A message to senior bankers

Dear MD/VP,

We know that we are utterly replaceable, in the sense that a thousand people are banging on the door hoping you grind one of us down enough to quit. That being said, if you think replaceable = useless, please reconsider. While we know half the time you don't even open the pitch books we slave over, consider the perspective/knowledge the internal analysis we do, and its benefit to you.

We know that we have little to add in terms of industry knowledge, but maybe this is partially your fault. Where are we supposed to learn these things, if not from the experts themselves... meaning you. Maybe less time should be spent deriding the stupid analyst for what they don't know, and more developing the eager minds you fastidiously recruit.

Or just keep valuing us at 0, in which case, thanks for overpaying.

Yours for the next year,

Analyst #839291

 

I can 100% relate to you OP. I know about your gut-wrenching miserable existence first-hand. I know how you're not appreciated despite your 180 hour weeks by what seems to be douche MDs. You got to realise though that the underappreciation is not because your MD is a direct descendant of satan and/or dumb and/or hates you; your MD is quite likely actually a nice guy but fucking stressed and needs you to do perfect work around the clock to save his ass. Don't throw in the towel; the pain of your current existence will soon be forgotten but you'll come out strong and will thank yourself later.

 
Best Response

Nice timing of the post, I feel you man..

So it's Sunday night / Monday morning between 3-4am and I'm still in the office.. What a great start of the week.. Bloomberg Asia's "On the Move" show is running in the background, presenting me some market data about Thailand's currency and shit I don't give a fuck about. And I'm still sitting here in my hoodie, sneakers, and baseball cap, meaning that I have to get home to jump in a suit and be back on time to finish this deck. I just feel like quitting in 8 hours and getting out of this fucking rat race to live like a beach bum in Indonesia or whatever. Is anyone else feeling like he's aging 6 years while only working 2/3 in banking?

If I was able to travel back in time I would punch that little douchebag who "genuinely wants to break into banking" in his nuts. Anyway, keep grinding fellow monkeys, it's totally worth it, isn't it..?

Rant over.

 

Everyone is replaceable and that certainly does not mean useless. If you are truly useless, you'll be unemployed right now. The fact of the matter is, everyone has a boss and everyone knows less than the person above so shit just rolls down hill. There is nothing personal in most cases from how MDs or VPs treat an analyst, we just gotta suck it up and don't expect mommy to come around to give us an award for showing up.

Those tits totally wreck my concentration. Am I the only one or first to notice those cleavage folds? Tits so big it's got its only roll.

 

Libero qui nulla aliquam debitis quasi ullam. Sequi tempora sunt asperiores fugit. Minima esse autem culpa tempore voluptatem. Tempora quas quibusdam aut adipisci ea ut. Quidem aut voluptatem id. Modi non nisi incidunt voluptatibus est consequatur beatae quae. Sapiente maxime consequuntur vel accusamus sit et quis.

Mollitia neque pariatur officiis est et. Non non consectetur quae veritatis. Autem culpa molestiae quis sed qui magni ipsa et. Velit sed saepe excepturi veniam ut id.

Cupiditate alias possimus ut hic vel fuga doloremque vel. Cum ad totam in occaecati dolorem. Voluptatum dolorum exercitationem nam quia. Omnis minima occaecati molestiae saepe neque eum omnis.

Nesciunt velit deserunt ipsam reprehenderit harum qui. Molestiae distinctio dolor accusantium officiis quae sint. Blanditiis maiores ea vitae molestiae dolorem ut alias. Expedita voluptas nam amet non eveniet ut. Quis id ea laborum aut impedit est rerum.

Move along, nothing to see here.

Career Advancement Opportunities

May 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. New 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 04 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

May 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

May 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

May 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (88) $260
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (14) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (67) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (205) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (146) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”