Rough Breakup
Hey folks, broke up with my first serious girlfriend about a year ago. We dated for about a year and a half and had a fairly serious relationship with a messy breakup. (my fault, was fucking around in cabo) We've been talking again lately, and while my life has changed drastically and I now have responsibilities/ a lot to do, she doesn't and she really hasn't been respecting the small amount of time I have to myself that I give her. Talking to her has really been messing with me, and it's making it difficult to work as a result. Do I try to continue talking to her and just detach from it? This is what I want to do, but I'm not sure if long term it may be better to let sleeping dogs lie and just get back to healing from it even if I really have a lot of love for her.
It sounds like you're in a tough spot, and based on the most helpful WSO content, here's some advice to consider:
Prioritize Your Mental Health: If talking to her is negatively impacting your ability to work and focus, it might be a sign that continuing communication is doing more harm than good. Healing from a breakup often requires space and time to process emotions without reopening old wounds.
Set Boundaries: If you decide to keep talking to her, it's crucial to establish clear boundaries. Let her know about your limited availability and the importance of respecting your time. If she can't respect those boundaries, it may be a sign that continuing communication isn't healthy for you.
Focus on Healing: Many WSO threads emphasize the importance of actively engaging in activities that promote healing. Rebuild your social network, reconnect with friends and family, and invest in hobbies or physical activities that bring you joy. This can help you regain a sense of balance and control.
Consider Letting Go: While it’s clear you still have feelings for her, sometimes the best way to move forward is to let go. As one WSO user put it, "Use the good parts of your life and the people you love to help keep you going and stay motivated in keeping yourself up." Detaching from the situation might allow you to focus on your growth and responsibilities without the emotional toll.
Seek Professional Support: If you're struggling to navigate these emotions, consider speaking with a counselor or therapist. They can provide a neutral perspective and tools to help you manage the situation effectively.
Ultimately, the decision comes down to what will best support your long-term well-being. If continuing to talk to her is hindering your progress, it might be time to let sleeping dogs lie and focus on yourself.
Sources: Feels like every facet of my life has fallen apart this year, Dealing with a tough breakup while working in IB?, Selfish Ask for Help in Situation, I met a girl and I don’t want to do this anymore
del
Democracy has spoken brother
Block her and come back to it later
Break it off - she deserves better.
that wasn't an option in the poll
I like to call myself an out of the box thinker...
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