Coffee makes me SHIT (!!) , how to make it thru day

Coffee makes me shit. Like if I have two in a day it'll be like an explosion into the toilet. Also does anyone else flush after each bowel movement? I don't like to let the poop accumulate and then another piece hits the pile and splashes up so now you got shitty cheeks. Anyway:

But at the same time coffee helps you stay awake.

I also like to take like 15 minutes minimum on the toilet to make sure my ass and stomach is content in emptying themselves. 

So what do I do? How do I manage to reduce these diarrhea disaster explosions? 

Note: I am not sacrificing my shit time. I want to shit PROPERLY. I want to wipe and clean PROPERLY. 

19 Comments
 
infinity@finite

I guess caffeine pills might be a good solution for you 

Caffeine pills do the same thing. It is the caffeine in the coffee that makes you crap.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Man eat some vegetables and a yogurt every now and then. Eat some fiber. 
 

Coffee making you shit is normal but having blowouts like that isn’t. 

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 

I want to not shit that's the problem i don't like shitting at the office I like shitting at home where I can watch tiktoks and clean myself properly 

 

What good does that do, does it make it so i can shit just once in the morning before I go to the office and not have to worry about it again

 

Be careful about spending more than 10min on the shitter. You can develop an anal fissure which is when you get your anus sliced up due to prolonged exposure on the crapper. Over 15 min and you're in trouble.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Stop drinking coffee and do caffeine pouches.

"If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

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