Is my cold email bad?

My cold email response rate is sitting at 5 - 7.5% Does anyone have any good examples of any follow up emails?

This is the script I use:

SUBJECT: (Target) Student Reaching Out

I am a sophomore from [location] interested in Investment Banking, specifically M&A. I admire your position and was wondering if you could jump on the phone with me for a quick 10-minute chat.

I am eager to learn about your experience at [Company Name], as well as any advice you may have. I would be happy to find a time that works best with your busy schedule.

 

In case it's helpful to provide more context on my background, I have attached my resume below.

Best regards,

(Name)

Comments (15)

2mo
alt est pirate, what's your opinion? Comment below:

this may be a bit of a time commitment, but when I was recruiting I spent hours looking into every persons background and highlighted them in the email. Something like, "I see you were a [position] at company previously, and would love to connect regarding your career path." In my experience, people LOVE it when you do a bit of research.

2mo
Cuzze, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Hi Mr. _____,

I am a fellow [school alumni, tennis player, Texan, basket weaver, etc.] interested in a career in investment banking... rest of your email here.

Would also recommend reaching out to more senior bankers who can actually make hiring decisions. 

2mo
georgetown_fella25, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I am a sophomore looking to get a sophomore summer internship at a regional boutique. I've emailed 29 people and only gotten 2 responses. I am seriously worried that I am going to exhaust all of my contacts and not get anything. My resume is quite good and as been complimented by the two MDs who responded.

I send this email from mon - thursday at 7:45am ish using scheduled send

Most Helpful
  • Associate 1 in PE - LBOs
2mo

I wouldn't send things in the morning. I woke up at 8:30ish during my banking stint and usually already had a bunch of client / angry VP emails when I woke up, so I'm usually just focused on dealing with that. If I'm up early because I'm at the gym, I also wouldn't respond to you.

Others may disagree but I'd send some time in the afternoon - you're more likely to catch me sitting around at my desk bored at 4pm, which definitely increases odds of a response

  • Intern in IB - Cov
2mo

Use this:

Hi Banker--

My name is Monkey and I am a sophomore at Target studying subject. I found your name on LinkedIn while doing some research about investment banking and I noticed you have something in common with me. I'm interested in careers in investment banking and I'd love an opportunity to learn more about your background. Would you be able to spare a few minutes to discuss your career and your experience at name of bank. I am available at the following times:

- Monday 6/9 anytime after 4PM ET

- Tuesday 6/10 from 10AM - 3PM

- Thursday 6/12 anytime after 3:30 PM

I know you're extremely busy so if none of these times work, I can be flexible. Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.

Best,

Monkey

2mo
HardestOfHardos, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Bro it sounds good on the surface but listing your available times in the first email is entitled as fuck. Automatic ignore in my book

  • Intern in IB - Cov
2mo

Everyone is different. There is no cold email that is universal enough to work on everyone. This one worked extremely well for me during recruiting and I'm FT at an EB now.

2mo
800-pound gorilla, what's your opinion? Comment below:

This is how to get ahead of the crowd

1. Download a free version of Apollo and you'll get a handful of free credits for emails.

2. Identify different roles at different companies you would want to work for.

3. Search for who manages that role (MFWIC) on LinkedIn.

4. Get their email using your free trial.

5. Cold email said managers using the following checklist:

  • Clickable subject line (3-4 words max)
  • 50-150 words in email body and avoid word vomit. Keep it short, keep it crispy.
  • Personalized Email
  • Verify email addresses (Zerobounce, Neverbounce, Findymail)
  • No attachments (put your LI profile in your email signature, your LI is your resume and should have a copy attached)
  • Check for grammatical errors
  • Send to 50 people a day max or else you risk getting blacklisted by your email service provider and falling into spam
  • Add some form of a soft CTA (Call to action) don't tell them your amazing and then leave them hanging 
     

P.S. [personalization that makes you relatable and shows you've done research on them]"

I promise you, it works.

It'll also put you ahead of the 200+ other applicants who are simply submitting their resume, crossing their fingers, and hoping for the best.

2mo
800-pound gorilla, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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