The Street Before Christmas 2010
by Edmundo Braverman
Another year over and we're at it again
No monkey is safe from Uncle Eddie's rhymes
And 2010 was full of greed, drama, and crimes
Top billing this year goes to Lloyd's Goldman Sachs
who robbed, raped, and pillaged like Mongols on crack
So brazen their hubris one has to applaud
Abacus, Paulson, and all manner of fraud
The year introduced us to Fabulous Fabrice
and SWAPS meant to hide the condition of Greece
They tanked the Euro till it was near-dead
and repaid TARP with secret loans from the Fed
Chronic unemployment was ten percent's fate
and B of A gave us Foreclosuregate
Housing prices sunk like a hole in the boat
while courts heard the cry, "Show me the note!"
Dodd-Frank was a bust, those dithering tools
they just gave us a watered-down Volcker Rule
A return to Glass-Steagal is what we need
to rein in all the destructive greed
Plenty of doubt about HFT lingers
after May's flash crash was blamed on fat fingers
The fact is investors are nobody's fools
they're aware of the front-running and shady dark pools
Stone disappointed every Wall Street fan
with a sequel that shouldn't have left the can
Shia LaDouche is no Charlie Sheen
For over two hours he stunk up the screen
Bernanke stood proud with a dollar debased
It'll now be a century before debt's erased
He injected a second round of quantitative easing
a move trading partners found most displeasing
It no doubt will foment a currency war
and cause both Euro and Yuan to soar
He can't get enough of this idiotic plan
Perhaps Ron Paul can hamstring the man
Grains and metals are off to the races
Short JPM traders were left with red faces
Investors want to own something real
and don't seem too interested in Obama's New Deal
All in all, twenty-ten was an interesting year
We spent like sailors while Europe's austere
We never seem to learn from the past
And for now it looks like the die has been cast
But there's hope for the monkeys who do their job right
who hit the books hard and work through the night
You'll get rich if you work hard and play by the rules
Maximize value and ignore the fools
There's nothing wrong with chasing a buck
but don't steal it from someone who's down on his luck
Accepting corporate welfare by threatening a crash
is writing checks with your mouth that your ass just can't cash
The guys at the top are what's wrong with the Street
but they'll be gone soon, replaced by those who don't cheat
Let's weed out the dicks with their greedy obsession
and restore a little honor to our vaunted profession
If you like this year's ditty, feel free to forward it at will or post it to your own website. Just remember - DON'T BE EVIL - and be sure to link back to WallStreetOasis.com.
I still hate poetry, but this was very entertaining and a great overall summary of 2010. Thanks Uncle Eddie and happy holidays!
"robbed, raped, and pillaged like Mongols on crack" is a simply amazing line
Congrats Eddie, you did it again. Merry Christmas bro.
Energy Rodeo better make 2011 version
Quite the summary Eddie! And you still provide hope that one day the crooks will be replaced by those of us who choose to hit the books ... I just hope its sooner than later!
Merry Christmas, quite an entertaining and brilliant piece of work.
Great job
Great job Eddie, Merry Christmas to you
Great job Eddie, Merry Christmas to you
Good job Eddie.
Regards
This line is just brilliant:
Accepting corporate welfare by threatening a crash is writing checks with your mouth that your ass just can't cash
Merry Christmas Eddie, this was very delightful indeed!
Merry Christmas Eddie and thank you for all the articles you've posted.
Ha, great post, but I have to ask Edmundo......Did I inspire this?
Autem cupiditate accusamus eos. Placeat qui omnis suscipit et dolorem odio. Omnis placeat repudiandae molestias omnis labore sint illo. Maiores ducimus ea exercitationem autem quae incidunt dignissimos illum.
Deserunt officia ab iure ea qui laborum. Asperiores iusto reprehenderit praesentium sapiente. Officia nesciunt aliquid quia qui odio voluptatem.
Et illum vitae unde at. Fuga sed nemo nostrum soluta omnis. Repellendus optio quae et qui error repudiandae nemo.
Velit ab nostrum dolorum iste. Omnis nulla sed suscipit harum est. Excepturi sunt ut nostrum nisi.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...