Is being extremely hard on yourself the standard?
I don’t think about these things often until I’m told by family or friends, but I think partially due to my nature and surroundings I’ve just grown very hard on myself always. Whether it’s work, my fitness and diet, style, personality, etc I am just acutely aware of all the details and it fuels growth I believe but takes away from my presence in the moment. Sometimes I’ll force myself to go somewhere or try something brand new to break my habits and in those moments I feel relief from this.
Sounds pretty neurotic to me. This mindset is foolish, you can have goals and discipline while having a kind attitude towards yourself.
Being extremely hard on yourself is not uncommon, but it’s not necessarily the standard or the healthiest approach. Based on the most helpful WSO content, this tendency often stems from high personal standards, perfectionism, or a hypercritical mindset. While it can fuel growth and improvement, it can also lead to significant downsides, such as stress, lack of presence, and diminished self-compassion.
Here are some insights and strategies to consider:
Balance is Key: High standards are not inherently bad, but they become detrimental when the cons outweigh the pros. As noted in WSO discussions, traits like perfectionism and rigid rules can help achieve success but can harm your mental health, relationships, and overall satisfaction if not balanced.
Practice Self-Compassion: Kristin Neff’s concept of self-compassion, highlighted in WSO threads, emphasizes treating yourself kindly, especially when you fail or make mistakes. It’s about recognizing that failure is natural and doesn’t diminish your worth.
Be Present: Your awareness of details and drive for growth are strengths, but they shouldn’t come at the cost of living in the moment. As you’ve experienced, trying new things or breaking habits can provide relief and help you reconnect with the present.
Reflect and Adjust: Regular reflection can help you identify whether your high standards are serving you or causing harm. As one WSO contributor mentioned, introspection and questioning your assumptions can lead to faster personal growth and a healthier mindset.
Humor and Perspective: A sense of humor, even in tough times, can help you see challenges in a less daunting light. Appreciating the little things and keeping perspective, as suggested in WSO lessons, can also help you stay grounded.
Ultimately, it’s about finding a balance between striving for improvement and accepting yourself as you are. Growth is important, but so is self-love and enjoying the journey.
Sources: Selfish Ask for Help in Situation, Lessons Learned., How To Talk To Anyone, Selfish Ask for Help in Situation, Lessons Learned.
Del
Please let this be satire
Not the poster, but I relate to your struggle of being super hard on you to where it's detrimental rather than beneficial. Trying fix it every time I catch myself though, since it does affect my qol
it's necessary in early stages of life if you don't come from wealth and want a good life
Echo this, OP feel free to PM and discuss. But have felt this all my life / still to this day but better than before (post ~4 years out of banking) and after a good bit of inner work realized it stems from exactly this. Although "success" and money is nice (although sometimes you feel as if you deserve it), it takes time and effort for your inner child and psyche to realize that, but happy to elaborate more on my journey on finding a greater degree of peace and balance
Mind if I PM you to hear about your journey, Mr.MnlGuy?
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