Getting broken up with is paradise

Your long term girlfriend (2 years) has just broken up with you after a year of hearing you talk to her about EB>BB and why IB is vastly superior to SWE. The final straw for her was when you told her you had a informational interview with someone called "Pussy Galore".

A day later, your college roommate saw her making out and go home together with John from Pike at your shitty university club. You say "No matter, she'll regret it. John at most will be working in advisory at KPMG. I should be able to pull any girl I want based on my LinkedIn title alone (Incoming Summer Analyst at Lazard)".

A week after crying yourself to sleep every night, you finally decide to download hinge to try and get some play. After uploading your pictures, you crack a small smile as you add to the occupation section "Incoming Summer Analyst at Lazard" then go to sleep .You wake up excited and think to yourself how many girls from ZTA liked your profile. You only count 2 (non ZTA). To your shock, both are at least 40 pounds overweight. You can't believe it, you contact Hinge customer support and suspect that the algorithm is at fault here. They say it isn't. You delete your hinge account.

As the day goes on, your phone starts to blow up and it's Instagram. Everyone from your investment banking club is tagging you in a post from wallstreetintern, someone sent in your hinge account. The pic shows "incoming summer analyst at Lazard & the caption "caption this" you thought it would be fire to use your LinkedIn acceptance so you did, in hindsight it may have been hardo.

As your about to delete your Instagram account to get away from the embarrassment, you check Mark Morans story and he even reposted it. You quickly come to the realize that an exit to equity animal is in danger, you delete your LinkedIn to avoid any further harm.

Getting broken up with is paradise.

Comments (17)

Most Helpful
kissmyass, what's your opinion? Comment below:

A rare gem on this forum

  • 19
  • Intern in IB - Restr

based on real story?

Icahnic, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Coffee chat with Pussy Galore hhahahahahahahaahhahaha amazing

  • Intern in ER

Quality of these posts have defo gone down over the years as imitators try to copy the OG's writing style. Interesting case study of mediocre competition

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A

Strong correlation to who's getting offers now. Everyone knows the bright kids become tik tok millionaires

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A

It's just the virgin in ER, thinks he could write it better. Tbf I half assed it between sets

  • 1
  • Intern in IB - Gen

Officia quibusdam autem cumque sint ut deleniti. Eius quia atque id. Autem dolorem modi quia dolor dolores. Dolore ut pariatur laudantium minima sunt aperiam. Sunt corrupti dolorum et voluptatem. Ullam reprehenderit praesentium possimus molestiae exercitationem et. Animi beatae voluptatem veritatis neque accusantium non quidem.

Start Discussion

Career Advancement Opportunities

May 2023 Investment Banking

  • Lincoln International (▲01) 99.6%
  • Jefferies & Company (▽01) 99.1%
  • Financial Technology Partners (= =) 98.7%
  • William Blair (▲11) 98.2%
  • Lazard Freres (+ +) 97.8%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

May 2023 Investment Banking

  • William Blair (▲04) 99.5%
  • Lincoln International (▲11) 99.1%
  • Canaccord Genuity (▲18) 98.6%
  • Stephens Inc (▲12) 98.2%
  • Financial Technology Partners (▲09) 97.7%

Professional Growth Opportunities

May 2023 Investment Banking

  • Lincoln International (▲01) 99.5%
  • Financial Technology Partners (▲06) 99.1%
  • Jefferies & Company (▽02) 98.6%
  • Lazard Freres (▲15) 98.2%
  • UBS AG (▲19) 97.7%

Total Avg Compensation

May 2023 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (6) $592
  • Vice President (32) $396
  • Associates (148) $260
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (11) $198
  • 1st Year Analyst (279) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (91) $170
  • Intern/Summer Associate (46) $166
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (206) $93