IB midlife crisis at 23… please help
Hi guys, just finished up my first year at a NY BB, got my bonus, and plan to quit.
I received the offer to be promoted to associate summer 2024. It seems absolutely crazy I will be making $300k+ at 23, but I am beyond miserable.
I literally feel like my past year in banking was an anxious and stress ridden blur. I woke up everyday nauseous and wanting to cry, the stress was just unbearable. Nothing at all to look forward to (Most saturdays and sundays at my firm were full work days) Maybe I am just a pussy I dont know.
I guess the point is I want to quit and never look back but feel weird giving up this seat that so so so many people want and I should be lucky to have.
any thoughts? 0 interest in PE or HF due to stress.
No job is worth the stress and you already mentioned not wanting to go the PE/HF, which is one of the big reasons people get into IB.
Even if its only a year, future roles will respect that you have that on your resume.
Best of luck!
Somehow can't put together that someone who hates their job and is close to a mental breakdown / crying can at the same time be promoted fast track to associate in banking?
The people who I know who had fast careers in banking/law/consulting seemed just natural overachievers, particularly unfazed by stress and also with a much higher pain threshold in terms of sleep deprivation/pushing through etc.
mix of good personality (i am not impressive technically) and that like 60% of my analyst class already left after 1 year - so felt like they needed bodies and just gave me verbal promotion offer
OPs username gives some insight
lol
I think high performers can also have massive amounts of stress that can be detrimental to their health.
Indeed. Many executives croak in their 50s for this reason
If you're crushing it in IB (evident by them wanting to promote you), you will absolutely crush it anywhere else.
yeah, but crashing it in corp fin for example can be rewarded by just $90k with no promotions. the industries where crashing it pays off (IB, PE, HF, Consulting) are stressful industries.
as someone who is older than you, the compensation is not worth the stress and misery you described just now. It's just not worth it. I'm sure you'll do great in other fields - think hard about what you are interested in and begin networking in those sub-fields. there are plenty of finance roles that have 40-55 hours and limited weekend work
Congrats on the offer, great to be in good-standing with your bank in this market.
While it might not be an obvious answer, the question is a really simple trade-off. Do you value the money or your sanity?
I have no judgement on anyone making the decision one way or the other, it's simply something you'll have to figure out for yourself. I won't try to influence you to either option, but I will say that when I was faced with this choice I chose to leave.
There are a few factors that I can pinpoint, and with the benefit of hindsight, that led me to the decision:
Anyway, there is probably other points I'm forgetting but those were some of the key things that drove my decision and maybe it will help you think through yours. Be thoughtful but don't kill yourself overthinking it. You're 23 with a massive career in front of you. Good luck
Slow day?
no good deed goes unpunished. smh
Just trying to help out. As an aside, your "is paradise" post inspired me to attempt one of my own (i.e. it was so bad that I wanted to restore respect to the genre)
Have a nice weekend!
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I'm an AN1 now, 23 as well. It's good money, but how I've been thinking about it is in the even slightly larger picture, we are still very much worker bees. And there are other worker bees with much easier lives making the same or more money. You're only in your early 20s once, do you want to look back at this period once you're old and just remember it as a period of being miserable? Do something you enjoy more and take chances. You can do great things, making it this far already proves that. I'm just using this to get the name on my resume and learn and I'll be out and on to something better in not too long.
I also have 0 interest in PE/HF, if I'm gonna take on this much stress for the longer term it's not going to be a % of points in some firm that doesn't care about me. Much rather be part of something entrepreneurial at that point.
What bank
You need to prioritise your mental and physical health above everything, so please take that as the context here. However, just one additional point to add to many of the good ones above. As someone who has been a staffer, we need to hear this - we don't have 20-20 vision and have our own projects (and lives) to manage, so might not know how bad you're hurting.
You have nothing to lose (as you're thinking about quitting anyway), so it might be worth having a conversation with your staffer or team head about this - depending on your team culture, they might try really hard to make things better (you seem to be in good standing with your team). At the very least, they'll at least appreciate that you made an attempt to ask for help and didn't resign unannounced.
For what it's worth, when I went through my own "I have nothing to lose as I'm thinking of getting out", my performance improved massively. I took more risks (e.g. sharing deal ideas or speaking up in meetings) and was happier (the stress fell away at least to a degree).
Hey I just saw your midlife crisis post lmao
Honestly I’d just say u definitely shouldn’t close the door to pe hf etc without at least seeing what u can find out there. Maybe no mega funds , but u can find plenty of smaller shops with a better work/life balance
Ur def not a pussy if Saturday and Sunday are full work days that’s simply not what the human body’s built for.
Even in moderately Fucked economy u should still be able to find opportunities given your experience. Nyc is poison , just think “where in the USA do I wanna live” then move there. Lots of shops in Miami, la, Ct, wy etc with much chiller cultures and similar money in. Cheaper places that aren’t polluted to the tits
Like where
are you planning to die at 46?
Felt the same at a PE and quit with nothing lined up. I will be ramping up my job search from Sept.
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