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Not my favorite strips for the two, but your threat really got to me and I simply had to post some.
http://www.amazingsuperpowers.com/2011/07/new-car-3/
http://www.explosm.net/comics/2514/
that wasn't a threat, just an idea for what you can do if you don't follow instructions...
Penny Arcade:
Some classic
And some newerish
Calvin and Hobbes:
Manipulating the system
Wish my mom had done this...
Transmogrified
Simple things
Aside from the ones already mentioned, Wulffmorgenthaler.
http://wulffmorgenthaler.com/2011/07/31/
http://www.theoatmeal.com :)
Calvin and Hobbes was awesome, but my favorite was 'The Far Side'.
http://theoccultsection.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/The-Far-Side-UFO…
http://www.htcracing.com/farside4.jpg
http://pamibe.com/wp-content/uploads/FarSideGod.jpg
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_S4ebFhTPnS0/S61nLKR0eoI/AAAAAAAADW0/Ovkw1vu7h…
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_9t1Of45QHd0/SlwW-bycfvI/AAAAAAAAIHw/vzLHX6oRl…
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