Network Update

After getting an offer earlier this year, I thanked everyone who I spoke to along the way and let them know the good news. Now that it's been about 6 months, I was looking for some advice on sending the following update ahead of the holidays:

Hope you're enjoying the holidays. This past summer in Bank had its ups and downs but was an incredible experience. It really showed me how much I enjoy credit, so I'm taking a fixed-income class here at School. Would love to hear if there's anything new on your end!

Tbh it sounds too robotic and impersonal for my liking. Pointers?
 

1 Comments
 

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