Where can I learn the black arts of hostile takeovers?

Surveillance

I want to learn how to be at the helm of a secret organization that operates a series of fronts that takes over public companies against the will of executive management and the board of directors.

I'm willing to train for 10 years or longer. Where does one learn how to do this? Is there a black book of other arts in related disciplines I should also master before carving out my slice of the pie?

You'll need to learn Taoist sex magic first.

Have you seen statues of this guy, Lao Tse, in Chinese restaurants? http://i.imgur.com/iJTw7cX.jpg

Lao Tse was an ancient M&A genius, using the wu wei technique for hostile takeovers.

His forehead is massively swollen because he practised Taoist sex magic (房中術), specifically the art of mei fa jing ie refusing to reach climax* so as not to lose his manly essence ie his jing (精).

• Unless they were 14 year old virgins - see below

That essence would instead go to his forehead, hence the swelling.

Why avoid fa jing? Loss of jing leads to lower life energies.

How to restore you jing? Well, funny you should ask...

WikipediaSome Ming Dynasty Taoist sects believed that one way for men to achieve longevity or 'towards immortality' is by having intercourse with virgins, particularly young virgins. Taoist sexual books, such as the Hsuan wei Hshin ("Mental Images of the Mysteries and Subtleties of Sexual Techniques") and San Feng Tan Cheueh ("Zhang Sanfeng's Instructions in the Physiological Alchemy"), written, respectively, by Zhao Liangpi and Zhang Sanfeng (not to be confused with semi-mythical Zhang Sanfeng who lived in an earlier period), call the woman sexual partner ding (鼎) and recommend sex with premenarche virgins. Zhao Liangpi concludes that the ideal ding is a premenarche virgin just under 14 years of age and women older than 18 should be avoided. Zhang Sanfeng went further and divided ding into three ranks: the lowest rank, 21- to 25-year-old women; the middle rank, 16- to 20-year-old menstruating virgins; the highest rank, 14-year-old premenarche virgins.

tldr version - practice Taoist wu wei. Whereas most Wall Street wannabees would avoid the ding, you should seek out the ding. That inverted approach is very Taoist.

Once you've mastered this and have suitable girth in your forehead, send me a money order for US$500 and I'll send you the PDF bible to the black arts of M&A.