Is the grass greener or should I be more content?
I'm in an M&A team at a top "prestigious" EB, top ranked (bonuses well over 100% of base, well above market comp) and have a clear path to VP. My team has a great culture and I don't work particularly hard, probably typically 50 hours a week (yes this does ramp up some weeks to typical banking hours, but it is maybe one week every couple of months) - reasonable MDs above me and very competent juniors make it possible. I have significant freedom to manage my own time on my projects/staffings, for example, I'm frequently able to do things on weeknights and I don't remember the last time I had to cancel plans on a Friday night.
From an actual work product perspective, I feel like my work has a tangible impact, e.g. slides I write/draft are used as the final versions in books for CEOs of large cap businesses (>$20bn market cap) and on deals I'm trusted to lead and run key workstreams independently, acting as a VP with an MD above me.
To many people, both inside and outside finance, I have a dream job, where I am paid very well relative to hours worked. Having said that, I don't feel content. I failed to get an offer back when I recruited for private equity and cant help but feel like a failure, even though I knew I would work more and get paid less (wasn't targeting MFs).
In addition to feeling like I failed, I'm also worried about long term progression as the EB model is hire BB MDs, making it harder for homegrown MDs to compete. However, speaking to friends in PE, long term progression is also far from guaranteed with the 2 and out.
Friends in finance who know about my situation find it crazy that I would try to leave given the pay/hours worked, but wanted to hear WSOs thoughts on my situation and any advice
Uhhh so you’re an Associate at an EB and are pulling 50 hours a week? Sounds like you struck gold if that’s true. Why the hell would you even think about PE? College prospects have you brainwashed. Enjoy your time. The only thing you should be thinking about is if you want a even better WLB down the line in corporate or something, but you should be able to save enough here to not have to worry about another job for a while.
There isn’t an “endgame”. The sooner you realize that the happier you’ll be. What will being at the PE firm get you that you don’t have now? You said it yourself, less money and longer hours.
So what is the positive? Is the work that much more interesting (hint: if you aren’t content at an EB you most likely won’t be doing the PE work)? That’s probably not it, so how will your life be more fulfilling?
So if it isn’t the work, then is it just the “goal” and feeling like that’s the next logical step? I can promise you those won’t go away. Once you get into PE then you’ll think about progression within PE or start thinking about HF or something else, or worry about whether you’ll be partner or maybe you can run a portco. Etc.
There is always the next step, the next raise, the next thing to buy.
Rarely do I see people who are “content” because of their job, or the money they make or “respect” they receive. It’s usually the friends, family, experiences, etc.
Don’t get me wrong, finding a job you love is pretty important, especially if you spend lots of time at work. But you need to start with understanding what you want out of a job, what is currently missing, how you want your day to day to be, and not aiming for some random path that has been drilled into your head since you were a freshman.
I am married to a beautiful woman who is smart, fun, chill, and rich. Should I consider getting a divorce?
WSO needs to stop enabling pointless humblebrags like this
I stopped reading at 50 hours. You're basically indentured labour at this point and should alert the Occupational Health and Safety board to alert them to your inhumane conditions. Also, GTFO
It sounds like you yourself acknowledge that leaving wouldn’t actually be a smart decision, but you feel compelled to anyways. This thread seems like a way of confirming / double checking what you already knew - that you have it good and don’t need to leave.
Your real problem seems to be that you can’t get certain negative thoughts and feelings out of your head. This is a very real and common problem, and you should address it directly and strategically.
It sounds like you are really upset about having felt like you failed in recruiting for PE. However, you also likely recognize that these feelings are overblown. Recruiting is a very noisy and imprecise process (despite firms’ attempts to make you feel like it isn’t) so not getting an offer wasn’t necessarily an indication of your ability. And if it was, it was an indication of your ability to do what, exactly? Do well in PE interviews? Your success in your current job says far more about the abilities you probably actually care about than interview performance does.
However, knowing these things in the back of your head isn’t enough if negative thoughts are running through the front of your mind all day. What you might want to try is a practice called cognitive reframing. When negative thoughts come up, habitually remind yourself that they are distorted and overly negative, and bring to mind the evidence as to why that is the case. If you start to do this every time the negative thoughts arise, they will start to become habitually linked with the positive counter arguments and the negative emotion will become more manageable.
Or maybe cognitive reframing isn’t your thing. The point is, your problem is psychological in nature (which is normal) and you should look for psychological strategies to address it.
this forum is generally a bad place for that sort of advice because people will just troll you and try to make you feel bad for feeling bad.