Better Things Mark Zuckerberg Could Have Done With $19B

I'll start:

a.) Buy each Facebook employee a seat on Branson's Virgin Galactic flight, almost 15 times over

b.) Buy almost all of the state of Iowa's debt

c.) Bailout Ukraine, then fly to Sochi and drink Stoli with Vladimir Putin while riding an elephant

d.) Match Stanford's 2013 endowment

19 Comments
 
jankynoname

Actual businesses with actual revenue and earnings that they could've bought: Waste Management, United Continental, Whole Foods, Chipotle, Nielsen, Wynn Resorts (almost)... or they coulda just taken a 60% equity stake in Twitter and completely monopolized the internets.

zomgs chipotle yes i agree seems like a massive waste of money
.
 

WhatsApp actually has huge profits. Just in case y'all didn't know.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

they charge Apple users .99c to download, Android users .99 yearly. No ads (and there won't be post acq). Saturated market as is..

"We don’t build services to make money; we make money to build better services” was no bullshit

Array
 

My buddy has it, they sell those sticker packs and the sell them by the fuck tons.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

^Really, no one I knows pays for WhatsAPP at the moment, and any tom, dick & harry whoi is a good coder will recreate this app.

 
wikileaks

^Really, no one I knows pays for WhatsAPP at the moment, and any tom, dick & harry whoi is a good coder will recreate this app.

450 million monthly active unique users, growing at a rate of 1 million per day. It's free for a year and then a 99c/year subscription. That's $450m yearly recurring revenue, growing extremely fast. I am not saying that gets you to a $19B valuation by any traditional metric, but it's absolutely not a business with "no actual revenue."

 

Buy the new york yankees 8 times.

Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
 
Best Response

Major companies worth less or slightly more.....

Activison-Blizzard – $13.9B Alcoa – $12.2B American Airlines – $12.3B Akamai – $10.9B AmerisourceBergen – $15.9 Blackstone Group – $17.8B Campbell Soup – $13.6 Chesapeake Energy – $17.2B Chipotle – $17.1B Citrix Systems – $10.7B Coach – $13.5B Consolidated Edison (ConEd) – $16.2B Discovery Communicatons – $19.1B Dr. Pepper Snapple Group – $10.2B Expedia -$10.2B The Gap – $19B Fidelity – $15.8B Harley-Davidson – $14.1B Hertz – $11.5B Icahn Enterprises -$13.1B The J.M. Smucker Company – $10B Kohl’s – $11.1B Kroger – $19.4 Loews – $17B Macy’s – $19.6B Marriott International – $15.4B Mattel – $12B MGM Resorts – $12.7 Monster Beverage – $12B Moody’s – $17.08B News Corp – $10.27B Nielsen – $17.6B Nordstrom – $11.4B Progressive – $14.3B Ralph Lauren – $14.2B Red Hat – $11.1B Royal Caribbean Cruises – $11.4B Ryanair – $15.5B Sherwin-Williams – $19.4B Southwest Airlines – $14.7B Starwood Hotels & Resorts – $14.9B Symantec – $14.4B TD Ameritrade – $18.4B The Carlyle Group – $11.1B Tiffany & Co. – $11.4B Tyson Foods – $13.1B Under Armour – $11.4B Whole Foods Market – $19.3B Workday – $17B Xerox – $13.2B

 
COYG

Major companies worth less or slightly more.....

Honestly, some really good targets in there that I could actually see having synergies with FB...
Currently: future neurologist, current psychotherapist Previously: investor relations (top consulting firm), M&A consulting (Big 4), M&A banking (MM)
 

This is hilarious ^_^

"Hold on a sec...you mean they made all this money without doing IB --> PE --> HBS --> PE --> God? How is this possible?!?!?!!??" - TheKing
 

Well it's a purchase that aligns with Facebook's missions/business strategy.. Although the valuation might not be there WhatsApp integrates nicely with Facebook. But I'm sure the general public and all of you sitting behind your computers are a lot more qualified in making these kinds of decisions.

 

lol @ us trying to understand the deal - as if we've ever owned a multi-billion dollar company before.

speed boost blaze
 

What makes this even more awesome is that it puts the Snapchat douche to shame.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

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