Dealing with a tough breakup while working in IB?
Can anyone share their experience of dealing with a hard breakup while working in this job?
Recently got out of a long term relationship and am feeling really shitty and in a pretty dark place. I think getting crushed by this job the past few months not only is making it worse now, but honestly had a big impact on why the relationship ended (I felt like I just have no emotional capacity and everything outside of work exhausts me). Honestly I don’t really feel comfortable sharing this with anyone in my personal life and should probably see a counselor but I think this is towards the lowest I’ve ever felt. And then on top of that I lost the person I would normally be able to share these feelings with.
A few years behind you but experienced the exact same thing. Over a year removed from breakup, and it deadass could not have happened at a worse time in my life. Truly.
I've noticed that being bored and having little or nothing to do makes it much worse. It leaves me only thinking about her and what happened, and how lonely I am, as well as how much it sucks to be where I'm at now mentally compared to way back then with her.
If I was an IBD AN2, I would probably try to lateral to something more manageable in terms of WLB. You mention how the job has been crushing you since even before the breakup, and maybe this is a sign to take a step back and figure out if there's a change you can make that can substantially increase you mental health and put you in a better place.
Again, I'm a few years behind you but experienced a similar, extremely painful breakup, so I'm just trying to imagine what I would do if my breakup occurred in the same time period you're experiencing this in.
And your last sentence hits so hard man. I dealt with so much other shit this whole year and I didn't really have any other person in my life to find comfort in and comfortably share everything with. I obviously have my unbelievably amazing parents and some great friends, but I would tell her anything and everything, and I haven't been able to really pour myself out since then, which has been so difficult with all the other shit I've been having to deal with.
I completely understand how you feel man, I experienced the similar situation. Both got broken up with at horrible times, you in the midst of stressful analyst years, and me in the midst of the worst time in my life while in college.
I was in counseling for a bit immediately after the breakup because I really was on the edge, and it definitely helped. Again, it is still brutal on me and my mental health on a regular basis over a year later, but go get help. Make time for it somehow. It won't fix it all or make everything okay, but it will give you someone to confide in and get professional help from.
Good luck man, and hang in there. It's a horrible feeling, I know it, but use the good parts of your life and the people you love to help keep you going and stay motivated in keeping yourself up.
Currently dealing with this now and it is ruining me. Extreme anxiety, inability to sleep, complete loss of appetite and motivation to work out. I wake up borderline shaking every day with feelings of dread and unhappiness. I feel you brother, it fucking sucks.
Similar to you, I do not feel super close to any of my NYC relationships where I could share these feelings. I completely relate to missing the one person you can share this type of stuff with. Im completely lost. If you want to pm, would be willing to chat.
Seen all these breakup posts recently. Here's the advice I wish someone gave me when I was your age:
You need to be thankful it happened now rather than after divorce and losing half your net worth and losing custody of your kids. You need to have more confidence in yourself man... you're a young guy with a great job and will continue to earn well throughout your life. You don't need a woman to support you. You're in the top 1 percent of earners your age and will continue to earn well if you stick around in the industry.
When girls are in their 20s and teens, they tend to date around. They want to try to get the best for themselves, status wise and financially. Usually though, this doesn't end up happening, and most women need to compromise when they get into their late 20s or 30s. I doubt your ex is going to find a guy like you to COMMIT to her for the long term and marry her. The smart girls date guys with a lot of potential when they are young and stick with those guys for the long haul (they don't run away). Those are the girls who end up getting the best deal. The guys who do end up doing really well (7 figures +) later in life and who were single, they're in a different camp. They tend to not get married or only marry the girl if they have a secure pre-nup. These guys date on their own terms and command what they want when they hit their 30s. You should aim to be in this camp.
Don't sweat it man, enjoy life. Continue working on yourself, and make the best of life. Things get easier as a guy as you get older.
And even if she finds better, there's so many women out there who would be happy to be with you and stick around with you for the long haul.