Mom has Leukemia, Dad recently diagnosed with Stage 3 skin cancer
Hey everyone, I’m a SA and I’m making this post as a cry for help.
The other night I cried infront of my staffer because he asked me that I’ve been a little off recently. He didn’t yell at me or chew me out, he just asked what was going on and I just broke down.
Mom has been battling with cancer for the past 15 years, it’s been rough. Dad recently got diagnosed with Stage 3 skin cancer. I really don’t know what to do.
My parents are both in their late 50s and I don’t know if they will even still be around when my internship ends.
Everything has just accumulated and built up throughout the years and The bubble burst last night.
I’m thinking of quitting and flying back home go spend time with them, but this is not something they want me doing. My parents are very selfless, and will always look out for my interests over theirs, even if it means putting their life on the line.
I just don’t feel I can perform in this job with that constant thought, the possibility of getting a phone call one night at work and hearing that one of them has passed away.
Has anyone been in a similar situation where they just feel lost? I’m stressed out and emotionally vulnerable.
I’ve always thought of myself as a stoic, I rarely show emotion and can control myself, but last night just broke me.
I don’t know what to do and have lost motivation to just keep going. I want to take advantage of as much time as I can with my parents before their gone forever.
Any recommendations on how to handle the stress ?
So sorry to hear that. Goddamn terrible thing happen anytime, let alone when you're under the stress of being in banking, even as an intern.
I would personally take a deep breath and ask myself what I would regret the least 5, 10, 20 years down the line. Even if you drop this internship right now and it sets you back some time career-wise--maybe even a few years--I don't think that's as valuable as spending time with your parents right now. Just my two cents
Hope older/more experienced members voice their thoughts on this too
Hey bro, spend time with your parents dude. People will understand, everything will be ok. Prayers for you though.
Sounds like you already know what you want to do.. go spend time with your parents . Tell them you're serious about this and maybe consider looking for work near them after the summer or after next year for ex. I guess I'm telling you to literally forgot about your dreams and passions and whatever but man, it sounds like you know already but time with the parents is precious man, I could care less about an IBSA. All the best bro. Im sorry I can't offer more advice.
Edit : and fuck cancer.
Spend time with your parents. All the money in the world never bought a second of time.
Cant speak on this as someone with expertise, but if I were you I’d really want to go see my parents. Considering some banks are still hybrid and allow some days at home, I’d request for a fully remote continuation of the internship first and explain your circumstances. At worst you’ll get fired and get to spend the invaluable time with your parents (this IB SA stint won’t matter in 20 years when your career will be just fine) and at best you get to stay in IB, maybe lose a return offer but at least have experience to recruit for full time and get the time with your parents.
Why not speak to the staffer and get the internship deferred a year? Extend grad by a semester - take a gap semester and spend time with family.
Honestly nothing comes before family - specially your parents. You can always complete another internship but you won’t get the time you couldn’t spend with ur parents back. I would recommend you spend this time with ur parents to help them out.
I had a mom who got cancer and even with just one parent who was sick there was so much of work around the house and also a need to make sure your parent feels alright. Can’t imagine what it’s like with two of them being sick. Please take the time off and go spend it with your parents.
All the best and hope you can power through this.
Going to offer a different perspective here and say to keep the internship for now. Based on your own post, your Mom has been alive for 15 years and your dad being at Stage 3 has a higher chance of surviving than dying. That means they will probably be around for at least a few years but in and out of the hospital. Are you going to just remain unemployed and depend on already sickly people for money? You have to earn an income and while you should re-evaluate for FT whether a lower hour position like corp fin is better it makes little sense to throw something away that is only 10 weeks and will be extremely helpful for FT recruiting no matter which way things turn.
Cancer is a horrible disease because people die relatively slowly and the final weeks you can see their life slowly going away. People don’t just fall dead immediately and pass away so your fear about “the call” is irrational. Just tell the doctor or mom/dad to call you if things take a turn for the worst and then walk away from the internship immediately (even a partially completed internship will be good on the resume) and spend the final month or so with them. Remember that the scenario I outlined above is a worst case scenario - it is far from guaranteed this will occur.