Advice for my email template

Went through the search function and tried to whip one up after looking at all the feedback. Any advice is appreciated.

Hi Name,

My name is [my name], a sophomore finance major at school who is very interested in a career in investment banking. I noticed you attended school as well and was hoping we could set up a time to speak briefly about your experience so far in the [insert] team at bank. I would also love to learn about your time [insert].

I know you must be busy, so I appreciate any time you can spare. Thank you in advance, and I have attached my resume for your consideration.

Regards,

[my name]

2 Comments
 

Based on the most helpful WSO content, here are a few pointers to enhance your email template:

  1. Personalization: It's great that you're personalizing the email with the recipient's name and referencing their alma mater. This can help establish a connection. However, try to add a bit more personalization if possible. For example, if you know of a specific deal or project they've worked on, mentioning this can show you've done your homework.

  2. Purpose of the Email: Clearly state the purpose of your email early on. You're looking to learn about their experience, but also be clear that you're seeking advice on how to navigate a career in investment banking.

  3. Value Proposition: While you've attached your resume, it's also important to briefly mention what you bring to the table. Highlight any relevant coursework, projects, or clubs that demonstrate your commitment to finance and investment banking.

  4. Brevity: Keep the email concise. Busy professionals appreciate brevity, and being able to communicate effectively and efficiently is a valued skill in the industry.

  5. Call to Action: You've asked for a brief conversation, which is good. Be more specific about the time commitment you're asking for, such as a 15-20 minute chat, and offer flexibility in scheduling.

  6. Professionalism: Ensure that your email maintains a professional tone throughout. Avoid any casual language and keep the focus on your interest in their professional experience and the industry.

Here's a revised version of your template:

Hi Name,

I hope this message finds you well. My name is [My Name], a sophomore finance major at school. I am reaching out because I am very interested in pursuing a career in investment banking and noticed that you are a distinguished alumnus of school working in the [Insert] team at bank.

I would greatly value the opportunity to learn from your experiences, particularly your role in [Insert Specific Project/Team, if known]. Your insights would be incredibly helpful as I navigate my career path.

Understanding your busy schedule, I would be grateful for a brief 15-20 minute conversation at your convenience. I have attached my resume for your reference, highlighting my dedication to finance through [Insert a Key Experience/Project].

Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to the possibility of speaking with you.

Warm regards,

[My Name]

Remember, the key is to be respectful of their time, show genuine interest, and make it as easy as possible for them to say yes to a conversation. Good luck!

Sources: https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forum/job-search/cold-emailing-to-ask-for-internship-template-advice?customgpt=1, Want to get me on the phone? Here's how - a networking overview., Cold Call Email Mistake Made - Sharing Response (Advice) Received, 13 Networking Tips and Tricks, Tips to crank out work really fast

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