Tweaking my networking cold email template

I just wanted to get some feedback on my template that I have created and have been using recently. The response rate has been eh, and I wanted to hear if there is any advice that I could use to improve it. Keep in mind the middle paragraph is tailored to the person I am reaching out to this is just the most recent. I am also doing this to recruit for FT roles after my SA stint. Thanks!

Hello [ First Name],

I am a junior studying [Major 1] and [Major 2] at [Your University], and I'm interested in the investment banking industry.

I am sure that you are quite busy, but if you have time in the coming weeks for a brief chat, I'd love to hear about your experience within the industry, particularly your time in the M&A groups at [Firm 1], [Firm 2], and [Firm 3].

Here are some times that work for me, but I'm happy to adjust to your schedule if these don't work for you:

• [Date 1] & [Date 2]: 8:00 AM – 4:00 PM [Time Zone]
• [Date 3] & [Date 4]: 9:00 AM – 3:00 PM [Time Zone]

I've also attached my resume to provide a little more background on myself. Thank you for your time!

Best,