Girlfriend works in Big 4 Audit - Advice?
Serious question.
Been dating my girlfriend for about 2 years. She’s attractive, normal, good family, treats me well, etc. Only issue is she works in Big 4 audit.
I’m currently at an EB and planning to recruit for on cycle PE. At first I didn’t really care what she did, but the longer I’m in finance the more I’m starting to wonder if this is going to become a problem.
She keeps saying she works in finance, which honestly makes me really uncomfortable.
A few weeks ago we were at dinner with some friends and someone asked what we both do. I said investment banking. She said “we actually do pretty similar stuff", I nearly choked on my steak.
She spent last week checking whether a regional packaging company had correctly classified prepaid insurance, I'm a year into the job and I have $70 billion of transaction volume. These are not the same thing.
I think the worst part of the situation is that it's starting to affect us in the bedroom. I'm tired enough getting back home at 2 every night, and this has made everything so much worse. I'm from Canada and didn't realize how expensive ED medication was until I moved to the states.
The bigger concern is long-term trajectory. If I go MF PE / hedge fund and she’s still asking clients for PBC lists, does the relationship become too dilutive?
I’ve looked around at senior people in the industry and most seem to marry doctors, lawyers, consultants, PE women, family-office types, etc.
I don’t know any MD whose wife is sitting at a Holiday Inn in suburban Ohio testing inventory counts.
I genuinely love her, so I’m not trying to make an emotional decision here. But at some point I need to think about my positioning.
Would you:
A) Stay with her and hope she laterals into Deals Advisory / TAS
B) Give her 12 months to get into banking
C) Encourage an MBA and use that as a reset
D) Recruit on-cycle for a new girlfriend before associate promote
Would appreciate perspectives from anyone who has successfully maintained a relationship across a significant prestige differential.
Please no Big 4 cope in the comments.
Sounds like you have already made up your mind and that there are more underlying issues that you are not bringing up to the top. Forcing someone to pursue a career that they do not want to is only going to strain a relationship more, and is also messed up.
Big 4 audit is a great career all things considered. If she stays in it, then she will either be 1.) a partner which still will make good comp and will be able to have time for a family or 2.) she can exit to a corporate finance position and be on a CFO track at most places.
I want to see my significant other and I can barely do that enough managing my schedule. I could not fathom trying to have a date night while one of us gets whisked away by work half of the time. As I have got older, I have realized that I don't want to date someone who will not be there for our family and honestly, if banking got in the way I would get out as well. There are things more important than work and climbing the career ladder. Best of luck in what you choose to do.
I think OP is joking
Don’t listen to the guy above, go with option D
D
Send her my way OP, I'll take good care of her. Very good troll post btw will SB on recharge
I’m leaning towards C as something similar worked in my own relationship. When my girlfriend had to choose career/uni, she started rambling about becoming a nurse. Something about helping people in need or whatever. I stopped talking to her every time she brought it up. Eventually I got her into a STEM program and I can already feel how much more people respect me for dating someone with “brains”.
Once in while she brings it up how she is unhappy with her studies and has 0 interest in it. I just start ignoring her again when that happens. I suggest you try do that as well if your girlfriend is the same.
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