A few people close to me have died and I am surprised some older people are mean
I am not here for pity or anything like that but I just had an observation.
Since I lost my mum and another of my dearest friends last year. This deep feeling of grief is always felt by me through my day to day, sometimes I drown it out but its always there and according to therapists, this is just how bereavement feels and I have made peace with it and the life I led in the "good old days", even though I'm still young.
What I noticed though is that this feeling of grief has led me to appreciate my youth, friends, family and strangers in a weirdly deep loving way.
My grief made me realize that we aren't here forever, for you atheists, I'm sure that isn't hard to stomach, and even for myself and others of this forum who are men of faith, this world is still temporary according to most religions including mine, so when you lose someone to death, when you are reconciled in the after life you would no longer be human anyway, you would be so much more than what you are now that it barely counts as a reunion if that makes sense, but thats by the point.
I feel so appreciative of everything around me and want to offer a shoulder to cry on for a lot of people just because of how shitty it is that this world IS temporary.
It then baffles me that some older people who have had more deaths in their lives and other tragedies than even me can be so mean to people, I mean, I don't see how someone who has gone through truly permanent painful losses can be so downright evil sometimes. That would just make me feel worse, at least now I show love where I can but to carry hate around in your heart after certain things have happened to you is strange to me. Things like racism and sexism being harbored around in the hearts of older people is odd.
The deaths I've been through have been sorta like I've been unfortunately given the wisdom/stoicism of a 100 year old man, but some 100 year old men can be real assholes, which is, I don't know how to explain it, like odd, they've passed through so much and are yet to realize how lucky we are to share certain moments of happiness with people. Yet some of them are deeply hateful racists, sexists, elitists etc
I know this is not the right forum and I don't know what I want to hear or what I am trying to say, I guess I am looking to hear your thoughts? Who knows, this was just an observation.
Thank you very much.