Dealing with father’s possible false paternity test

Some woman is claiming she had a relationship with my dad 10 years ago, had a child - and that my dad falsified his identity pretending to be my uncle. I initially thought this was just a false story because she contacted me in the middle of the beginning of the pandemic (the day I tested positive). She’s wanting to do a paternity test, but I’m in a different country and my dad says it’s false and has no awareness of who she is. First she accused my uncle, and then found out that my dad impersonated being my uncle. 
 

Should I talk to a family lawyer about this to learn about my legal rights in this case, as a girl that potentially has a sister I never knew about? It’s caused me stress a year ago, but I let it go because some parts of the story didn’t add up. Now she contacted me a year later with the same story, and my uncle believes it’s probably true. I’m thinking of sending my uncle a 23andme kit so that he can get a sample of the child’s DNA. 
 

I told my brother about it and he’s like “you are invading his privacy. I don’t care if I have another sister or not. That’s not my business.” And then he was like - if you keep messaging me - I’ll put a restraining order on you. 
 

im just so WTF right now and literally felt I was going to pass out in the plane today. My dad has a history of lying and pretty much ruined my childhood… but my mom believes he’s telling the truth. My dad and mom both think the woman accusing my dad is a criminal and is trying to come illegally to the US. It’s driving me nuts and I don’t know what to do. I was supposed to come home relaxed, exciting for these networking events coming up, and catch ups I have with important people in the office - now I’m in the middle of a weird accusation. 

7 Comments
 
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I'd say absolutely talk to a lawyer. Even if this woman is telling the truth, there is definitely something extortionary about the whole thing. A lawyer will not only know how to proceed, but will also make the process easier.

Additionally, I'd take a deep breath. People get embroiled in crazy legal shit that has nothing to do with them all the time, it's an unfortunate part of life sometimes. Get the expert help and  let them handle it.

 
[Comment removed by mod team]
 

You are likely in the middle by choosing to respond to her. Does your brother do that? If the woman is not lying, and assuming she has the determination and resources, she can prove her claim. Even if she cannot prove her claim, she can be vindictive enough to publicize the issue. A lawyer cannot block a legit claim unless the woman can be coerced or persuaded.

If you think the woman may be speaking the truth, and it matters to you to know if you have a half-sister, then you should support her quest to prove her claim. If you think the woman lies, or you are least bothered about knowing whether or not you have a half-sister, then try to ignore her communications.

A lawyer's effectiveness depends on the legitimacy of her claim and the laws of the countries in this story. Given how you are reacting to this, a therapist may be more useful than a lawyer right now.

 

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