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Hi, I'm a freshman at a target in a major city. I want to get into IB, but I want to work on my soft skills before i become a junior.

Any way to do so?

Comments (34)

  • Barboone's picture

    You have to be born with it but practice always makes perfect, good luck!

    "The higher up the mountain, the more treacherous the path"
    -Frank Underwood

  • Investing.exe's picture

    Although you may strike out a few times, you may get lucky a few times. Hit on woman at parties. Make it your goal to once a day meet someone new. It helps a lot. You will make new friends and eventually through experience, you will earn your social skills.

  • SHORTmyCDO's picture

    Become more social? I don't know, join a frat possibly, go out and get drunk and hit on girls. Being social is not really a sill that is learned, I feel like it is something that comes natural. In the context of networking, I would definitely hit up some alums and talk to them on the phone and meet some for coffee. Networking becomes easier and easier the more you do it.

  • MarkyMarkWahlbergWasAwesome's picture

    Start drinking. Heavily.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------
    "I just want to be a monkey of average intelligence who wears a suit. I'll go to business school!"

  • In reply to TNA
    Stringer Bell's picture

    Anthony . wrote:
    Go read The Game by Strauss. Just go to parties and hit on women. Best practice in the world. You will have to think on your feet, deal with rejection and show value.

    Maybe get a PWM internship when you are a freshman and do a lot of cold calling. Familiarity on the phone is a huge asset.

    Can't believe you recommended this book. I literally just got done reading this book this afternoon. It's so bad it's not even funny. Honestly some of that shit may work, but applying their hair brained pseudo science to your interpersonal relation ships seems like a horrible idea. I will admit that there's a couple good points in there:

    1. Always smile: not like some silly fuck but polite and inviting
    2. When you talk with people give them your undivided attention, or at least fake best you can.
    3. Join a frat.
    4. Learn how to do this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_kZmglyw9U&feature...

  • Seigniorage's picture

    There are two types of socially inept person. The first is the most common: they're just scared of making a fool of themselves and so avoid the situation all together. They act very conservatively and are afraid of putting themselves out there. They would never stand up and make a speech or even tell a joke. The second are people with actual personality problems. And there's a plethora of types. Helping them become more sociable is extremely difficult and sometimes even impossible (even with therapy and/or medical treatment - e.g. xanax).

    So you have to decide what branch you're in. Mosty likely the first. If that's the case I agree with those above. Go to campus parties, industry conferences, school club meetings, etc and try to engage strangers in conversation. (Don't use alcohol as a crutch) And remember that you're just a young guy- it's okay to make a fool of yourself. In fact it may even be good for you. Making social mistakes now and realizing that it's not a big deal will make you more confident in your adult life.

  • In reply to Stringer Bell
    TNA's picture

    Stringer Bell wrote:
    Anthony . wrote:
    Go read The Game by Strauss. Just go to parties and hit on women. Best practice in the world. You will have to think on your feet, deal with rejection and show value.

    Maybe get a PWM internship when you are a freshman and do a lot of cold calling. Familiarity on the phone is a huge asset.

    Can't believe you recommended this book. I literally just got done reading this book this afternoon. It's so bad it's not even funny. Honestly some of that shit may work, but applying their hair brained pseudo science to your interpersonal relation ships seems like a horrible idea. I will admit that there's a couple good points in there:

    1. Always smile: not like some silly fuck but polite and inviting
    2. When you talk with people give them your undivided attention, or at least fake best you can.
    3. Join a frat.
    4. Learn how to do this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_kZmglyw9U&feature...

    Advice in that book is legit dude. I literally had the exact same reaction as you did when I first read it. Now I am no shy person to begin with, but I was looking for a way to sharpen my talons. Basically increase the kill ratio so to speak. I read that book and thought it was complete bullshit. Then I started slowly working that shit into my day to day. Absolutely 100% spot on.

    This stuff really works once you are done with college. All you need in college to get laid is sports letters or a frat. Once you get into the wild the game changes and you need some serious hunting abilities. Women are a lot smarter, experienced and you need to adapt your abilities. Getting laid in college spoils a guy.

  • In reply to TNA
    CaptK's picture

    Anthony . wrote:
    Go read The Game by Strauss. Just go to parties and hit on women. Best practice in the world. You will have to think on your feet, deal with rejection and show value.

    Maybe get a PWM internship when you are a freshman and do a lot of cold calling. Familiarity on the phone is a huge asset.


    Ah Anthony, you beat me to it. "The Game" is an absolutely fantastic resource. Everyone thinks it's just about how to run stupid games to trick women into sleeping with you at bars. Yes, that is a part of the book. But 75% of the book (and the culture it describes generally) is about self improvement and confidence. It teaches you what types of things people respond to subconsciously without realizing it (eye contact, self confidence), and how to cultivate those behaviors and beliefs in yourself.

    The general theme of the "pickup" community in my opinion is about relating to people, and it works equally well on men and women - it's only that the outcomes are different. When a woman sees you as a high-value guy who's got his shit in order, she wants to sleep with you. When another guy notices that, it cultivates friendship and respect. That lesson has helped my career more than anything I learned in a classroom.

    - Capt K -
    "Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham

  • bulge4lyf's picture

    Drink.
    Go out.
    Repeat using less alcohol each time.

    I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing.

  • In reply to TNA
    ibintx's picture

    Anthony . wrote:
    Key thing is this. No one wants to be around someone who sucks. Even people who suck themselves don't want to be around other people who suck. Don't suck, that is the goal.

    Haha, quote of the year..

    My advice to the OP:

    Step 1-Get off WSO and stop worrying so much about your career. You're a freshman in college. Enjoy it. Come back in 1-2 years. If you need to, just tell yourself you're "networking" at the frat house.

    Step 2-Get drunk. Everyone else is right-It helps.

    Step 3-Talk to people. Meet new ones. Especially talk to girls-you'll be more nervous and get better practice. Plus, they might reward you with a nice "bonus" at the end.

    Step 4-Do all this NOW. Freshman year is the best time to start. People haven't formed groups yet and are looking to meet as many people as possible.

    Look people in the eye, be yourself and don't worry about what people think. I've heard good things about that "How to win friends..." book mentioned above, but haven't read it.

  • WallStreetOasis.com's picture

    Just forced my roommate here in BA to read The Game. Let's just say since I've been here (10 days) as his wingman, his "success" has accelerated to say the least. He was kind of shocked 2 nights ago when he went up to one of the hottest girls in the club and took the advice in the book. Within 5 minutes, her friends were asking him, "do you want to kiss her? ...what are you waiting for?"

    A lot of people will blow it off as BS, but then you go out and 90% of the guys stand there trying to look tough and do nothing. They hold their beers up to their chest for protection and hope they get drunk enough to approach that one girl they've been eying all night. It's actually kind of sad.

    Some of my best looking guy friends with great jobs have significantly LESS success with women than some of my other buddies that are average looking at best but have the right attitude. Like CaptK said, the book is really about learning how to put your best self forward and developing a deeper understanding of social dynamics.

  • gsssgmonkey's picture

    I agree with just about everyone above. The biggest mistake I see kids in school make is to completely focus on the GPA and miss out on social time with friends. College is the only time you will have complete discretion to chill with friends whenever you want and the soft skills that you gain from bull shitting with friends and hitting on girls are huge. Getting into IBD is largely based on the interviewer's ability to see himself grabbing a beer with you and enjoying himself.

  • happypantsmcgee's picture

    Don't let class get in the way of your education dude. There is a shit ton of other stuff out there. I think everyone has pretty much said what you need to do here but I think the best advice was to stop spending so much time on WSO and worrying about your career. Go have fun, get drunk, do shit you have to bribe people not to talk about. In short, sack up and enjoy college. The social stuff will improve in time.

    If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

  • In reply to ibintx
    Zona82's picture

    ibintx wrote:
    Anthony . wrote:
    Key thing is this. No one wants to be around someone who sucks. Even people who suck themselves don't want to be around other people who suck. Don't suck, that is the goal.

    Haha, quote of the year..

    My advice to the OP:

    Step 1-Get off WSO and stop worrying so much about your career. You're a freshman in college. Enjoy it. Come back in 1-2 years. If you need to, just tell yourself you're "networking" at the frat house.

    Step 2-Get drunk. Everyone else is right-It helps.

    Step 3-Talk to people. Meet new ones. Especially talk to girls-you'll be more nervous and get better practice. Plus, they might reward you with a nice "bonus" at the end.

    Step 4-Do all this NOW. Freshman year is the best time to start. People haven't formed groups yet and are looking to meet as many people as possible.

    Look people in the eye, be yourself and don't worry about what people think. I've heard good things about that "How to win friends..." book mentioned above, but haven't read it.

    I can honestly say this is some of the best advice. Coming from a recent graduate, being social can make or break you. I know it is hard to believe, but I have landed interviews through meeting people at bars. When you are social and able to talk to strangers, it will help you down the road. My freshman year I learned how to handle my alcohol. Being a sloppy drunk will just embarrass yourself in front of all the business people when you start going to bars. Second, join organizations without the intent of getting something out of it. I have gained many valuable skills which have helped me succeed in my career through being part of things that have no relation to finance. I coached a high school athletic team, which is a great selling point on my resume, but I did it because I love the sport. Go out there and enjoy life. Fraternities often have a bad stereotype, but can do you wonders down the road.

  • In reply to Zona82
    ibintx's picture

    Zona82 wrote:
    ibintx wrote:
    Anthony . wrote:
    Key thing is this. No one wants to be around someone who sucks. Even people who suck themselves don't want to be around other people who suck. Don't suck, that is the goal.

    Haha, quote of the year..

    My advice to the OP:

    Step 1-Get off WSO and stop worrying so much about your career. You're a freshman in college. Enjoy it. Come back in 1-2 years. If you need to, just tell yourself you're "networking" at the frat house.

    Step 2-Get drunk. Everyone else is right-It helps.

    Step 3-Talk to people. Meet new ones. Especially talk to girls-you'll be more nervous and get better practice. Plus, they might reward you with a nice "bonus" at the end.

    Step 4-Do all this NOW. Freshman year is the best time to start. People haven't formed groups yet and are looking to meet as many people as possible.

    Look people in the eye, be yourself and don't worry about what people think. I've heard good things about that "How to win friends..." book mentioned above, but haven't read it.

    I can honestly say this is some of the best advice. Coming from a recent graduate, being social can make or break you. I know it is hard to believe, but I have landed interviews through meeting people at bars. When you are social and able to talk to strangers, it will help you down the road. My freshman year I learned how to handle my alcohol. Being a sloppy drunk will just embarrass yourself in front of all the business people when you start going to bars. Second, join organizations without the intent of getting something out of it. I have gained many valuable skills which have helped me succeed in my career through being part of things that have no relation to finance. I coached a high school athletic team, which is a great selling point on my resume, but I did it because I love the sport. Go out there and enjoy life. Fraternities often have a bad stereotype, but can do you wonders down the road.

    Well first of all, thank you.

    Second, you bring up 2 more good points. I've often discussed how glad I am that I got exposure to alcohol in high school for that exact reason-not to be "that guy" in college. Also, I'm a junior and have just recently realized the benefits of joining groups. I always thought it was dumb at first, but now I've joined several and wish I had been in more from the start. Great way to interact with people, whether it's for career purposes or just socially.

  • happypantsmcgee's picture

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    If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford