Weekend Wars: Dreams vs. Reality
We spend a lot of time dreaming. If you slept just 5 hours a night and lived to 60 you would spend over 4500 days asleep. That's 12.5 years or over 20% of your lifetime.
For the typical monkey, we could argue that dreaming happens even while he's awake...
Building the future empire of wealth, power and prestige in his mind. For one reason or another our dreams have led us here.
But what if your dreams couldn't come true? What if the goal you've had your mind set on wasn't an option?
Do our dreams actually have anything to do with who we really are or are they just ideas put in our head by the volatile combo of societal pressures, ego and idols?
Over the past twelve months, my life has changed more than it had in the previous twelve years. Dreams I had clung to as long as I could remember have been completely dashed and opportunities which I could have never imagined, have curiously popped up. This surreal but purposeful series of events has forced me to realize that many of the goals I held so dear, really weren't what I wanted at all. There was this illusion I had created of my actual goals being aligned with my ambitions related to measureable achievements. I am not saying this might be the case with you...I am simply telling you my story.
Nothing more. Nothing less.
Every day I see people pining over their dreams...yet, I have a feeling that these dreams aren't for real.
Robert Browning once wrote that:
a man's reach should exceed his grasp
But what if there was nothing to reach for? What if that ultimate goal you've attached yourself to...no longer existed?
Would you still walk the path you are on? Would you obsess and stress over your current worries?
What would happen if that star you're chasing suddenly fizzled out?
Who would you be? Would you lose your sense of self? What would you do right this minute?
I'm curious...let me hear it.
So you're saying you once dreamt of being a billionaire but your now satisfied with ~400-500k after taxes and a good wife?
I think what he means is, what if your dream of wanting to become a billionaire was actually based on some form of an insecurity, stemming from a narcissistic desire to impress others, V.S. a dream that comes from your "true self" or as Midas puts it, "Who you really are". If you find out that your dream is based off the former, then what do you do? Do you continue to hang onto the dream or do you let go and make readjustments?
hmmm...force is strong with this one...
I am not familiar with this theorem
hahahahahhaha
I dream everyday about making the Ivy league fucks that populate this board kiss the rings. I will not rest until that dream is fulfilled.
Ditto
Thought provoking to say the least. I think if you asked any of my best friends about me and asked them to tell you three things about me, two of the three things would have something to do with what I want to do regarding ibanking. (The third would probably be that they no longer believe all italians are like the jersey shore show after meeting me).
I would definitely lose my sense of self, but only if it became clear that I wasn't even going to come close to the goal. For better or worse, in our world a big part of who you are is what you do - but for a lot of people here the significance isn't necessarily in actually doing what Henry Kravis or John Paulson did, it's in WINNING. And when you put it that way, being unable to get to your goal is losing. Nobody's gonna just shrug that off.
Been trying out Stoicism lately. If successful, I wouldn't let it bother me.
Hell, this time last year I had totally different dreams and aspirations. There is always something you can set a goal to improve upon. So if you can't be a BSD then fine; work on your jump shot or your chess game or a hobby. Success is determined by your effort and choices, not your ability.
Read an interesting book once called The Dream Manager, which definitely covers this topic closely.
Good thread topic, Midas. Well done.
For me, the idea of "dreaming" is experience, learning and pursuing my various passions; not grand ideas of being the next mogul on the cover of Forbes or owning yachts and massive estates across the world (had real estate or yachting been an interest of mine then maybe I would search duPont... but I don't care for that).
I stayed a few nights at a winter resort recently. I woke up right after a storm dropped a fresh coat of powder over the mountain range. It was about 5:30 so the sun had not come up fully but you could see everything from across the valley; snow covered evergreens, the runs, spots of fog above and below the resort, even a few stars... a truly beautiful view. This was the opportune time to pull out the French press and warm clothes and sit out on the balcony for some coffee and cigarettes while I soaked in such a special moment. Now sitting on a balcony drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes while waiting for the sun to rise may not sound like anything special to you but for me that moment was euphoric to just sit alone with my thoughts at peace.
In my eyes, "living the dream" is about being happy. In that case, I am living the dream everyday. It's not about an end goal or chasing a star, so nothing can be stripped from my happiness. It's about living life in the moment... coffee and cigarettes.
Whatever events happen in the rest of my life (should I become dirt poor, a mogul on the cover of Forbes or die tomorrow) I know I will have been happy walking the path of living my dream.
Like I said before, glad you're here.
If I don't get a job at GS in their TMT group I am going to shoot myself and just try to reincarnate so I can try again.
All kidding aside, I think Midas is really getting to the heart of a lot of what WSO is all about. You have a very specific picture of what you want to do when you are in school, trying to lateral, whatever but for whatever reason that doesn't work. If and when you are disappointed (sorry kids, it will happen) what do you do then?
This post instantly reminded me of the following quote and I think a lot of people, monkeys particularly could benefit from reading it: "What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well."
Just a little something to think about,
I'm sure this one made everyone think, but if my "dreams couldn't come true or even if the goals I've had on my mind wasn't an option" I would just move on, set another goal, and perhaps go after another dream.
As we all know...."life goes on", so in my opinion there's no point in dwelling upon such thoughts.
I pretty much daydream 50% of the time I'm awake. I will plan stuff out in my head, social and professional. It's weird because I can't think of one single instance where any of my dreams have come to fruition, yet I keep living in a fictional dream world.
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