22yo IB Analyst just had mental health breakdown
I hope any of you who read this are doing well! For context, I am 22yo and based in the UK working at an EB in London. I joined after graduating university, and had IB as an aspiration for years before that. I am from a highly unstable family and always saw banking as my way to guarantee security for my future self and my family plus mum who I always want to protect.
Unfortunately, mental health issues that I have ignored or patched over with substance use have finally forced themselves to the surface and I have now been off work sick for 4 weeks. During this time I have received a referral for bipolar disorder, and in addition my doctor has stated I must see a psychiatrist to start counselling in the meantime.
I feel constant overwhelming guilt towards those who I have left in the lurch from this. As I quite literally did leave them in the lurch by disappearing from the desk on a random Tuesday. And I really want to know how this TRULY appears to my coworkers? I know that I need to take time to ensure I’m stable, but I really just want to know how any of you would view this if it was an Analyst on your team?
I am overall just terrified of what the future holds, and really want some input from
those with some more experience on how this will leave me :)
Fundamentally (unless you work with psychopaths) from a work perspective people want to see you healthy, as then you can turn up to work and be the best version of yourself for your job and do well for yourself and other people. I know it's hard and you can get caught up worrying that people are all dickheads but from a job perspective, you should take the time to really get yourself on a more even keel mentally and ensure that you are able to do that (and iirc it's very difficult to terminate you while on sick leave for mental health here in the UK).
Separately, on a personal level outside of work, you want to make sure you are looking after yourself, both physically and mentally, to make sure you can turn up for the people you care about and who care about you - taking the time (whether medication, psychiatry, whatever works) to be sure you can do that will also pay dividends for your personal life in the longer run.
I think it hinges on how you left the desk and what type of communication you now have with your boss.
If you let the team know you were not feeling well and have been letting your boss know your timetable for getting help, you should be ok.
If you just bounced on a random Tuesday and have been incommunicado, that doesn’t bode well for your return.
Just keep an open line of communication with your boss and take advantage of any medical benefits and leave your company offers.
If it is a typical finance boss, you’ve likely burned up any good will and when you get back it might be awkward while they look for ways to fire you, but on the flip side you’re mental health will now be fixed and you can secure a new analyst gig somewhere else.
Look man money cures almost all ills. I’m not going to lie, it def makes life way smoother. But nothing is more important than health (and family). Better to fix yourself now at the cost of starting your career slowly, then ignore your health and you make more money in the short term but are miserable in the long term.
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