IU vs. Wharton for Undergrad
Ok so basically I'm an eighth-grader attending a target high school next fall (think Choate/Exeter/Phillips) and I'm dead set on banking. I grind out the BIWS 400 Techs during recess. I've already built valuation models such as A/D, DCF, LBO and spreading Comps for practice on the school computer (without a mouse), and I'm seeking advice on whether I should pursue Indiana University's Investment Banking Workshop or the Wharton School of Business.
While Wharton has the prestige factor, I think IU's IBW will make me a true freak in the sheets. I'm looking to place at a top shop (Lizard/Credit Swiss/Doytcha) and lateral to a MF.
Any insight is appreciated. Thanks.
watch these irony posts become unironic by 2035
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little intern? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class at Wharton, and I've been involved in numerous LBOs, IPOs, and M&A deals, with over $300 billion in transaction value. I am trained in advanced financial modeling and I'm the top rainmaker in the entire investment banking industry. You are nothing to me but just another cost synergy. I will out-negotiate you with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak, I am contacting my exclusive network of MDs across the USA and your LinkedIn profile is being traced right now, so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your bonus. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can build valuation models in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my HP12C calculator. Not only am I extensively trained in DCF and comps analysis, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Bloomberg Terminals and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the industry, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will rain synergies and accretion all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
this is the greatest reiteration of the Navy Seal copypasta i have ever seen
LOL absolute gold, +1
You're beyond fucked for any 2030 SA process. Should've been cold-calling analysts from your crib. Good luck ever breaking into the industry kiddo.
IU is paradise.
Congrats on Choate
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