1) UBS plans to split off investment banking unit (News Times) - UBS is spinning off their investment banking unit and incorporating it elsewhere to avoid new capital requirements instituted by the Swiss government.
2) Only 5% of analysts' ratings are 'sells' — and they're almost always wrong (Investment News) - It seems Caveat Emptor is a favorite latin sentiment on Wall Street these days, but maybe we should devote a little more time to "Qui Bene". Ever notice how no stock is ever a "Sell"? This is why equity research is a joke.
3) Barney Frank knocked on his Fannie (Boston Herald) - Nepotism is alive and well in DC, in case you had any doubts. Barney Frank has been forced to admit that he helped his gay lover land a job at Fannie Mae (not that there's anything wrong with that. Oh, wait. Yeah, there is.) back in 1991. His excuse? Well everyone else was doing it!
4) "Breastaurant" Chains Have Been Killing It Over The Past Decade (Business Insider) - Who doesn't love Hooters? It might surprise you to learn, however, that the busty segment of the restaurant market has been growing by leaps and bounds over the past decade. And I think we can all agree that that's a good thing.
5) Zynga Is Said to Plan Initial Public Offering by End of June (BusinessWeek) - You guys know by now that I'm skeptical of social media and Internet 2.0 IPOs, but this is one that I GAR-ON-TEE is gonna work. How do I know? I only have to look at my Facebook feed to see how many of my friends - many of them bona fide geniuses - are playing fucking Farmville like crackheads. Nuff said. (side note: what do you wanna bet Goldman gets the business now that it's widely perceived in Silicon Valley that Morgan jammed it into LinkedIn with no grease and then broke it off?)
6) Financial Terrorism: TSA Holds Texas Flights Hostage (InfoWars) - If you had any doubts that there is no longer any such thing as states' rights, this will dispel them for you. Faced with the prospect of the Texas legislature voting to criminalize the TSA's gropetacular "enhanced pat-downs", the federal government warned that if the measure passed all air traffic into and out of Texas would stop. Jack-Booted Government Thugs - 1; Liberty - 0
7) Fed Gave Banks Crisis Gains on Secretive Loans (Bloomberg) - What a surprise. The Fed was running off-the-books loans to Goldman Sachs during the crisis at an 80% discount to the already ridiculous overnight rate. Stephen Cohen, a spokesman for Goldman Sachs, declined to comment. Shocker.
8) House members in the know score ‘abnormal’ stock profits, study says (Washington Times) - Looks like Raj was doing it wrong. Instead of running a hedge fund, maybe he should have been elected to Congress. Using material non-public information for personal gain? It's only illegal if you get caught.
9) Children growing weaker as computers replace outdoor activity (The Guardian) - All you weak-ass quants listen up. You're messing up human evolution. Within two generations, kids are gonna think Madden is the actual game of football. Go outside and get some sun. Seriously - this is a shocking article.
10) New Zealand truck driver Steven McCormack nearly pops after getting air hose lodged in buttocks (NY Daily News) - Probably the most cringe-worthy link I've posted thus far. Think you've had a bad day at work? This poor bastard got an air hose lodged in his ass that inflated him at 100 psi. Man, it hurts to even write that.
And finally, the video of the week. When you need a Wall Street rap video really bad, here's a really bad Wall Street rap video. Seriously. Greed might be good, but these guys most certainly are not. Enjoy:
Have a great Memorial Day weekend, guys!
I really wish Texas had called their bluff. How long would the TSA have been able to withstand pressure from the Texas Congressional Delegation - a week? What an embarrassment.
Actually, it's not even illegal if you get caught - insider trading laws don't apply to Congress.
Any stats on which Breastaurants are growing the fastest?
3) Lol at the first paragraph:
reads like a fuckin soap opera6) Sounds like Texas went down w/o a fight. I wonder how long they could have held out for. DFW and IAH share a significant portion of U.S. air travel, especially from s. america so the FEDs would have gotten some pressure to open them up. Imagine if Georgia, Texas, California, and NY banded together on this.
I mean, it wasn't a realistic threat. Basically, the only way to shut down Texas air travel is to shut down air travel throughout the entire country - the TSA was basically threatening to bring the nation to its knees over enhanced pat-downs. Talk about doing the terrorists work for them - why celebrate killing Osama when the TSA is a much greater threat?
Whats wrong with pat downs? Thats probably my favourite part of flying.
In all seriousness, you dont like it, dont fly. Simple as that. The word terrorism is being used way too often these days, people need to stop bitching about everything. Im all for increased security measures.
Louis C.K. has a routine he does where he makes fun of people who bitch about this. He talks about how Americans complain about everything and when going through airport security are like "This is ridiculous! I shouldn't have to take my shoes off! I'm not a terrorist!"
"Oh that's right, we only make terrorist do that".
haha
This was the best thing to read to start my day and go into the weekend. Nice articles.
I am usually all for liberty and state's rights, but the pat-down thing is ridiculous.I'd rather be groped than killed any day.
Also, "insider trading" isn' illegal for Congress. Their capital gains are ridiculous, if you look at the members reported cap gains even before the ethics article they are mind-boggling. Darrel Issa and John Kerry for example, I remember on one of the "richest list" had their cap gains as a significant portion of their income.
These are two of the dumbest comments I've ever read, in my life, ever. There is zero evidence that pat-downs prevent terrorism, or that they are even effective at detecting concealed weapons. Terrorist plots are prevented by three things.
1) Intelligence 2) Terrorists own stupidity 3) Passenger activism
The TSA has never once stopped a terrorist. If you're going to have airport security, do it the Israeli way, or piss off with your little theatrical act.
Even if the TSA did prevent a terrorist attack, it would have to do so with startling regularity to justify the expense. Look, if I knew on 9/11 that there was going to be a terrorist attack on a US airliner, I'd probably still consider flying on that day - it statistically is still about as safe as driving, even if one plane goes down a day.
Terrorism is about exactly what it says it is, creating terror. Al Qaeda doesn't want to kill you - they just want to kill enough of your peers that you'll live in fear, waste money fighting ghosts, and eventually give up. And when you say something as fucking pissant stupid as "I'd rather be groped than killed any day," you're basically saying that you're dumb enough to let them win. And that's just embarrassing.
If you're for increased security measures, carry a gun with you. Don't make me subsidize your pathetic paranoia.
I forget where I read this. But a writer once made a great point that if a terrorist makes it to the airport in the first place... the means they outsmarted the CIA, FBI, DHS, and state police departments... and no rent a cop TSA is going to be able to stop them now.
This isnt a question of TSA's competency at all. That is a whole different issue. This is just a simple measure that doesn't add to costs that is being argued against for a stupid reason as 'dont let the terrorists win'. Its not like they are proposing for people to do something extreme or go out of their way or anything. This isnt even about the safeness of flying either, this is about how such a small thing is being blown out of proportions. We should just scrap the metal detectors then, as well as airport security in that case.
I have just one question - how in the fuck did that air hose get lodged in the guy's asshole?
HAHAHAHAHA!
I thought the same thing at first, like, "Hey doc, I slipped and fell and this gerbil went up my ass." But after reading the article it sounds legit. Just a freak accident with horrible, horrible consequences.
It's like when the guy fell off the ladder and landed on a broom stick.. 26 inches right in the butt. Now THAT is a freak accident..
I was going to suggest auditing a probability and statistics class but, yeah, drexelalum11 about has it covered.
Article 9 is terrifying. I don't want my kids to start playing video games too young but I also don't want to be a hypocrite. I was playing Doom when I was 6.
LOL.
If you were playing Doom at 6, physical fitness (or the lack thereof) is the least of your issues.
Haha. I'm doing just fine actually (as far as I know). Look out for weak-looking dude try to go postal with a BFG at a bank near you.
9 definitely has some truth.
My niece is the most sedentary 8 year old I've ever known... When I was that age I HATED to be inside during the summer... We wanted to get as far away from the house as we could.
"Falling off a branch used to be a good lesson in picking yourself up and learning to climb better. Now fear of litigation stops the child climbing in the first place."
Love this by the way.
Ausome video!!!! GREED IS GOOD,just look at how fucked up are countries which consider greed and profit a sin...
Here's a couple more to get your blood boiling:
http://www.prisonplanet.com/utah-to-follow-texas-lead-in-tsa-grope-down…
http://www.prisonplanet.com/tsa-thug-grabs-crotch-of-injured-vet.html
[quote=Edmundo Braverman]Here's a couple more to get your blood boiling:
http://www.prisonplanet.com/utah-to-follow-texas-lead-in-tsa-grope-down…
http://www.prisonplanet.com/tsa-thug-grabs-crotch-of-injured-vet.html[/…] Sweet - prison planet. Try the Schiller institute next - they've actually got people inside the admistrations they criticize. These guys are pure conspiracy theorists, but they are correct on one very simple point: we live in an oligarchy.......specifically, a plutocracy.
I'll be honest. The TSA is incompetent as hell. Privatize airport security, that's the way it was until Carter anyway. I mean look @ this...
http://www.examiner.com/conservative-in-spokane/loaded-gun-gets-past-ts…
Not to be racist, but wouldn't most screeners look at an Iranian man's baggage more carefully. He had a .45 in his briefcase that he carried onto the plane! How dumb are these people?
I'd rather have less security with private airport security- because they'd pay attention- but that's not gonna happen. What government agency is efficient and the best at what they do? Maybe the NSA or NASA, but they still waste ungodly amounts of money. And rather than rolling back the role of government in extraneous aspects of our lives (healthcare, private security, utilities, etc.) we are increasing it all the time. It's stupid, when people spend other people's money it's a lot easier to justify that $800,000 outhouse
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