Reneging due to Personal Reasons | Sticky situation
I've been recruiting for trading firms and received an offer in August from Company A for around 120K TC including bonus. I continued to recruit over the next few months because I figured I'd be able to land something better and eventually ended up landing something in the 230K TC range at Company B while still having another interview process going on at Company C. Company A found out because this product is incredibly small but they were dead set on having me.
Head of Trading stuck his neck out for me with HR and got my offer doubled and I said I'd take Company A, it sounds like it has the potential to have a pretty tough WLB, I'll be the only new junior joining the desk, there is no middle-level/mid-tier juniors i.e. associates, and I'll have a ton of responsibility early on. Company C is a direct competitor and was slow to initially get their process started but now has finished up. Company C has a dedicated graduate program, it will be an offer in London vs NYC, and overall sounds like it'll be a better fit for my personality, better fit for my mental health, and a better fit for long-term career goals. I have high potential to receive an offer here.
About a week ago, my dad, sister, and grandma were killed in a tragic car accident. I'm feeling incredibly lost but want to keep my professional career path established, but I am now very hesitant about Company A's culture, WLB, and to be fair I really just want to get out of the US and experience something new. It's very difficult for me to type this, I've essentially just lost more than half of my family and I am more worried about Company A acting vindictive towards me after putting the Head of Trading through I assume a difficult situation.
Given these personal reasons, how likely do you think it will negatively impact me to accept Company C who will most likely be able to beat Company A on the following - Comp, Career Fit, WLB, Culture, Location, and my new desire to get away from everything that's recently happened. They are direct competitors and Company C knows I have accepted A and was still insistent on pushing me through the rounds. Company A is excited for me to join, but at the end of the day they doubled my offer and are now paying me well above analyst level for an S&T focused role - I feel like they could easily attract talent more qualified than myself with the same pay.
In my head this is a very difficult situation because everything Company A has done for me, but Company C just seems like such a better fit at this point. I don't want to let Company A down, but I feel like if the environment I'm in there isn't conductive to growth I'm just going to be a poor performer, stressed out of my mind, and overpaid - most likely the first to be let go or kept there until they find a replacement. Any advice would be incredibly helpful.
I’d go w Company C. Mental health not something worth sacrificing for… especially for that marginal difference
I say go with Company C. In the corporate world, you should always prioritize your own needs over those of your employer. Yes, Company A did double your offer, but that’s only when you had another offer to show for. If you didn’t have another offer, there’s a good chance they wouldn’t care about meeting your needs. Additionally, if in your offer letter it states your employment is “at will,” then you or your employer can walk away from each other at any point in time with no reason or legal repercussions.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope everything works out.
I'm sorry for your loss. I think that right now is not the time to think about your offers but rather your family. You're talking about "getting away" but are there people around you that need you right now? Your mother? Staying home doesn't mean you have to take the local offer. Maybe you don't have to take any offer. If you truly care about your mental health then maybe taking a gap year is a good idea. I don't see the rush to pick any offer when, as you say, you just lost half you family. Focus on the other half of your family and go from there.
My mother has decided to move back with her family of 6+ in California and has told me multiple times that my dad would've wanted me to have a successful career. She has a loving and large family in California, kids to be around, and they're also able to support her. If I decline everything and take a gap year, I'd be sitting at home sad with her and I believe it would be a waste of a year especially knowing she has such a strong support network to rely on.
Additionally, I also want to continue my life as I just got engaged a month ago and do not want to put my fiance in the position to choose between sitting at home with me and my mom vs pursuing her own career. It's a very difficult situation but the best outcome is for me to choose one of these offers, continue and start my life with my future wife, and be emotionally available for my mom whenever she needs - although she is incredibly strong.
If my mom was alone or only had one sibling who was across the world she couldn't rely on then this would be a different story perhaps, but knowing she's about to go back to her family consisting of over 16 people, brothers, sisters, children, etc. makes it different.
Maybe I could defer, but it's already been so difficult to get these offers I don't want to go through the entire interview process again next year when I'm far less prepared and have to discuss this further as to why I took a gap year etc.
What happened to Company B? Sorry for your loss.
I ended up accepting company A's counter offer that beat company B.
Brutal situation, hope you're doing alright.
As for as the job is concerned, go with company C. In doing so frame it around your personal loss and wanting to be in a different city (really country) for a fresh start. Say the accident was the catalyst, which it sounds like it was. Only a psychopath would hold this against you regardless of whether or not the firm is a competitor. After all you're just some junior no one at this stage. At the end of the day all that really happened at company A is they lost some time, which really isn't a big deal.
If you feel comfortable sharing it with Company A, there is zero chance that they will hold it against you if you say that you want to leave the country for a while.
Business aside, really sorry for your loss man. To lose all 3 at once, can never imagine getting myself through that.
Hope you’re able to find peace and make the best decision for yourself. No amount of money is worth your health (I know firsthand). Best of luck to you, wishing you the best
Sorry for your loss, I think that the last thing that you need to do is putting anything ahead of your personal self care at this moment. Much force
Sorry for your lost man. I lost my mom in high school to terminal illness and knew it was coming. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose 3 immediate family members so suddenly. I hope you get the energy and support to power through this like a champion.
So sorry for your loss. You should perhaps consider grief counselling.
Would take Company C. Company A will get over it. Just word it diplomatically. Even just saying "Due to some sudden personal family reasons, at this time I want to go to London," is fine. (Be careful though as if Company A has an office in London they might not be above offering to transfer you there, so only say that if they don't have one!) Basically, find a reason they cannot match/compete with etc. and only renege after you have already accepted the other offer and be final about it so they don't keep countering and trying to change your mind.
As mooyi pointed out, A can counteroffer with London if they have an office there. Likewise, they can counteroffer with WLB, etc. So you need to be sure your reasons are sound or straight up decline to offer a reason. At any event, if you choose to decline A, you should get on the phone and face the music. The person at A went to bat for you, so you owe them a call. With that said, and while you have suffered severe personal loss, it does not look like you ever had an intention to join A since you continued to recruit. Not to be hard on you, but I fear it appears the personal loss is being used to justify the personal choice. I suggest you de-link the two and be upfront with A. Once you make your decision, consider requesting a delayed start. You should take some time-off to heal.
No this makes complete sense, you are not being hard on me because that is exactly what I’m doing here. Company C is where I want to end up and we’re I not in this situation perhaps Company A would be vindictive if I were to renege this late. If company C is where I want to end up I will 100% be pulling heart strings to make sure I don’t end up ruining my career to go to a better company.
I had initially been set on company A after their matched however continued the process with C since I figured my dad would’ve been proud of me were I to get an offer and the more I went through the process the more I realized how much better of a position this sounded like. If I do end up with an offer from C I will tell A this all was catalyzed but my situation. Additionally they don’t have a trading team in Europe yet so I think the European office is a fine reason.
The sticky situation the title refers to is under normal circumstances this would be grounds for blacklisting, tons of possible negative implications, and may impact my reputation. However, given the situation If I do end up going with C I don’t think they’ll do this to a 22 year old Junior who only has his mom left. I will definitely take your advice though and the person who stuck his neck out for me claimed to have been my friend and wanted the best for me so I think he and the other juniors will understand. I am using the situation as a crutch, however that situation as being the catalyst for wanting to get away from everything is true.
It went from me being interested in the best offer with the strongest team to now no longer caring about comp and even if C gets back to me and it's below A I still will most likely take C for less pressure and stress on me, a training program/analyst program, mentorship and guidance, more of a trader-focused firm, better office locations, and better intangible benefits. At the end of the day it started with wanting the best offer, and now I'll give up a significant amount of that monetary upside if needed to start my life with my fiancé, be able to set aside personal time for my health and to stay connected with my mom, etc.
The additional info helps better understand your thinking. Since you are keen on C for multiple reasons, you could try packaging this in a way that may make A happy. Explain that given your loss you are looking for a role that gives you WLB, and hint at more of the L than the W. It just might be possible A will see you as going through a troubled phase and needing to work fewer hours and decide it's better you do not join them. If you are not sure you can handle this with finesse, then just be polite but terse.
So sorry for your loss.
Holy shit I'm so sorry to hear that dude. I'm not going to tell you what you should do - please make the decision that feels right for you bc I can't imagine what you must be going through. My deepest condolences.
So sorry for your loss. Take some time to think about it. Given the situation, I’m sure company A will understand and appreciate the honesty of you tell them you’re going in a different direction. Any slightly empathetic person(s) should.
Quae dolorum exercitationem iste. Quibusdam aut facere voluptas temporibus facilis incidunt ratione. Fugiat facilis eius quod fuga dolores. Reiciendis harum et ut ut. Neque velit aut necessitatibus. Porro vel eum totam.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Autem dolor maiores veritatis odio corporis aut vel. Dicta est illum ut eum ratione debitis sit. Corporis fuga voluptas optio enim illum illo. Consectetur totam vero aut neque accusamus. Modi commodi soluta eos occaecati non nihil accusamus.
Corporis tempore doloremque reiciendis. Eaque aut reprehenderit dolores sequi eius. Ea odio ad provident maiores perferendis. Distinctio possimus consequatur dolores a.
Atque voluptate accusantium iste aspernatur voluptatum animi quam. Dolore qui et qui ab adipisci. Beatae veritatis placeat quaerat aut.