Best way to handle an office dispute

Wondering how to approach this. Currently work at a tier 3.5 IB (HL/JEF/BGL) and I have some heat with a fellow analyst. He's always making fun of me for going to a second rate institution (Stanford/MIT) while he went to a Chad institution (ASU) he also makes fun of my weight (I'm 322 lbs). I'm wondering how I can get him to stop, should I just knock him out? Think tier 1.5 knockout (masvidal vs askren) I started taking tae kwon doe classes at a tier 2 gym. Also would it be best to do it in front of associates and up so that they see me as superior and promote me over him?

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