How do I tell my friend to not accept his Northwestern Mutual Internship.

Hey everyone,

So, my friend Johnny (not his name) snagged what he thinks is the golden ticket to the chocolate factory—an internship offer from Northwestern Mutual. I'm over here trying to tell him it's more like a ticket to the House of Wax—it looks shiny on the outside but gets pretty sticky once you're in. He's dreaming of suits and ties, while I'm seeing more of a future in selling insurance to our high school mascot. How do I gently tell him he's about to become less of a financial advisor and more of a professional friendship tester?

The internet's buzzing with tales of these internships being a fast track to becoming the person even telemarketers avoid calling. And yet, Johnny's all in, ready to transform from our beloved beer pong champ into the guy who can't get a date because everyone fears they'll buy life insurance before dessert. I need to craft an intervention that's part TED Talk, part roast to save him from turning his LinkedIn into a graveyard of connections too scared to accept his requests.

What's the game plan, folks? Do we stage a mock intervention with charts showing the direct correlation between accepting this internship and the sudden disappearance of social life? Or do we go for the emotional angle, where I tell him every time he sells a policy, a fairy loses its wings? He is looking for ideas that hit the sweet spot between making him laugh and sparking an epiphany before he's deep into peddling policies to unsuspecting family pets.