instructor. I would also advise her to purposely dress down, wear less makeup, look dowdy and become a "granola". A granola is less intimidating and perceived to be less than a financial risk to bankers and we all KNOW how much bankers love their money.

Ah yes, those "granola girls". LOL! I can't stand them.

********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********

********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********

10/3/07

granola...hahahha, that's a new one... great post

10/3/07

good to know of xoxo people on IBO - how many xoxohthers are there here?

10/3/07
10/3/07

This was GOLD. I was definitely smiling all the way through the response and his similes were BRILLIANT!

I may need to use the term depreciate and women in one sentence one day...

10/3/07
In reply to smuguy97
10/3/07
smuguy97:

Why is she so focused on the P&L and not the balance sheet? Seems like a rich guy making $50K per year could have the same EV...

i was thinking the same thing

10/4/07

It's spreading around the internet now. I just got it in my inbox from a friend in a sorority. The guy who sent the reply was a consultant at Bain.

10/4/07

I don't think it was a Bain consultant - I received three separate emails of this today just from Bain consultants but each of the heavily populated threads had originated from various BB email addresses...

10/4/07

Wow. The response to the posting was near perfect! He hit the nail on the head and still showed interested for the more profitable deal [Dating]... lol... I know what's on his mind... PUMP and DUMP!

10/6/07
In reply to dontchaknow
10/11/07

hahaha.....this has gotta be the best possible response.....lmao

10/13/07

Tom Leykis had a great show on this.

10/14/07

but as jay z said

"gold diggers with your eyes on my riches,
can't knock your hustle for real!"

this girl clearly has a failed methodology though. i mean, why the hell would doctors be on the list! haha. and most lawyers and bankers are quite modest fiscally. guys who make 500k are a dime a dozen in NYC

4/13/10

classic

--------------------------------------------------
"Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' And if they would, I do NOT do that thing."
-Dwight Schrute, "The Office"-

4/13/10

Thanks for reviving this post- had no idea something as great as this hasn't surfaced till now

4/14/10
4/14/10

The girl wrote a response to this too. Lemme see if I can dig it up

To the gentleman who called me a depreciating asset
Date: 2007-10-11, 8:23AM EDT

Dear Sir,

I must confess that I was somewhat taken aback upon reading your email. Indeed, it has taken some time for me to sufficiently recuperate from my surprise. Lest your confidence quickly inflate for little reason (as we know is the predisposition for Wall St. types), allow me to hasten to reassure you that the source of my surprise was neither your candor nor the accuracy of your perception. Indeed, it is your "claimed" success in light of your poor grasp of economics which has me baffled. If the standards required to meet with financial success on Wall St. have sunk so low, perhaps I should indeed "make my own money", except for the fact that the effort/reward ratio is far too high for my liking - especially when so many of your ilk have displayed a far more cogent grasp of market realities than you have.

By now you are likely scratching your ever-vanishing hairline in confusion, so allow me to elaborate, dear man. To build some credibility I will tell you a bit more about yourself. Though you did not mention the details of your occupation, it is clear that you are an investment banker and not a trader, as any good trader would understand that human courtships are based upon a semi-efficient open market, and not an investment banking cartel. However, your inability to grasp the realities of the dating market is not surprising, given that you have successfully employed the tools of collusion and market manipulation rather that true acumen in your supposed wealth generation.

If your grasp of finance were not a minority partner with your ego, you would realize that the "outflows" associated with my depreciating "assets" are quite certain, and therefore subject to a low discount rate when determining their present value. In addition, though your concept of economics evidentially failed to move past the 1950s, advancement in plastic surgery is not subject to the same limitation. Thus, with some additional capital expenditure, the overall lifetime of "outflows" generated by these assets is greatly increased. Sad that Ashton Kutcher has demonstrated understanding of the female asset class which you, in all of your financial "wisdom", have not.

You, on the other hand, are, given the uncertainty of the Wall St. job market, more of an inflation-indexed junk bond with an underwater nested call option. Though you may argue that you are more of an equity investment, my monetary minimums required from you do not change, and if you are unable to pay them, I will liquidate you without the benefit of a chapter 11, just as you would me.

Because your outflows are so much more uncertain with respect to mine, I require additional compensation in the form of a underwater nested call option on your future assets. I say underwater because, even taking into account the value of your junk bond coupon payment to me, the value of my "outflow" is in excess of the market price of your equity (which is quite low due to its riskiness associated with your poor grasp of finance and my existing claim upon your junk bond coupon).

I must thank you though for raising the question, despite the reputation cost of subjecting your weak logic to such widespread scrutiny. This took either considerable courage or ignorance on your part- and we'll give you the benefit of doubt, just this once. My current boyfriend (a trader who lives in Central Park West, of course) and I thoroughly enjoyed discussing your response and we wish you the best of luck in your unhappy pursuit of that elusive market inefficiency.

The WSO Advantage - Land Your Dream Job

Financial Modeling Training

IB Templates, M&A, LBO, Valuation.

Wall St. Interview Secrets Revealed

30,000+ sold & REAL questions.

Resume Help from Finance Pros

Land More Interviews.

Find Your Mentor

Realistic Mock Interviews.

4/14/10

haha. I was thinking she must have called a friend to write this. Then she confirms at the end by mentioning her boyfriend. Both pieces have added some enjoyment to an otherwise mundane night. Solid find.

4/14/10

Indeed, I hope her trader boyfriend had enough sense to pump and dump hahaha

4/14/10
5/23/10
WallStreetOasis.com:

hey guys, read this posting from this girl on Craigslist and one of the responses below....thought you would enjoy.

PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER

She gets a response...

PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
[email protected] business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.

The "you bring looks, I bring money" equation is highly oversimplified and myopic. It's not a simple trade. Women bring looks, yes, but what the beautiful trophy wives really bring is good genes + (cha-ching!!) breeding ability-- the key to perpetuating your lineage, your alpha male high-earner genes and your family legacy at Exeter/Harvard.

Yes, women age, so we might be considered depreciating assets in the looks category (though breakthroughs in plastic surgery can offset the depreciation). But even so, the finance guys this guy claims to represent aren't just going to keep trading in their "leases" for a new 21 year old bimbo every year until they die. At some point, they're gonna have to buy, even if they buy only briefly and then liquidate (divorce!!). Even Hugh Hefner, who built a profitable empire based on leasing the latest hotties and then trading them in, chose to buy at some point: he got married twice, had 4 kids, and was married for a total of 20 years (if you count the 10 years of legal separation pre-divorce, it's 30 years total).

I'd say at least 95% of men want children, namely, a biological son that you can teach to play baseball/football, and pass on your investing knowledge and your taste for fine scotch and cigars. And here's where we, as women, have a MAJOR bargaining chip. You ABSOLUTELY need us to birth that heir for you! Sure, men could opt to have a child with someone without being married, but you'll still have to pay alimony to the baby mama, which is a pretty big financial commitment, plus you'd have to work out custody and the baby mama would be a part of your life, like it or not. The barrier to entry is far lower for women who want to have a child on their own without being married or in a committed relationship: we have the eggs and the womb, all we need to do is visit a sperm bank. For a man to have a child on his own without getting married or paying alimony to either his ex-wife or baby mama, the barrier to entry is super high. He needs to find not only viable eggs (not cheap), but also a woman who is willing to gestate and birth the child for him (also not cheap, and good luck find a good samaritan who'll carry your kid around for 9 months and push it out gratis). Whereas a sperm donor can be totally anonymous, and it can seem almost like immaculate conception w/ a turkey baster, a surrogate is never going to be anonymous. And do you really want your precious heir (who's going to inherit your millions) to be illegitimate? Plus, who's going to take care of the kid you had "on your own"? You're gonna have to higher a nanny with no biological investment in your heir to raise the kid you paid to have. Sounds like a lot of work and your precious heir might be getting a bum deal.

So, despite all your talk about trading us in for the latest model, it's an almost universal truth that at some point the vast majority of you finance types (yes, YOU!) are going to marry a woman so she can have your kids and nurture them!!

The original craigslist poster's premise was that these guys ARE marrying, not "is marriage a good business deal?". This type of guy is clearly marrying someone, and all she really wanted to know was what does it take to be the girl these guys will marry? It's still an excellent question-- one that the responder didn't answer at all.

In reply to scotchontherocks
5/23/10
scotchontherocks:
WallStreetOasis.com:

hey guys, read this posting from this girl on Craigslist and one of the responses below....thought you would enjoy.

PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER

She gets a response...

PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
[email protected] business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.

The "you bring looks, I bring money" equation is highly oversimplified and myopic. It's not a simple trade. Women bring looks, yes, but what the beautiful trophy wives really bring is good genes + (cha-ching!!) breeding ability-- the key to perpetuating your lineage, your alpha male high-earner genes and your family legacy at Exeter/Harvard.

Yes, women age, so we might be considered depreciating assets in the looks category (though breakthroughs in plastic surgery can offset the depreciation). But even so, the finance guys this guy claims to represent aren't just going to keep trading in their "leases" for a new 21 year old bimbo every year until they die. At some point, they're gonna have to buy, even if they buy only briefly and then liquidate (divorce!!). Even Hugh Hefner, who built a profitable empire based on leasing the latest hotties and then trading them in, chose to buy at some point: he got married twice, had 4 kids, and was married for a total of 20 years (if you count the 10 years of legal separation pre-divorce, it's 30 years total).

I'd say at least 95% of men want children, namely, a biological son that you can teach to play baseball/football, and pass on your investing knowledge and your taste for fine scotch and cigars. And here's where we, as women, have a MAJOR bargaining chip. You ABSOLUTELY need us to birth that heir for you! Sure, men could opt to have a child with someone without being married, but you'll still have to pay alimony to the baby mama, which is a pretty big financial commitment, plus you'd have to work out custody and the baby mama would be a part of your life, like it or not. The barrier to entry is far lower for women who want to have a child on their own without being married or in a committed relationship: we have the eggs and the womb, all we need to do is visit a sperm bank. For a man to have a child on his own without getting married or paying alimony to either his ex-wife or baby mama, the barrier to entry is super high. He needs to find not only viable eggs (not cheap), but also a woman who is willing to gestate and birth the child for him (also not cheap, and good luck find a good samaritan who'll carry your kid around for 9 months and push it out gratis). Whereas a sperm donor can be totally anonymous, and it can seem almost like immaculate conception w/ a turkey baster, a surrogate is never going to be anonymous. And do you really want your precious heir (who's going to inherit your millions) to be illegitimate? Plus, who's going to take care of the kid you had "on your own"? You're gonna have to higher a nanny with no biological investment in your heir to raise the kid you paid to have. Sounds like a lot of work and your precious heir might be getting a bum deal.

So, despite all your talk about trading us in for the latest model, it's an almost universal truth that at some point the vast majority of you finance types (yes, YOU!) are going to marry a woman so she can have your kids and nurture them!!

The original craigslist poster's premise was that these guys ARE marrying, not "is marriage a good business deal?". This type of guy is clearly marrying someone, and all she really wanted to know was what does it take to be the girl these guys will marry? It's still an excellent question-- one that the responder didn't answer at all.

blah blah blah blah blah

is there anything more annoying than some dumb bitch who tries to express some inane opinion?

also, i'd like to apologize in advance for any rudeness perceived in the above statement.

also, if the above turned you on, shoot me a pm

5/24/10

Funny that scotchontherocks bumped this thread. When I saw her (now deleted) thread on how to get a banker to commit to a relationship, this Craigslist post was the first thing that popped in my head.

In reply to Charlie Sheen
5/24/10
JackBauer:

Funny that scotchontherocks bumped this thread. When I saw her (now deleted) thread on how to get a banker to commit to a relationship, this Craigslist post was the first thing that popped in my head.

Anyone know why that thread go deleted?

"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars." - J. Paul Getty

In reply to zer0zero
5/24/10
zer0zero:

The girl wrote a response to this too. Lemme see if I can dig it up

To the gentleman who called me a depreciating asset
Date: 2007-10-11, 8:23AM EDT

Dear Sir,

I must confess that I was somewhat taken aback upon reading your email. Indeed, it has taken some time for me to sufficiently recuperate from my surprise. Lest your confidence quickly inflate for little reason (as we know is the predisposition for Wall St. types), allow me to hasten to reassure you that the source of my surprise was neither your candor nor the accuracy of your perception. Indeed, it is your "claimed" success in light of your poor grasp of economics which has me baffled. If the standards required to meet with financial success on Wall St. have sunk so low, perhaps I should indeed "make my own money", except for the fact that the effort/reward ratio is far too high for my liking - especially when so many of your ilk have displayed a far more cogent grasp of market realities than you have.

By now you are likely scratching your ever-vanishing hairline in confusion, so allow me to elaborate, dear man. To build some credibility I will tell you a bit more about yourself. Though you did not mention the details of your occupation, it is clear that you are an investment banker and not a trader, as any good trader would understand that human courtships are based upon a semi-efficient open market, and not an investment banking cartel. However, your inability to grasp the realities of the dating market is not surprising, given that you have successfully employed the tools of collusion and market manipulation rather that true acumen in your supposed wealth generation.

If your grasp of finance were not a minority partner with your ego, you would realize that the "outflows" associated with my depreciating "assets" are quite certain, and therefore subject to a low discount rate when determining their present value. In addition, though your concept of economics evidentially failed to move past the 1950s, advancement in plastic surgery is not subject to the same limitation. Thus, with some additional capital expenditure, the overall lifetime of "outflows" generated by these assets is greatly increased. Sad that Ashton Kutcher has demonstrated understanding of the female asset class which you, in all of your financial "wisdom", have not.

You, on the other hand, are, given the uncertainty of the Wall St. job market, more of an inflation-indexed junk bond with an underwater nested call option. Though you may argue that you are more of an equity investment, my monetary minimums required from you do not change, and if you are unable to pay them, I will liquidate you without the benefit of a chapter 11, just as you would me.

Because your outflows are so much more uncertain with respect to mine, I require additional compensation in the form of a underwater nested call option on your future assets. I say underwater because, even taking into account the value of your junk bond coupon payment to me, the value of my "outflow" is in excess of the market price of your equity (which is quite low due to its riskiness associated with your poor grasp of finance and my existing claim upon your junk bond coupon).

I must thank you though for raising the question, despite the reputation cost of subjecting your weak logic to such widespread scrutiny. This took either considerable courage or ignorance on your part- and we'll give you the benefit of doubt, just this once. My current boyfriend (a trader who lives in Central Park West, of course) and I thoroughly enjoyed discussing your response and we wish you the best of luck in your unhappy pursuit of that elusive market inefficiency.

Her first paragraph makes me want to go back in time and put a bullet in between Jane Austen's eyes.

Also, it's a bit of a bold claim she's making by bringing up Ashton Kutcher; I'm 99% certain she's no 25 year old Demi Moore.

Finally, the trader boyfriend reference is clearly a fabrication intended to vindicate her initial post and take away from the response argument.

FAIL.

"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars." - J. Paul Getty

In reply to scotchontherocks
5/24/10
scotchontherocks:

The "you bring looks, I bring money" equation is highly oversimplified and myopic. It's not a simple trade. Women bring looks, yes, but what the beautiful trophy wives really bring is good genes + (cha-ching!!) breeding ability-- the key to perpetuating your lineage, your alpha male high-earner genes and your family legacy at Exeter/Harvard.

Yes, women age, so we might be considered depreciating assets in the looks category (though breakthroughs in plastic surgery can offset the depreciation). But even so, the finance guys this guy claims to represent aren't just going to keep trading in their "leases" for a new 21 year old bimbo every year until they die. At some point, they're gonna have to buy, even if they buy only briefly and then liquidate (divorce!!). Even Hugh Hefner, who built a profitable empire based on leasing the latest hotties and then trading them in, chose to buy at some point: he got married twice, had 4 kids, and was married for a total of 20 years (if you count the 10 years of legal separation pre-divorce, it's 30 years total).

I'd say at least 95% of men want children, namely, a biological son that you can teach to play baseball/football, and pass on your investing knowledge and your taste for fine scotch and cigars. And here's where we, as women, have a MAJOR bargaining chip. You ABSOLUTELY need us to birth that heir for you! Sure, men could opt to have a child with someone without being married, but you'll still have to pay alimony to the baby mama, which is a pretty big financial commitment, plus you'd have to work out custody and the baby mama would be a part of your life, like it or not. The barrier to entry is far lower for women who want to have a child on their own without being married or in a committed relationship: we have the eggs and the womb, all we need to do is visit a sperm bank. For a man to have a child on his own without getting married or paying alimony to either his ex-wife or baby mama, the barrier to entry is super high. He needs to find not only viable eggs (not cheap), but also a woman who is willing to gestate and birth the child for him (also not cheap, and good luck find a good samaritan who'll carry your kid around for 9 months and push it out gratis). Whereas a sperm donor can be totally anonymous, and it can seem almost like immaculate conception w/ a turkey baster, a surrogate is never going to be anonymous. And do you really want your precious heir (who's going to inherit your millions) to be illegitimate? Plus, who's going to take care of the kid you had "on your own"? You're gonna have to higher a nanny with no biological investment in your heir to raise the kid you paid to have. Sounds like a lot of work and your precious heir might be getting a bum deal.

So, despite all your talk about trading us in for the latest model, it's an almost universal truth that at some point the vast majority of you finance types (yes, YOU!) are going to marry a woman so she can have your kids and nurture them!!

The original craigslist poster's premise was that these guys ARE marrying, not "is marriage a good business deal?". This type of guy is clearly marrying someone, and all she really wanted to know was what does it take to be the girl these guys will marry? It's still an excellent question-- one that the responder didn't answer at all.

scotch,

I agree with your logic but must assert that it's built on flawed understanding. For starters, the responder to the post does not claim that ALL women are trade positions, but rather THIS woman is a trade position. Indeed, the man acknowledges the possibility of a hold position. The "you bring looks, I bring money" equation still suffices in this case because the woman posting doesn't claim any other assets on her balance sheet as the unbacked assertions of being "classy and articulate" are stated without hard reference to her level of education, her upbringing, or any other indicators to separate her from all the other gorgeous 25 year olds in NYC. Thus, the woman who posted is not necessarily the woman you describe in your example (a woman worthy of delivering my offspring). Rather, the responder acknowledges that because others have not invested in her, she is most likely NOT the type of woman you described.

I feel there are very few men of high-standing that HAVEN'T had the "heir to the throne" fantasy, and can thus assure you that most men will reserve the right to go long on a woman (innuendo intended).

You're comparing apples to objectively better apples.

"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars." - J. Paul Getty

5/24/10

That response was absolutely perfect!

In reply to San Franciscan
5/24/10
San Franciscan:
JackBauer:

Funny that scotchontherocks bumped this thread. When I saw her (now deleted) thread on how to get a banker to commit to a relationship, this Craigslist post was the first thing that popped in my head.

Anyone know why that thread go deleted?

Given the abundance of crap Patrick and Co. allow to stay on this board, I'm assuming scotchontherocks requested that the thread be deleted.

There was a lot of thread crapping, but I highly doubt Patrick would delete a thread just because the posts might hurt someone's feelings.

5/24/10

This is great. I'm sure this is not true for all men. This is why the millionaire matchmaker with Patty is doing so well. Their are many wemon that have their heart set on being a trophy wife. Their are men that dont see this the same way that you do. They look for younger beautiful wemon. Some beautiful wemon do get more beautiful with age. Men also do bald & wrinkle. So, this being said how should a women view a man because your looks will fade as well. So, what I would like to know is are you going to keep trading your woman in until your 80. I think every woman should make thier own money and never depend on a man for anything. Thats the plan because of men like you who pump & dump.

5/24/10

^^^High school student? Retard?

5/24/10

lmao, "wemon"

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
"Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

5/25/10

nice Retard? Are you my english teacher,, LMAO, Nothing better to do but to look for error? Life must be good, maybe you should try the gym? or doing somthing creative. Silly me I should have double checked before posting, just didnt have the time for it. Well enjoy your day laughing your A-- off about spelling errors... Its just very sad the way you use the word retard so in light. RETART.....

5/25/10

can anyone tell me how I can look this up.. I've tryed I cant seem to get it..

5/25/10

absolutely amazing

5/26/10

Very solid and logical points Belle. I defer to your obviously superior intellect.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
"Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

5/26/10

this thread became awesome in 2 posts ahaha

5/26/10

You know, I was going to say something funny, I was going to apologize and proposition her for sex. It was really good I had it all planned out, silver banana worthy stuff. Then, I read her posts over a few times and I decided I had better just drop it. I kind of feel bad.

It's like shooting fish in a barrel. It's not even fair. The poor girl is trying.

Belle, I apologize if I offended you, and you're right, I shouldn't use the word "retard" so lightly. It's a terrible affliction.

People will be shocked to see these words coming from rebelcross. But Belle, I must say, truthfully, your posts have changed my perspective on many things in this world...many things...I am a changed person now.

In reply to BelleCharles
5/26/10
BelleCharles:

nice Retard? Are you my english teacher,, LMAO, Nothing better to do but to look for error? Life must be good, maybe you should try the gym? or doing somthing creative. Silly me I should have double checked before posting, just didnt have the time for it. Well enjoy your day laughing your A-- off about spelling errors... Its just very sad the way you use the word retard so in light. RETART.....

I'm only going to talk to you if you do ass to mouth

5/26/10

I am excepting your apolitical reply. I heartly believe it was ment with all due honesty! I am not here to teach the pig to sing!!! This story has taken my attention threw accident google from my buyer. I am very hysterical at your entertainment ... The story on the other hand is pretty funny !!! I have nothing to come back to this board for unless someone else post something worthy of my intrest.., cheers!! Enjoy this beautiful day ! ;)

5/26/10

Wow....just wow.

I don't know what the business jargon is for this, but the expected return in the event of a divorce is -50%, and that's not even accounting for the extra taxes you pay if your incomes are about equivalent. Marriage is a bad investment for men no matter how much money they have.

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-

5/26/10

Ok sure ass to mouth, wow now I'm so excited !! Uhh don't know what to think he's going to talk to me. I'm just so lucky !!! Yea me! I'm blushing now,,,such low class nobodys ,,, get over yourself

In reply to BelleCharles
5/26/10
BelleCharles:

Ok sure ass to mouth, wow now I'm so excited !! Uhh don't know what to think he's going to talk to me. I'm just so lucky !!! Yea me! I'm blushing now,,,such low class nobodys ,,, get over yourself

so stop being a dumb bitch and answer the question

ass to mouth, yes or no?

5/26/10

I'm assuming this chick is ESL... correct me if I'm wrong.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
"Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

5/27/10

I'm hiding this from my husband b/c I'm modest and not a brag but if my husband saw this he wouldn't hide and would brag and we on the other hand have more to lose from the unwanted PR we would get from the few loosers on this board ,,, so when I arrive @ home I will cancel my info out on this board. This board isn't paying me enough for my time wasted. Thier was only one post here that I have read and it was for entertainment now,, stuff your low wage ego cause my money is a bitch slap. My husband makes great $$ and his investment in me has earned him earnestly triple. I always see the glass half full. I'm not to good to do what I ask anyone else to go. My farther was a great man that only spoke importantly. I have learned that listening instead of talking b/S you learn more. God gave is two ears and only one mouth he say. I have been shocked many times from keeping my judgment quiet. You can batter me with slurs on my writing skills. This is not my area of expertise. The only clever writing was the reply from the investment banker on Cregslist. I really do honestly wish someone teaches you how to respect one another. I feel bad for you REALY it's all in your upbringing and what life has given you. Nothing!!! Really

In reply to BelleCharles
5/27/10
BelleCharles:

I'm hiding this from my husband b/c I'm modest and not a brag but if my husband saw this he wouldn't hide and would brag and we on the other hand have more to lose from the unwanted PR we would get from the few loosers on this board ,,, so when I arrive @ home I will cancel my info out on this board. This board isn't paying me enough for my time wasted. Thier was only one post here that I have read and it was for entertainment now,, stuff your low wage ego cause my money is a bitch slap. My husband makes great $$ and his investment in me has earned him earnestly triple. I always see the glass half full. I'm not to good to do what I ask anyone else to go. My farther was a great man that only spoke importantly. I have learned that listening instead of talking b/S you learn more. God gave is two ears and only one mouth he say. I have been shocked many times from keeping my judgment quiet. You can batter me with slurs on my writing skills. This is not my area of expertise. The only clever writing was the reply from the investment banker on Cregslist. I really do honestly wish someone teaches you how to respect one another. I feel bad for you REALY it's all in your upbringing and what life has given you. Nothing!!! Really

is your husband an arab prince? did he buy you at auction? if so, how much did you go for? is there a discount for non-virgins?

also, will he stone you to death if he sees your posts?

In reply to Affirmative_Action_Walrus
5/27/10
Affirmative_Action_Walrus:
BelleCharles:

I'm hiding this from my husband b/c I'm modest and not a brag but if my husband saw this he wouldn't hide and would brag and we on the other hand have more to lose from the unwanted PR we would get from the few loosers on this board ,,, so when I arrive @ home I will cancel my info out on this board. This board isn't paying me enough for my time wasted. Thier was only one post here that I have read and it was for entertainment now,, stuff your low wage ego cause my money is a bitch slap. My husband makes great $$ and his investment in me has earned him earnestly triple. I always see the glass half full. I'm not to good to do what I ask anyone else to go. My farther was a great man that only spoke importantly. I have learned that listening instead of talking b/S you learn more. God gave is two ears and only one mouth he say. I have been shocked many times from keeping my judgment quiet. You can batter me with slurs on my writing skills. This is not my area of expertise. The only clever writing was the reply from the investment banker on Cregslist. I really do honestly wish someone teaches you how to respect one another. I feel bad for you REALY it's all in your upbringing and what life has given you. Nothing!!! Really

is your husband an arab prince? did he buy you at auction? if so, how much did you go for? is there a discount for non-virgins?

also, will he stone you to death if he sees your posts?

I think I'm in love. No homo.

...does no homo work in this situation?

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
"Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

5/27/10

your a fagget picking on girls. God only know what your mother dose for money she must be some whore slut bag. LMAO Thats why your so disrespectiful to women because, your mother is a whore.. LMAO.. Has to be.. what trailer park trash.. ahahahahah .. What man dose this !!! Men with no time no money and the ones that have whore mothers.. LOL

5/27/10

Well, I'd give you the benefit of the doubt Belle, but you have the mouth and the education of 400 pound, 40 year old white guy that reviews porn sites in his mom's basement for a living.

PS- Weren't you going to "cancel your info out on this board"

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
"Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

In reply to BelleCharles
5/27/10
BelleCharles:

your a fagget picking on girls. God only know what your mother dose for money she must be some whore slut bag. LMAO Thats why your so disrespectiful to women because, your mother is a whore.. LMAO.. Has to be.. what trailer park trash.. ahahahahah .. What man dose this !!! Men with no time no money and the ones that have whore mothers.. LOL

haha

belle?

is that you or your arab sheik owner?

5/27/10

Really? You guys really feel the need to argue with this girl?

You guys do realize what we're dealing with here? This thing has incredible potential, don't fuck it up by sliding down to a 3rd grade level.

Get your heads on straight, play it right, subtle people...subtle innuendo would have gone a long way here.

Belle, ignore these chauvinists. Just listen to me: I think you're wonderful. I get so much joy out of your posts, literally. I want you to share your thoughts on everything. Just keep writing on any subject you want, you never miss. I know you're married. If I can't have you then I want to be you.

5/27/10

Damnit reb, why you always gotta be bringing sense to this discombobulated world?

My apologies, Belle.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
"Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

In reply to rebelcross
5/27/10
rebelcross:

Really? You guys really feel the need to argue with this girl?

You guys do realize what we're dealing with here? This thing has incredible potential, don't fuck it up by sliding down to a 3rd grade level.

Get your heads on straight, play it right, subtle people...subtle innuendo would have gone a long way here.

Belle, ignore these chauvinists. Just listen to me: I think you're wonderful. I get so much joy out of your posts, literally. I want you to share your thoughts on everything. Just keep writing on any subject you want, you never miss. I know you're married. If I can't have you then I want to be you.

you realize that if it wasn't for my EXTREME misogynistic rudeness, this bimbo wouldn't still be posting here? she only came back to rebut my ass to mouth comments. with each ensuing barrage of pervy lewdness, Belle and I have been falling hand in hand into psychotic depravity.

5/27/10

I'm pretty sure she just wants to have some sexy time with you Affirmative

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
"Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

In reply to D M
5/28/10
mas1987:

I'm pretty sure she just wants to have some sexy time with you Affirmative

hey, it wouldn't be the first time

this is the same way i met my 3rd wife

5/28/10

Where is this chick?

(for this next bit, think Marlon Brando, A Streetcar Named Desire, and please hold the applause)

Hey BELLLA...

Hey BELLLLLLAAAA...

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
"Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

5/28/10

I have sent an email to the administrator to end this website account. Why I keep coming back is bult into me. I also have a very short tension span and I'm getting very bored with the potty moth. LMAO. I only wish I didnt go back at you with defense I think this makes no sence. If I wasnt in transit and bord right now I would not be posting. So, now that I am on my way home and very busy with well made plans all the way into september I heartly believe I can find the time to even come back and check in. I wish you all a wonderfull weekend !!!

CHEERS,

5/28/10

Let me translate:

***
I am an annoying cunt who likes to bother people. I keep coming back because I want Affirmative in me. My husband doesn't get me off so I come here to try and relieve the tension. LMAO. I don't know proper english, but I truly wish one of you would take the time to bend me over and give me a spanking. If I wasn't on a train my husband would probably have me chained to the oven, so I wanted to get my fix before I got home. Even though my only plans are to have sex with my husband (well, he flops on top of me like a fish with a two inch penis, if that counts), I'm pretty sure he will at some point check my internet history and beat me and chain me up in the basement for a year. I wish you all a wonderful weekend!

Cheers.
***

There you go.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
"Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

In reply to BelleCharles
9/3/10
BelleCharles:

your a fagget picking on girls. God only know what your mother dose for money she must be some whore slut bag. LMAO Thats why your so disrespectiful to women because, your mother is a whore.. LMAO.. Has to be.. what trailer park trash.. ahahahahah .. What man dose this !!! Men with no time no money and the ones that have whore mothers.. LOL

obvious troll is obvious

"After you work on Wall Street it's a choice, would you rather work at McDonalds or on the sell-side? I would choose McDonalds over the sell-side." - David Tepper

10/16/10
12/2/10

This is fantastic.... old post. But still great

12/2/10

Yea, WSO had a classic case of the trolls it would seem. Easy way to let out all that pent up aggression, though :-p

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
"Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

12/2/10

I am in tears after reading this. Belle, please come back. Man, I really hope she didn't get shipped back to her home country with no internet!

12/2/10

Ahahahahaha, touche Argo, touche.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
"Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

12/2/10

On point translation mas. Hahaha

12/9/10
12/14/10

OK. his response was funny, but there is truth to the paradox she is wondering...
His response is true and applicable to any mate, not just this 25 yo money-seeking bombshell. So if the marriage proposition is such a bad one; why not only enter into the leasing proposition? And, she does have a point; I have met women married to wealth who are spectacularly boring in intellect, personality, and appearance. What's worse, the ones who feel entitled to wealth are serial naggers.
He mentions that if his money is gone so is she.. but this is always the case irrespective of whether she is overtly seeking money or not.

In reply to Godfather
12/14/10
Godfather:

PUMP and DUMP!

Best part of the response LOL

12/16/10

I vote for an honorary CFA to the guy who wrote the reply pure awesomeness

wouldnt mind him analyzing my life and put shit in perspective for me lol

"Seeing this house and your fine sword and hearing how you're importing and exporting chinamen, let me guess, you must be fucking rich."
Kenny Powdersss

12/17/10

I'm curious to know how she's doing now. Does she feel the need for plastic surgery yet?

--Meliora sequimur

1/18/11
  • MissLou
  •  1/18/11

This is a crack up. I can't stop laughing. Love, Love, Love it.

1/19/11

I will defer my answer.

1/19/11

As many of you who are coming here and seeing this for the first time can see, WSO was really at its height when this thread was hot. If you look back at some of the things I wrote, you'll see that I, personally, was more disappointed by how this thread went than anything. I was really trying to set up something epic. Always felt that this was a missed opportunity. Oh, if only we could have kept Belle around, this might still be going on today...that's all I really wanted...oh well, I digress...

1/19/11

No way she would have stuck around that long, maybe you would've been able to string it out for another week or two, but I doubt it would have gone much longer than that...

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
"Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

1/29/11

Blah blah blah....at the end of the day you want to be with someone that makes you laugh, a partner, not some parasite using you for sex, clothes or Magic cards.

Although let's face it, buying a designer handbag once every month for a gf is cheaper than an escort

Let's make better mistakes tomorrow

1/29/11

Someone tried to use you for Magic cards?!?!
Please tell me you've been able to stop the villain(ess) and keep your precious!

More is good, all is better

In reply to mmmAlpha
2/4/11

>>>

mmmAlpha:

...not some parasite using you for sex, clothes or Magic cards. ...

<<<

LOL

the OP and the ESL were great... fwding this to my mates

2/11/11

That was funny! Nice one!

In reply to Argonaut
2/11/11
Argonaut:

Someone tried to use you for Magic cards?!?!
Please tell me you've been able to stop the villain(ess) and keep your precious!

LOL nothing worse than being used for sex AND magic cards. It's bad enough just being used for magic cards.

Imagine waking up to find your bed empty after a wild night. OK, so you shrug your shoulders and start a sunny day by breaking out your creature/healer deck when you suddenly find that...Mirri Cat Warrior is missing. You look into the mirror and say to yourself..."you've already taken my dignity, but must you take my soul as well?"

2/11/11

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More is good, all is better

2/11/11

fdba Emory Blaine and BBA or otherwise trying to find the perfect pseudonym.

3/22/11
3/22/11

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

6/25/13

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