100% Guaranteed IBD Internship at BB ... who wants a bite? This is my offer

I have connections to a major BB with guaranteed $65k starting salary with potential for $50-80k+ bonus...first year IB Analyst - no experience or previous internships required. Does not need target school affilations. GPA, however, cannot be lower than a 3.2.

You just have to suck my dick for 30 minutes though and then bark like a dog while you stroke my nuts.

It might or might not be taped for Youtube purposes (your face censored) where I have plans to make it a 2girls1cup type of thing....with ads.

Seriously now. PM me if interested.

previous experience sucking dick preferred, though not required.

18 Comments
 

You'll get so many gay monkey's to do that no problem... don't see what your getting here other than proving your gay...

You could also get girls... to pm you which would just be paying for sex... illegal..

Don't exactly see what your gaining here...

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee WSO is not your personal search function.
 
blackfinancierYou'll get so many gay monkey's to do that no problem... don't see what your getting here other than proving your gay...

You could also get girls... to pm you which would just be paying for sex... illegal..

Don't exactly see what your gaining here...

He's getting head. Any hole is a goal....

"After you work on Wall Street it’s a choice, would you rather work at McDonalds or on the sell-side? I would choose McDonalds over the sell-side.” - David Tepper
 

there are those who say they'll "bend over" to get a job with Goldman....then there are those who actually DO it.

actions speak louder than words.

in conclusion, my cock > black cock.

 
lookatmycockthere are those who say they'll "bend over" to get a job with Goldman....then there are those who actually DO it.

actions speak louder than words.

in conclusion, my cock > black cock.

your E cock > any cock. Your real cock any cock

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee WSO is not your personal search function.
 

The winning response will be from the guy who hires a porn star to suck his cock and then still gets the job! POW!!!

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 
heisterThe winning response will be from the guy who hires a porn star to suck his cock and then still gets the job! POW!!!

and the porn star just got done eating a taco with hot sauce

 

come on guys how do you expect to risk your entire legal lives, wives, kids, and careers to kiss your MD's ass to take part in a forced insider trading transaction for huge sums of money if you cant even suck dick for 30 minutes?? Shows how much a man is willing to go to fulfill a goal.

the ultimate interview question. you're all a bunch of fucking pikers.

me? nah, i wouldnt have the guts to do it. thats why i'd make a horrible investment banker or trader ;)

 

Its simple, my time is better spent on excel files so I pay a hooker or porn star to do it and maximize my upside potential by kissing my bosses ass and getting my shit done BOOM!

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

Officia laudantium saepe aut accusantium aperiam ut qui. Et et beatae voluptas eos.

Eum sequi maxime eos sequi laborum aut magnam. Corporis consequatur nihil doloribus ratione ullam quo. Quasi dicta sequi ullam consequatur.

In modi adipisci blanditiis nostrum. Rerum omnis molestias ut amet dolorem occaecati. Voluptas dicta ea commodi labore quis dolorum. Ut magnam quod est aperiam animi dolore. Saepe blanditiis ex quae culpa deserunt illum.

Adipisci debitis eius qui sit. Ut aut delectus qui qui. Repudiandae repudiandae unde et dolores a nobis quo. Et laboriosam tempora rem numquam ratione et temporibus. Est ab odit delectus vitae. Fugit et nihil nemo soluta possimus est eligendi. Velit dolor modi sed cupiditate quas recusandae.

There are no great men, only great challenges that ordinary men are forced by circumstances to overcome. -William F. Hasley

Career Advancement Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.3%
  • Guggenheim Partners 01 97.7%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Morgan Stanley 02 98.9%
  • Evercore 01 98.3%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.7%
  • Banco Santander 01 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 06 98.3%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.7%
  • JPMorgan 01 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (15) $434
  • Associates (46) $258
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (22) $179
  • Intern/Summer Associate (13) $156
  • 1st Year Analyst (79) $150
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (73) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
3
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
4
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
5
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
6
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
7
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
8
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
9
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”