How far can I go in my finance career if I want a wife and family before 30?

A bunch of kids, a 5 bedroom house, collectible cars, bespoke suits, private school, and international vacations, all within what I assume is commuting distance to a major city, is something that will require at least $500K in household income in the modern age. That's assuming you also intend to retire. I guess you could make a lot less money and just work until you die, which plenty of people do.

Corp dev, unless you are running the shop or are very senior and toward the end of your career, likely will not afford you this. You either need to stay in IB (and not be present in your children's life) or temper your expectations out of life and raise your kids more like your parents did. You're trying to have it all, and it doesn't work like that.

It really depends on how well you can balance, but I think at least banking is very doable under some circumstances. A bulge or an "EB" probably not but from personal experience at a boutique a step below an EB, all my MDs manage. Nobody misses kids recitals, games and any of that and most are out the door between 3 and 5. Still taking calls late and weekends but not on the regular. Unless there is something live that only I can manage (which is almost never), I get to fully disconnect on days off and I have never had issues taking my full vacay load every year.

Sure we pay for it with a haircut in comp, but honestly, it's really not as bad. It's not to the extent of leaving banking for industry, am still paid pretty damn well. And honestly, I wouldn't trade up, the incremental pay is just not worth the sacrifice in WLB.

TLDR: at the right firm, banking is very doable. That firm just won't be a GS/MS/EVR type.

bawstin

Hi everyone,

I have been thinking lately about what I want in life. During recruiting season I was focused on prestige and money, but realize now that there is more than that. Studying abroad in Europe helped me with that, now that I'm trying new cultures, people, and ways of life, and found a nice girl too who shares the same religious beliefs. My goal is to get married before my 30s, start having children immediately, and make at least four. Why so? My parents were in their 20s/30s when they had children, and the benefit of doing that is that they are filled with energy and still look young by the time we graduate college. I find this ideal, because I want to be able to see my grandchildren/great grandchildren later in life. I've heard that it's more of a challenge to find a wife and/or have children later in life (sorry, don't want to look like grandpa when the kids graduate HS). I want to raise my kids the same way my parents raised me. My parents worked regular 9-5 jobs, yet were still present from when I was a baby until graduating HS. There are many benefits for a child's development to have parents present in life.

Now while I read on WSO and people in real life talking about getting an MBA or private equity/other high ambitions, I find it hard to imagine balancing them with the goals I have in mind. I think for most of my 20s I can do IB and PE for a few years, but later on I will have to find something with more WLB. I'm not sure how many people want to get married and have kids around my timeline, but I want to know how practical is that. How many people doing IB/PE/MBA want to get married before 30 and have kids too?

I have to admit that since getting my IB offer/going abroad/getting a girl, I've been losing some motivation when it comes to my career. Yes, I've been practicing my technical skills here and there, and No I've not been networking with people inside my bank for group selection, but I just want to enjoy my 4 months in Europe and my girl. If you think I'm heading in the wrong direction with all of this wife and kids thing, please feel free to write something motivational and change my mind. But for now, I feel that chasing after money isn't all that there is to life. Yes, I want a 4/5 bedroom home someday, maybe 3 collectible cars, some bespoke suits, family vacations, and maybe private school for the children. If I can have such excesses, I will be pretty much satisfied with life. Not sure if that requires to be in IB/PE for the rest of my life, or if doing Corp Dev afterwards can work. What are your thoughts?

Relationships in college are a lot different than relationships mid career. It may be challenging to you to be in IB and have a serious relationship, so you will have to see how that goes. Good luck. 

I'm living this right now. Approaching four years in banking and just had our second child. So it is possible. It's also an absolute GRIND. Banking with a spouse is hard enough, but with kids it's a whole other level. I'm able to leave the office most nights to go help with bedtime and then plug in from home which is huge. The baby-toddler phase is incredibly demanding on every level, but once they get into school years I think it will be a lot more manageable. A couple things required in my mind to make this work:

1. Extremely understanding and supportive spouse. Ideally someone who is very independent (will she be staying home with the kids or working and hiring a nanny?)

2. Live close to family or others who are willing to help with the kids. I do not have this fortune, so it is possible to make it all on your own just a lot more difficult

3. Goodwill at the office - if you are not a high-level performer it would be almost impossible to be afforded the additional flexibility needed to wfh once in a while if a kid is sick or if you need to pick them up from daycare early, etc. Things pop up that can't always be solved with a nanny

If it's really what you want out of life know that it is possible. Just be ready to be incredibly tired.

Depends on how willing you are to neglect your children.

Plenty of people in high flying careers get married and have kids. I just think you’re prioritizing the wrong things. If you want kids and a family bespoke suits, collectible cars and the like need to be at the bottom of the list. Live somewhere with decent schools and send the kids to public school as even a cheap private is easily $30k x 4. That’s 120 grand, post tax probably close to 180-200k pre-tax.