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Wall Street Oasis » Forums » Monkeying Around
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I'm miserable and think i'm having a mental breakdown
 

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assetmanager7's picture
assetmanager7
     
 
(Monkey, 30
 
Points)
 on 1/4/13 at 4:00am
miserable.jpg

Normally I wouldn't post something like this, but i'm at a point where I feel I NEED to vent and hear others opinions and there is no one in my real life I feel comfortable doing so to.

Disclaimer: I admit that a history of mental illness, suicide, and large scale depression is prevalent in my family. And it may be true that I just need to get drugged to high hell. I just haven't felt that I can admit that failure and see a doctor about this yet.

So, essentially, here is a TL;DR. I have been working AM for about a year and a half since graduation and make far more than enough money for my age. Yet, it's never enough and I can't stop spending I have piled up credit card debt on the back of large amounts of booze, toys, etc. I'm miserable at my work. I hate the job. I don't even work that long of hours (think around 55-60) and I dread it every day. I can barely get out of bed in the morning. A bed that I am consistently laying awake in most nights because of the awful insomnia i'm developing. I slept maybe 16 hours combined friday, saturday, sunday, and monday nights. I can't remember exactly how much because I was so drunk on friday and monday that I blacked out for much of the night. Saturday and Sunday I also drank, but managed to stay coherent enough to remember those days. My alcoholism is getting bad to teh point of waking up, having a drink before work, having a drink at lunch, and then spending most nights drinking heavily either by myself or at a bar trying to grab a poor soul to share my misery and some unfulfilling sex. I don't use drugs, but I'm strongly considering jumping into the habit. That leads into my inability to actually connect with other human beings. I'm callous to others situations and emotionally stunted myself. The last two females i've been involved with couldn't handle my co-dependency and depression and left me. The females who do seem to want to "save me" I want nothing to do with.

I'm in a situation where all my issues with work, boozing, insomnia, and connections to others is starting to stop me from functioning. I strongly considered suicide many times over the past 6 months. I even once pulled out the handgun I own, loaded it, and stuck it to my temple. Only do have the female I was involved with convince me otherwise. I spent yesterday fighting a hangover and feeling like my I was actually going legitimately crazy. To the point that I suicide, institutionalization, or generally dropping off the radar and heading to south america are my only options at this point in my life. I'm not sure how or why I am still alive or if I want to be a year from now. I certainly couldn't stand another year of my current existence. And I feel so isolated from the rest of the world that i'm not sure anyone or anything can help me.

I can't really explain my thoughts that well and I know this was rambling, but Ijust had to have some outlet and since I am a regular here (with a different username) this seemed as good as any.

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Tags:
  • depression
  • Monkeying Around
SirTradesaLot's picture

Here's my $0.02: I think you

SirTradesaLot
     
 
 
(Senior Neanderthal, 4,523
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 11:10am

Here's my $0.02:

I think you know what you need to do, you're just having trouble actually doing it. The first thing you have to do is just quit drinking. Trust me, this isn't something you jut grow out of and it's amplifying every other real or perceived problem you have in life and causing more problems. Just quit drinking for the rest of this week and see how it feels. Plan some activities that don't involve alcohol (play basketball or go to a movie).

If you still feel suicidal call for professional help.

My guess is that the wreckless spending and other problems go away if you quit drinking. You will also be able to think more clearly about your career, but that shouldn't even be a primary or secondary concern right now.

Turbo leverage for capital explosion -- BD Capital

My WSO Blog

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geofinance's picture

Get help asap. Doesn't have

geofinance
      HF
 
(Monkey, 54
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 11:18am

Get help asap. Doesn't have to be a drug pushing MD, even just talking to someone on a regular basis who can add perspective and set goals is a good start.

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jointhebank's picture

Take a few months off and go

jointhebank
      O
 
(Monkey, 65
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 11:33am

Take a few months off and go volunteer or something? It should help you "find yourself" and what you really want to do. I am sure your employer will understand if you consult a psychiatrist and get him/her to recommend to them?

Being a prospective monkey I am bound to post stupid comments due to my lack of expert knowledge. I implore you to correct me harshly or constructively, and I will appreciate any learning opportunity.

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SirTradesaLot's picture

Also, I'll throw you an SB

SirTradesaLot
     
 
 
(Senior Neanderthal, 4,523
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 11:42am

Also, I'll throw you an SB for every day this week you don't drink. Start with this one.

Turbo leverage for capital explosion -- BD Capital

My WSO Blog

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Febreeze's picture

Jesus, man. Good luck with

Febreeze
     
 
(King Kong, 1,151
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 11:45am

Jesus, man. Good luck with all that.

Edit: Think about taking a week off to do some hiking or trailing. It's cold as fuck, but that'll definitely sober you up.

RIP WSO Chat.

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Whgm45's picture

Most important thing is to

Whgm45
      ST
 
(Orangutan, 301
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 11:47am

Most important thing is to stop drinking and talk to a therapist or psychiatrist. Next, find out what makes you happy in life and pursue it. If it's not money and the line of business you're in, drop it! There are changes you need to make in your life that need addressing asap. A therapist or psychiatrist can help you face these issues head on to make you a better and happier person.

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assetmanager7's picture

SirTradesaLot: Here's my

assetmanager7
     
 
(Monkey, 30
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 11:49am
SirTradesaLot:

Here's my $0.02:

I think you know what you need to do, you're just having trouble actually doing it. The first thing you have to do is just quit drinking. Trust me, this isn't something you jut grow out of and it's amplifying every other real or perceived problem you have in life and causing more problems. Just quit drinking for the rest of this week and see how it feels. Plan some activities that don't involve alcohol (play basketball or go to a movie).

If you still feel suicidal call for professional help.

My guess is that the wreckless spending and other problems go away if you quit drinking. You will also be able to think more clearly about your career, but that shouldn't even be a primary or secondary concern right now.

I do work out fairly regularly (lift, mostly) and played in a fall kickball league (though, meet chicks and drink with them after the games).

I see the drinking more as a side effect than a cause, though. The problems at work/girls/my thought pattern were manifested before I was drinking as much as I am. And while the drinking may be making it worse, it's not as if I think I was better off beforehand. I was in credit card debt before the drinking got as bad as it did. The only reckless thing I spend on when drunk but not sober is like rounds of shots for people i'm with. Otherwise the ski trip, motorcycle, new clothes, electronics etc happen while sober as well. I think a lot of that actually stems from feeling I have some sort of image to uphold to my friends, most of who are kind of losers.

Also, i don't really want to focus on the suicidal part. While I could eventually do it, I haven't yet so it's not as if it's going to happen tomorrow.

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computerized's picture

Isn't the drinking / insomnia

computerized
     
 
(Senior Orangutan, 428
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 11:52am

Isn't the drinking / insomnia caused by the depression at work?

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Febreeze's picture

assetmanager7: I think a lot

Febreeze
     
 
(King Kong, 1,151
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 11:54am
assetmanager7:

I think a lot of that actually stems from feeling I have some sort of image to uphold to my friends, most of who are kind of losers.

no offense, bro, but it doesn't look like they're the losers here. you need to reevaluate your shit. good luck.

RIP WSO Chat.

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assetmanager7's picture

jointhebank: Take a few

assetmanager7
     
 
(Monkey, 30
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 11:54am
jointhebank:

Take a few months off and go volunteer or something? It should help you "find yourself" and what you really want to do. I am sure your employer will understand if you consult a psychiatrist and get him/her to recommend to them?

An ex, while telling me she couldn't handle being with me anymore, recommended I quit my job and join the peace corps. It does sound intriguing, but the lure of money and a stable career is holding me back.

I really doubt I could leave this job for a few months and get it back or even a similar job back in high finance aftewards. And the thought of essentially ruining my career at such a young age seems extremely daunting.

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junkbondswap's picture

Sorry to hear about your

junkbondswap
     
 
 
(King Kong, 1,724
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 11:55am

Sorry to hear about your situation which is far more common than you probably realize. As mentioned above, alcohol, as a depressive, is certainly not helping your psychological state and is more than likely making it worse. You should take a week off from work, schedule an appointment with your doctor and candidly discuss how you are feeling (no shame in that). You seem to be against medication despite your family history but you should strongly consider how it may help your quality of life before dismissing it whether it would be a temporary fix or more permanent solution. Once you get some of these issues under control you should focus on your hobbies and passions. Maybe you like to play basketball, soccer, the gym, etc. Do more of those activities and possibly find a way to volunteer. Nowhere does it say that you should be constantly happy as life is a struggle and a job is a job but you should find ways to make life more manageable and enjoyable.

Hope you can find some peace in 2013.

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assetmanager7's picture

Febreeze: assetmanager7: I

assetmanager7
     
 
(Monkey, 30
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 11:56am
Febreeze:
assetmanager7:

I think a lot of that actually stems from feeling I have some sort of image to uphold to my friends, most of who are kind of losers.

no offense, bro, but it doesn't look like they're the losers, here. you need to reevaluate your shit. good luck.

Completely solid point. I just meant from the typical viewpoint of seemingly no direction in life, low paying jobs, etc.

It's also worth noting that I am extremely hard on my self and tend to have really low self esteem. Which is part of my problem in relationships with others.

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Febreeze's picture

assetmanager7: Febreeze:

Febreeze
     
 
(King Kong, 1,151
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 11:58am
assetmanager7:
Febreeze:
assetmanager7:

I think a lot of that actually stems from feeling I have some sort of image to uphold to my friends, most of who are kind of losers.

no offense, bro, but it doesn't look like they're the losers, here. you need to reevaluate your shit. good luck.

Completely solid point. I just meant from the typical viewpoint of seemingly no direction in life, low paying jobs, etc.

It's also worth noting that I am extremely hard on my self and tend to have really low self esteem. Which is part of my problem in relationships with others.

do your friends know you're in debt?

RIP WSO Chat.

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BTbanker's picture

1. Get rid of the gun. 2.

BTbanker
      IB
 
(Senior Neanderthal, 5,336
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 11:58am

1. Get rid of the gun.

2. Instead of spending money on material things & alcohol, save for a long trip to a different country to fight the addictions.

3. Get professional help and get on some antidepressants or something.

"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan

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assetmanager7's picture

computerized: Isn't the

assetmanager7
     
 
(Monkey, 30
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 11:59am
computerized:

Isn't the drinking / insomnia caused by the depression at work?

I think they are both caused by an overall feeling of depression. Not just work but my outside of work issues as well. Though, I'm at a point where it isn't just depression. I feel somewhat like i'm legitimately going insane. Being extremely neurotic and paranoid as well.

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FeelingMean's picture

Like SirTradesAlot said, if

FeelingMean
      VC
 
(Gorilla, 657
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 12:02pm
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"That dude is so haole, he don't even have any breath left."

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assetmanager7's picture

Febreeze: assetmanager7:

assetmanager7
     
 
(Monkey, 30
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 12:04pm
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SirTradesaLot's picture

assetmanager7: SirTradesaLo

SirTradesaLot
     
 
 
(Senior Neanderthal, 4,523
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 12:06pm

Turbo leverage for capital explosion -- BD Capital

My WSO Blog

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Febreeze's picture

assetmanager7: Febreeze:

Febreeze
     
 
(King Kong, 1,151
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 12:13pm

RIP WSO Chat.

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ScoobyDoobie's picture

Honestly, your not there yet

ScoobyDoobie
      O
 
(Baboon, 163
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 12:23pm

Third prize is you're fired.

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SirTradesaLot's picture

ScoobyDoobie: Honestly, your

SirTradesaLot
     
 
 
(Senior Neanderthal, 4,523
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 12:25pm

Turbo leverage for capital explosion -- BD Capital

My WSO Blog

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yeahright's picture

Workout. See gains. --> Stop

yeahright
      O
 
 
(King Kong, 1,107
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 12:33pm

Frank Sinatra - "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."

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assetmanager7's picture

ScoobyDoobie: Honestly, your

assetmanager7
     
 
(Monkey, 30
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 12:34pm
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Boothorbust's picture

It's a big step being able to

Boothorbust
      O
 
 
(King Kong, 1,130
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 12:40pm
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Asatar's picture

From reading your responses

Asatar
      O
 
 
(Neanderthal, 2,032
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 12:55pm

See my other WSO blog posts>

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Izzy's picture

Why are you so miserable? Why

Izzy
     
 
(Senior Monkey, 68
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 1:16pm
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barf's picture

to echo, regardless of the

barf
     
 
(Monkey, 53
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 1:28pm
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assetmanager7's picture

Izzy: Why are you so

assetmanager7
     
 
(Monkey, 30
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 1:40pm
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Powa23's picture

Just stop the drinking and

Powa23
     
 
(Orangutan, 291
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 1:41pm
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Febreeze's picture

are you gonna cancel the trip

Febreeze
     
 
(King Kong, 1,151
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 1:56pm

RIP WSO Chat.

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TheKing's picture

Powa23: Just stop the

TheKing
      O
 
 
(Senior Neanderthal, 5,150
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 2:09pm

Check out my WSO Blog

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TheKing's picture

Febreeze: as soon as you

TheKing
      O
 
 
(Senior Neanderthal, 5,150
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 2:14pm

Check out my WSO Blog

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Buddyfox's picture

honestly, significantly slow

Buddyfox
      O
 
(Senior Orangutan, 499
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 2:16pm

See my Monday Morning Brainteasers

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Buddyfox's picture

honestly, significantly slow

Buddyfox
      O
 
(Senior Orangutan, 499
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 2:16pm

See my Monday Morning Brainteasers

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Edmundo Braverman's picture

Powa23: Just stop the

Edmundo Braverman
      ST
 
 
(Human, 14,409
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 2:20pm

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Amphipathic's picture

I dunno if this will help

Amphipathic
     
 
(Senior Gorilla, 765
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 2:26pm
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Going Concern's picture

Powa23: Just stop the

Going Concern
     
 
 
(King Kong, 1,713
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 2:44pm

In headaches and in worry
Vaguely life leaks away
And Time will have his fancy
Tomorrow or today.

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G.M.Trevelyan's picture

While I'm not religious, you

G.M.Trevelyan
     
 
(Orangutan, 351
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 2:29pm

See my other WSO blog posts

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Febreeze's picture

G.M.Trevelyan: While I'm not

Febreeze
     
 
(King Kong, 1,151
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 2:30pm

RIP WSO Chat.

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brofalfa sprouts's picture

assetmanager7: Actually,

brofalfa sprouts
      CO
 
(Senior Monkey, 84
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 2:46pm

"Sometimes we have to get really high to see how small we are" - Fearless Felix

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Izzy's picture

assetmanager7: Izzy: Why

Izzy
     
 
(Senior Monkey, 68
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 2:52pm
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SirTradesaLot's picture

Going Concern: Hapiness is

SirTradesaLot
     
 
 
(Senior Neanderthal, 4,523
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 2:52pm

Turbo leverage for capital explosion -- BD Capital

My WSO Blog

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Edmundo Braverman's picture

OP, I've been there. I came

Edmundo Braverman
      ST
 
 
(Human, 14,409
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 3:02pm

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MissNG's picture

Its pretty scary to admit you

MissNG
      O
 
(Senior Baboon, 190
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 3:06pm

"Dont compromise yourself; you're all you've got" - Janis Joplin

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Febreeze's picture

Edmundo Braverman: But I

Febreeze
     
 
(King Kong, 1,151
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 3:08pm

RIP WSO Chat.

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Going Concern's picture

SirTradesaLot: Going

Going Concern
     
 
 
(King Kong, 1,713
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 3:13pm

In headaches and in worry
Vaguely life leaks away
And Time will have his fancy
Tomorrow or today.

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captainradio's picture

Some of this might work. 1.

captainradio
      O
 
(Baboon, 115
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 3:13pm
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SirTradesaLot's picture

Going

SirTradesaLot
     
 
 
(Senior Neanderthal, 4,523
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 3:17pm

Turbo leverage for capital explosion -- BD Capital

My WSO Blog

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assetmanager7's picture

Edmundo Braverman: OP, I've

assetmanager7
     
 
(Monkey, 30
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 3:34pm
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assetmanager7's picture

captainradio: Some of this

assetmanager7
     
 
(Monkey, 30
 
Points)
 on 1/2/13 at 3:49pm
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Web Site Security Rules. Users are prohibited from violating or attempting to violate the security of the Web Site, including, without limitation, (a) accessing data not intended for such user or logging into a server or account which the user is not authorized to access, (b) attempting to probe, scan or test the vulnerability of a system or network or to breach security or authentication measures without proper authorization, (c) attempting to interfere with service to any user, host or network, including, without limitation, via means of submitting a virus to the Web Site, overloading, "flooding", "spamming", "mailbombing" or "crashing", (d) sending unsolicited e-mail, including promotions and/or advertising of products or services, or (e) forging any TCP/IP packet header or any part of the header information in any e-mail. Violations of system or network security may result in civil or criminal liability. The Company will investigate occurrences which may involve such violations and may involve, and cooperate with, law enforcement authorities in prosecuting users who are involved in such violations.

Specific Prohibited Uses.

The Company specifically prohibits any use of the Web Site, and all users agree not to use the Web Site, for any of the following:

  • Posting any incomplete, false or inaccurate biographical information or information which is not your own accurate resume
  • Using any device, software or routine to interfere or attempt to interfere with the proper working of this Web Site or any activity being conducted on this site.
  • Taking any action which imposes an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on this Web Site?s infrastructure.
  • If you have a password allowing access to a non-public area of this Web Site, disclosing to or sharing your password with any third parties or using your password for any unauthorized purpose.
  • Notwithstanding anything to the contrary contained herein, using or attempting to use any engine, software, tool, agent or other device or mechanism (including without limitation browsers, spiders, robots, avatars or intelligent agents) to navigate or search this Web Site other than the search engine and search agents available from the Company on this Web Site and other than generally available third party web browsers (e.g., Netscape Navigator, Microsoft Explorer).
  • Attempting to decipher, decompile, disassemble or reverse engineer any of the software comprising or in any way making up a part of the Web Site.
  • Aggregating, copying or duplicating in any manner any of the materials or information available from the Web Site.
  • Framing of or linking to any of the materials or information available from the Web Site.

User Information.

When you register for the Web Site, you will be asked to provide the Company with certain information including, without limitation, a valid email address (your "Information"). In addition to the terms and conditions that may be set forth in any privacy policy on this Web Site, you understand and agree that the Company may disclose to third parties, on an anonymous basis, certain aggregate information contained in your registration application. The Company reserves the right to offer third party services and products to you based on the preferences that you identify in your registration and at any time thereafter; such offers may be made by the Company or by third parties. Please see the Company's Privacy Policy below for further details regarding your Information.

Registration and Password.

You are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of your information and password. You shall be responsible for all uses of your registration, whether or not authorized by you. You agree to immediately notify the Company of any unauthorized use of your registration or password.

The Company's Liability.

As a condition to your use of this site, you release the Company (and our agents and employees) from claims, demands and damages (actual and consequential, direct and indirect) of every kind and nature, known and unknown, suspected and unsuspected, disclosed and undisclosed, arising out of or in any way connected with such disputes. If you are a California resident, you waive California Civil Code d1542, which says: "A general release does not extend to claims which the creditor does not know or suspect to exist in his favor at the time of executing the release, which if known by him must have materially affected his settlement with the debtor."

We are under no legal obligation to, and generally do not, control the information provided by other users which is made available through the Web Site. By its very nature, other people?s information may be offensive, harmful or inaccurate, and in some cases will be mislabeled or deceptively labeled. We expect that you will use caution and common sense when using this Web Site.

The Material may contain inaccuracies or typographical errors. The Company makes no representations about the accuracy, reliability, completeness, or timeliness of the Web Site or the Material. The use of the Web Site and the Material is at your own risk. Changes are periodically made to the Web Site and may be made at any time.

You acknowledge and agree that you are solely responsible for the content and accuracy of any resume or material contained therein placed by you on the Web Site and you agree to let any users that are identified as recruiters (designated in the sole discretion of the Company) to have access to your resume.

The Company is not to be considered to be an employer with respect to your use of the Web Site and the Company shall not be responsible for any employment decisions, for whatever reason made, made by any entity posting jobs on the Web Site.

THE COMPANY DOES NOT WARRANT THAT THE WEB SITE WILL OPERATE ERROR-FREE OR THAT THE WEB SITE AND ITS SERVER ARE FREE OF COMPUTER VIRUSES OR OTHER HARMFUL MECHANISMS. IF YOUR USE OF THE WEB SITE OR THE MATERIAL RESULTS IN THE NEED FOR SERVICING OR REPLACING EQUIPMENT OR DATA, THE COMPANY IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THOSE COSTS.

THE WEB SITE AND MATERIAL ARE PROVIDED ON AN "AS IS" BASIS WITHOUT ANY WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND. THE COMPANY, TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES, WHETHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING THE WARRANTY OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NON-INFRINGEMENT. THE COMPANY MAKES NO WARRANTIES ABOUT THE ACCURACY, RELIABILITY, COMPLETENESS, OR TIMELINESS OF THE MATERIAL, SERVICES, SOFTWARE, TEXT, GRAPHICS, AND LINKS.

Disclaimer of Consequential Damages.

IN NO EVENT SHALL THE COMPANY, ITS SUPPLIERS, OR ANY THIRD PARTIES MENTIONED ON THE WEB SITE BE LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES WHATSOEVER (INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, INCIDENTAL AND CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES, LOST PROFITS, OR DAMAGES RESULTING FROM LOST DATA OR BUSINESS INTERRUPTION) RESULTING FROM THE USE OR INABILITY TO USE THE WEB SITE AND THE MATERIAL, WHETHER BASED ON WARRANTY, CONTRACT, TORT, OR ANY OTHER LEGAL THEORY, AND WHETHER OR NOT THE COMPANY IS ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.

Links to Other Sites.

The Web Site may contain links to third party web sites. These links are provided solely as a convenience to you and not as an endorsement by the Company of the contents on such third-party Web sites. The Company is not responsible for the content of linked third-party sites and does not make any representations regarding the content or accuracy of materials on such third party Web sites. If you decide to access linked third party Web sites, you do so at your own risk.

No Resale or Unauthorized Commercial Use.

You agree not to resell or assign your rights or obligations under these Term of Use. You also agree not to make any unauthorized commercial use of the Web Site.

Limitation of Liability.

The aggregate liability for the Company to you for all claims arising from the use of the Materials is limited to $1.

Termination.

The Company reserves the right, at its sole discretion, to pursue all of its legal remedies, including but not limited to immediate termination of your registration with or ability to access the Web Site and/or any other service provided to you by the Company, upon any breach by you of these Terms and Conditions or if the Company is unable to verify or authenticate any information you submit to the Web Site registration with or ability to access the Web Site.

Indemnity.

You agree to defend, indemnify, and hold harmless the Company, its officers, directors, employees and agents, from and against any claims, actions or demands, including without limitation reasonable legal and accounting fees, alleging or resulting from your use of the Material or your breach of the terms of these Terms and Conditions. The Company shall provide notice to you promptly of any such claim, suit, or proceeding and shall assist you, at your expense, in defending any such claim, suit or proceeding.

General.

The Company makes no claims that the Materials may be lawfully viewed or downloaded outside of the United States. Access to the Materials may not be legal by certain persons or in certain countries. If you access the Web Site from outside of the United States, you do so at your own risk and are responsible for compliance with the laws of your jurisdiction. These Terms and conditions are governed by the internal substantive laws of the State of New York, without respect to its conflict of laws principles. Jurisdiction for any claims arising under this agreement shall lie exclusively with the state or federal courts within New York, New York. If any provision of these Terms and Conditions are found to be invalid by any court having competent jurisdiction, the invalidity of such provision shall not affect the validity of the remaining provisions of these Terms and Conditions, which shall remain in full force and effect. No waiver of any term of these Terms and Conditions shall be deemed a further or continuing waiver of such term or any other term. Except as expressly provided in additional terms of use for areas of the Web Site a particular "Legal Notice," or Software License or Material on particular Web pages, these Terms and Conditions constitute the entire agreement between you and the Company with respect to the use of Web Site. No changes to these Terms and Conditions shall be made except by a revised posting on this page.

PRIVACY POLICY

The Company recognizes that you are concerned about privacy. We are committed to preserving your privacy and safeguarding your sensitive information. The following statement describes the general information-gathering and usage practices of our sites.

Our staff, contractors, Internet service providers and others involved in this site follow this policy or similarly strict policies regarding your Information.

Disclosure

The Company is committed to fully disclosing our policies regarding the collection, use, maintenance, disclosure and security of personal information obtained from users of our site. The term "personal information" includes a name, address, email address, or any other information which could be used to contact you directly or to identify you personally.

Use and Disclosure Limitations

The Company only uses personal information about its Web site users for specific purposes. We do not share user information with third parties except when we have told users about the disclosures, when we have prior consent, or when required by law.

Use Policy: When the Company gathers personal information from users, we ask for permission first. We also disclose, at the time of collection, how the information will be used by us. Personal information is used for activities such as auto-completion of commonly-used forms and helping us contact you when you solicit information from us.

Disclosure Policy: We do not normally disclose personal information to anyone outside of the Company unless we have previously informed users about the disclosures. However, some data may be used from time to time by outside contractors, including auditors or consultants, to assist us in carrying out necessary financial or operational activities. These uses will be consistent with this privacy policy and all contractors using this potential personal information must agree to safeguard it, to use it only for the authorized purpose, and to return it or destroy it upon completion of the activity.

The Company might be required to disclose personal information in response to a valid legal process such as a subpoena, search warrant or court order.

Although unlikely, it is possible that we may have to make certain disclosures to ensure the security of our Web site, to protect its integrity, or to take precautions against potential liability. In any of these situations, we will take any reasonable steps to limit the scope of the data disclosed.

Web Logs: The Company maintains standard Web logs that record basic information about visitors to our Web site. These logs contain: * The Internet domain from which you came to our Web site. * Your IP address. An IP address is a series of numbers which uniquely identifies your connection to the Internet. Although it is possible in some instances, certain types of IP addresses may be used by interested persons to identify users but we do not attempt to identify users in this way. * The type of browser (e.g., Internet Explorer or Netscape) and operating system (e.g., Windows 98) you use. * The date and time you visited the site, and the pages you saw.

We use Web log information to design our Web site, identify popular features, and in similar ways. We do not try to identify individuals from Web logs or to link Web logs to other user information. However, if someone tries to damage our Web site or use it in an unauthorized or illegal way, we may share Web log information with law enforcement agencies. The Company may provide aggregate information such as the number of users who visit particular pages of the site, or the number of people who link to certain external sites from our site, to other parties.

Changes to Privacy Policy

The Company's features and services will change over time and our information-gathering practices and policies may also change.

While our philosophy of protecting user information from inappropriate uses and disclosures will not change, this policy will be updated occasionally to include any change that materially affects the collection, maintenance, use, or disclosure of personal information.

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