Feeling Very Lost...
Hi WSO,
I'm not too sure why I'm even posting this and am struggling to put into words how I'm feeling...I guess I feel as if I've lost all passion in my life. I'm graduating with an EE degree this December and have a great job lined up at a FAANG company with an annual TC higher than my whole family's income in the last decade, but honestly, I don't give a shit about it.
I've grinded so hard the past 5 years in university to get great internships from my mediocre school and before that all through high school working shit jobs, and despite having what I guess is as close to an optimal outcome as can be from this situation, I don't feel fulfilled or happy about it in the slightest.
I don't even know what I'm asking - I guess if anyone else has felt like this or has any tips on how to get out of a rut, I would really appreciate it.
Thanks.
I was reading an autobiography the other day and when the author asked his doctors about this kind of feeling in the seventies they recommended electroshock therapy. “It kind of reshuffles the deck.” Don’t think that’s necessarily what you’re going for. But it’s a good read and might take your mind off it for a day or two. Jay Parini’s “The Way of Jesus.”
So you're saying I should do DMT???
Thanks for the rec - I'll check it out.
take a break to find what truly makes you happy. I was living great just two years ago, lots of friends, gf, great family, loved my college but still unhappy. I spent time trying new things to find joy but never found what made me happy. stepped foot in the gym and found my happy place. gotta explore different activities, anything that truly makes you happy. No matter how great of a situation your in, finding that thing that makes you happy should be everyone’s priority
Appreciate the response...you know, now that you mention that, I think that's probably what has been fucking with my head - I've been lifting for many years now and had a pretty serious injury a year and a bit ago, and while all my strength etc has returned I still don't feel the same and literally am not- the gym used to be my thing, but now anything leg training related (favorite shit to train), I'm skittish about really pushing it still.
Thanks again.
It sounds like there are external factors beyond a job function that is weighing on you. A great job (which is sounds like you got) is always helpful in starting to feel fulfilled if it provides the resources, like money, to go out and do what you're passionate about. However, what I've seen from juniors and even colleagues in my career is that people made all the sacrifices to get to an IB/PE/Corp Dev/HF/etc. role and never really found what they are passionate about in life. Here's some advice I'll give you that I wish I could tell a younger version of myself:
A job doesn't matter. It is the way to make money, and that's it. People don't care about your job, except for the fact that it enables you to be financially secure and nothing more. The part of life that does matter is that you're happy with how things are going. If you feel like you have no passions in life, then go and try anything and everything you can get your hands on. Maybe you like sports, reading, hiking, kayaking, cooking, card games, videogames, or even Dungeons and Dragons idk. The point is that you obviously made a lot of sacrifices to get to the point where you're at today and it's time you take a step back and spend your free time to go experience life.
Also, don't compare your situation or happiness with someone else, that is always a recipe for disaster. There is always going to be someone smarter, better looking, richer, cooler job, happier than you...that's just the reality of the world. It's easier said than done, but don't give a shit about them. They have their own struggles and all you are going to see is what they let you see. We all have our down moments and that's when you just look internally at whatever makes you feel the happiest and throw yourself into that. When you're old and the clock is winding down, you're gonna wish you had more weekends doing whatever made you happy rather than spend time at work or comparing yourself to others.
I hope you start feeling better and find something you love in life to bring you out of your rut.
Hey Man,
I really appreciate your response and you're completely right, I've spent all my time the past several years with basically tunnel vision to get good internships, grades etc. I really buried the lede as what has really gotten to me is half of one of my feet had to be amputated after getting run over by a bicycle if you can believe it...and the gym has really been the only thing I've liked doing for years now, and while yeah I can still walk, squat, deadlift and no one can tell by looking at me, I think I just really miss being agile and athletic (in the movement sense, not strength sense)
Sorry to vent - but you're totally right, I need to find other shit to do that isn't a constant reminder of what I've lost.
Thanks again.
I have an idea of what you're going through and went through it myself not too long ago. Personally, I think you're finding the other aspects of your life aren't as fulfilled as you would like, it's kind of subconscious form of envy where you weigh the other aspects outside of your professional endeavours to others; those who go clubbing, have a close-knit group of friends; indulge in a hobby and have for years; have taken care of themselves physically/mentally through exercise, and so forth. This empty feeling is usually through cumulated neglect of those are aspects of life and that undue comparison.
My advice is to read some literature. Not necessarily in self-help, I think self-help is a bit of a buzz-word now adays, but read philosophical books in stoicism (Atomic Habits, The Obstacle is The Way), buddhism (I mostly look into short documentaries for this one), and alleviating mindset (Psychology: The New Mindset to Success, The 8 Faucets of Life, From Breath to Air).
Separating the Self From the Work
Some folks have identified themselves with their work, whether it be management consulting, investment banking, or another field altogether. However the professional life is one aspect of a larger picture.
There is an agreed upon philosophy that states that people in general derive value from eight faucets. These eight faucets have been redefined or stratified countless times in other forms.
Those eight faucets are:
When you feel burnt out or emotionally eroded, you're left with this hallow feeling, almost this indescrible angst in wanting to do something or change something, but unsure of what that is. The result of that, you've succeeded in your professional endeavour, you've differed joy thinking once I get x, I'll be happy, but having reached that threshold, your brain is looking for something to occupy your time with. Many analysts who've been in investment banking for 1-2 years to then take subbaticals or leave due to burn out feel as though they're shells of their former selves, for the past few years, 95% of their lives revolved around their work, and that was suddenly freed.
Reading the above literature, and taking incremental steps to indulge in new hobbies, or taking care of yourself physically or mentally will drastically improve your mindset and day-to-day mood.
Thank you very much for your reply bro - I was struggling to express how I've been feeling but I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head in your description. Going to start doing what you've recommended. Thanks again.
You are at one of several major turning points in your life. Turning points, even if good for you, can throw you out of whack. The turning point of moving on into true adulthood can be a tougher one, even if you think that’s not the issue - I can guarantee you it will affect you. Just keep marching on and grab the bull by its horns.
You may be a bit burnt out, it happens. While some kids are partying all summer with a lifetime of support behind them, you are working and trying to get to the end goal. Then you get to the end goal and you are burnt out and wondering where your youth has gone.
just keep going, it will work out and you’ll back and be amazed at everything you did
Veritatis dolor ipsam et. Vero provident esse delectus. Cumque alias officia consequatur est dicta perspiciatis. Maxime quaerat rerum dolor et facilis et magnam.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...