Advice for career/etc.
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You might want to edit out the firm you work at in your post. Professionals read WSO all the time, and I assume you want to keep your anonymity.
This might sound tongue in cheek, but honestly, the best way at improving almost anything is through repetition and seeing how others do it. Writing is no exception. Pick up some underwriting memos and read them. See how they are worded and shamelessly copy their style. Try to understand why certain phrases are used and why certain things are framed how they are. This helped me a lot in IB with drafting teasers and CIMs. Do not be afraid to ask someone more senior for help and watch and take note when someone more senior makes corrections to your memos. Always ask yourself (or them) "why".
You might also want to read more. Reading is really the easiest way to improve grammar, writing, speaking, etc.
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