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Sure it can be done. But if you give a salary ultimatum you can't back down. If they refuse, you have to take the other offer.
How would you approach the convo though?
“Hey I got an offer from X for X comp. Can you match it? If not I’ll take that offer”
Seems impossible to do this without giving off threatening vibes and I don’t want to ruin my relationship with management.
Don't expect an out of cycle pay raise without ruffling some feathers. You can give an ultimatum or do it more passively like @cre says.
Appreciate the advice. What would you do in my shoes
I would gauge two things:
a) Company A's ability to pay
b) How much you like Company A
It sounds like you really like Company A and your current location. So I'd probably offer up a passive email to an executive at Company A about how well you perform there and request a raise. Mention you're considering another company and list the salary. If you can, meet the executive in person to drop the bomb. Don't go to your first line manager - seek out someone high up in the company for this conversation.
As for what I would do? I've been through a lot of negotiations and moved quite a bit, so what I would do if Company B offered $200K, I'd give an ultimatum to Company A to give me $250K and a title increase or I'm out. Sort of like a big FU, cause that's how I roll. A sort of win / win for me. If Company A accepts, you're now the boss. That's how you climb the corporate ladder.
I've made a mistake doing this before though. I gave the ultimatum to someone too low on the totem pole. I can't stress enough how important it is to go to an executive. Hopefully an exec you're friends with.
Just tell company 1 you have a higher offer from company 2. If it’s not the same role or same industry though, don’t be surprised if company 1 just tells you congratulations on the offer from company 2 and to take it.
You can certainly try but more often than not unless you're critically important/difficult to replace, they'll just smile and wave you out the door.
I am somewhat crucial to the team but this would put me at VP pay and I’m currently an associate
Are you in banking/PE? If that's the case no, you're realistically not crucial. Almost all ASOs are replaceable. That's not to say you don't have a tight relationship with your seniors who might not want to see you go. It's totally worth trying but just be fully prepared to take the other firm's offer.
You should just relocate unless the cost of relocating renders this a moot point
Personal / family reasons not wanting to relo
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