Dear investment bankers: Would you befriend me? (advice needed, please)
I am really debating myself whether IB is a suitable career path for me. I love the idea of working hard, learning 24/7, and using every bit of my neurons to produce high quality works that may help my firm win that lucrative deal. I am a technical guy with solid finance knowledge, some decent excel tricks and programming skills. However, I feel like I don't have the other things that will fit me into the culture of an IB. The following concerns are the blockers that are stopping me from going 100% (even 70%) at current opportunities to break into IB:
I can have a beer here and there but I am not an experienced drinker. It's embarrassing to admit that I have never been drunk before. While hanging out with friends, I am always that guy who only has a pint of beer or one shot and that's it. It's not that getting drunk is evil. I just don't want to lose control and have a hangover the next day. My friends actually like me for this because I can drive them home later (yay!...). However, I don't think it will really benefit me in terms of getting along with my future IB colleagues who probably like drinking a lot. What's worst? I don't know how to party...
I can network well at a professional level but I suck when it comes to small talks, buddy talks, and locker-talk type of things. It puts me down sometimes to hang out with friends/alumni who are bankers and most of the things they talk about are expensive suits, Cuban cigars, and girls. I respect these topics of conversation. They are just... not me.
I am probably the most honest and no-game persons you ever know. I am not skilled at relationship/workplace's politics like most IBankers are. As a result, I am not sure if I will be able to stand the associates or directors at IB who like to give people like me a hard time because they think I'm a joke. It looks like I will be a sheep among wolves.
As sad as it sounds, I hope my concerns are just blown out of proportion by my fragile mind. In the past 2 years, I have tried to work on those 3 things to bring me more in line with the 'standards'. However, I know they don't represent who I truly am. I'm trying to fake it but haven't made it yet. My friends know I'm interested in IB but maybe they are too polite to tell me I'm not a good fit for it.
I know there are many investment bankers and people in the industry on this forum. What do you think about somebody like me? Would you see me as a candidate for being a friend/colleague/chai wallah?
I honestly think some of your concerns are overboard and stereotype-based. Plenty of groups within firms and people who work in finance who are like you. Yes there will prob be people who fit your stereotypical image but that's an extreme and there are also people on the other extreme like asian nerds who came from top schools and went in finance. U shud go out and meet bankers in person or through social media and u'll realize people are just people and there is a fair amount of diversity. People on WSO (myself included sometimes) act a certain way that may reinforce the stereotype - it's just sarcasm a lot of times so don't take the vibe u get from WSO as real life.
Don't fake anything, be yourself. Maybe drinking more would bring out a more intriguing and fun side. Anyways, I'm sure you would be a great friend/colleague/etc, but sometimes you gotta let loose. Some of your colleagues may be stressed and talking about work or some random shit is the least of their concerns. They want to talk about things that turns them on (expensive suits, cigars, and girls). Read up on this book "How to win friends and influence people". It's a great read and you will learn a lot.
jesus christ