WOMEN, PLS ANSWER (men can also chime on your perspective)

Sophomore in uni! Recruiting for banking. 


I find myself naturally "vibing" more with women, but I can't always coffee chat women since a lot of higher ups (VPs, MDs) are men. There are DEFINITELY men that I also vibed with, sometimes better than the women I chat with, but USUALLY, on average, I don't know how to navigate a convo besides the standard how's your day, tmay, what's work like, doing anything interesting etc. With women, some of the convos I had were like about skincare, taylor swift, vacation spots, best restaurants and spas, our favourite rom coms, etc. It's just naturally easier for me. I mean there have been guys that I had amazing convos with but that's mostly because we come from the same country, talk about country politics, back home, culture, etc. But, most men in banking are not from my country. 


So I guess my question is for women in the same spot as me or even higher up, when you were coffee chatting, how did you make a lasting impression on the men you chatted with? 
And for the men that chat with women (bankers) and (aspiring bankers) or just female college students looking to apply for internships, how do those chats go and any memorable ones, how did they go?

 

Sounds like you're a female? It's fine to target women in the industry - and if you can't find any VP-MD women you are not looking hard enough, there are fewer of course but plenty to be sending emails to.

I think you're trying a bit too hard to find a personal connection. Most coffee chats don't get into personal topics at all, you should generally be asking about the group dynamic and the recruiting process and not personal questions (certainly not politics). If you do get a connection that is great, but you should not spend the whole time asking them personal, non-IB related stuff or prioritizing those topics over learning about the group and getting advice on breaking in. just network with men and ask them regular questions mostly about work.

 

Female in IB NYC here. My response to this is much longer but in short - you need to shift your mindset. In the world of business it is very important to be able to connect with all kinds of people and be personable. Networking is about connecting with others and selling yourself. Sometimes you naturally hit it off - that’s amazing and a nice to have. Other times you MUST flex the muscle of learning how to relate and create good conversations with people that you may have less in common with. It’s not easy but it is one of the most important skills you will learn. So focus on how to develop that skill and that you might not always enjoy the convo or it might not always come easily but that’s how you grow and learn how to connect with people outside your world. It will get easier with time and practice. The more you do this in real life by making friends with strangers and learning about other places and walks of life the easier it will be to relate. Get conformable being uncomfortable. Hope that helps.

 

You sound really cringe talking like this. Given your level of grammar, I find it difficult to comprehend how you even see the chance of getting coffee chats with VPs and MDs. You want to be successful? Stop complaining about gender and figure it out. Learn what men like maybe and talk with them about it? Lol.

 

I don’t do anything differently. I just show up bubbly and friendly and enthusiastic to learn from them. It’s worked well. I’m not going to start watching football or something to relate better.

 

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