Becoming One Dimensional…
Anyone else feel themselves slowly becoming a hollow shell of themselves? Not unique to myself, I work from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed. Feel very out of touch from my friends that don’t work in finance. Can’t shake the feeling I’m becoming my job. No longer have time for my passions or interests (have forgot what those are at this point). Also just drained by the time the weekend comes around so even when I am socializing I’m a subdued version of myself. I’m charismatic enough to put on a fun persona, but can feel myself slowly losing the ability to make deeper connections like I used to. No longer curious in my friends. Also don’t have the stamina to be myself for extended periods. Anyone else feeling this? How’s it impacted yours relationship and dating?
I lost myself a long time ago brother, good luck.
We're all damned.
So everybody is becoming an NPC out here?
Or waking up that everyone else is an NPC. Hard to tell which is correct though!
SA starting FT next summer. Worried about this too bc a few days after finally leaving I felt like I had my energy and self back again. Tbh, I think if and when you get the chance to recover, take it fully and you'll be back to yourself again
can't remember who said it on this forum, but it was an OG that said
The worst thing about banking is that it makes you a mediocre person
as you have no time to do the things that made you brilliant enough to get the job
Real. Once you get what you want out of the experience, leave
For real man
One of the people I looked up to most in high school (valedictorian, great at sports, general good guy etc etc) quit the job - said it was destroying his life
Quit, moved cities, said fk the money and working a still busy job that pays way less but is way more interesting
Meanwhile I’m still here cause the pay is so compelling but it is such a slave mentality. If only we spent as much time and energy pursuing great things, or even normal things that actually interest and fulfil us, rather than this empty pursuit for money and prestige
Alas, safety, optionality, fear of failure keep us trapped. I hope we all find courage to get out
Cheers man, well said
Fr, I’m going through the motions on a daily basis. Honestly numbed by all of this.
Yes. I have a few solid friends and my family. However, this is likely a natural progression in life. You will find things you had the time to discuss are no longer worth it. In one part, if you’re answering a work related question to someone who is clueless on the subject matter then you will not have the motivation to get more than a level or two of depth, which means they won’t get why. This happens all the time particularly with economic related matters. Also, you eventually realize how fabricated much of people’s lives are. It’s a part of becoming content with your life and I think healthy.
You’ve described one of the most unhealthy parts of accommodation of your life to corporate conformity and you call it healthy lol?
It isn't.
It sounds like the only thing you actually talk about are "economic related matters." What you're finding is that very few people outside of Wall Street give a shit about complex financial issues, and that you have almost nothing to say on any other subject.
But I'm glad you've rationalized it!
I mean the reality is that you have to make sacrifices to have what you want. Nothing is free in this world. I had an extremely demanding job in a different field before and I had to sacrifice a lot (relationships, hobbies, family time, etc.) to be proficient. All difficult, prestigious, or high paying jobs come with sacrifice. The reality is, to achieve what you want, you have to be willing to bleed. Otherwise, it's seriously worth looking at doing something else (I am considering becoming a Walmart greeter, for example)
left at An2 for that exact reason - good luck man, hope it pans out
What did you leave to pursue and are you enjoying it?
been a while since i left > but went and did corp dev & then pivoted to a niche area of consulting and loving it :) (doing private consulting gigs too on the side)
main benefit was to my mental health, now i have a wife & kid i can spend a lot of time with wfh.. a business abroad and actual time to engage in my interests
Have folks found it to generally be better on the buy side or is that equally as difficult to not lose yourself, maintain relationships etc
Depends, UMM and MF PE are equally as bad and sometimes worse. From my understanding, credit and public markets are generally better as long as you stay away from distressed/special sits.
Now 18 months in the gig and i am feeling the exact same thing. My interactions with women, and frankly everybody else outside of finance, have only been going downhill since i started. Very similarly to OP, I'm still ok for the first few superficial interactions, but once passed that, i am struggling a lot now. All of this was definitely not an issue during university.
12-18 months was the inflection point for me. Broke up with my long term girlfriend, which I would attribute to lack of quality time and getting more and more bitter and adopting a level of arrogance that I think a lot of people in IB do. Some people might handle it better or are okay with these personality change, I could not. Friends in PE report it’s much the same. I switched to Corp Dev and people I know at corporates are generally happier and more balanced than those at banks. Maybe something for you to look into, but it’s always good to find your own path - just my personal anecdote.
Do what you love and love what you do.
If you aren’t having fun, move on to something that will make you have fun.
I only used to dabble in investing my time and money but it sure found me because I found a cause I can dedicate myself to. I happen to think it’s really fun meeting bunch of people and figuring out who’s a selfish asshole vs selfless saint who’s a bit naive but can really make a difference with the right people around them. I also really enjoy understanding technology, making them, and assessing how they could be shaped and shape things.
Investing might not be something I do 24/7 but more one of the tools I have at my disposal but I do enjoy using it as a great tool. Mostly I just enjoy what I think about 24/7 even if it doesn’t make money right now because if I keep at it it’ll one day pay some fat dividends.
Learn, have fun, and grow rich in mind and bank account.
Welcome to the financial services industry son!
Residency feels like this in a way
Your job does not have to be who you are.
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