I am extremely humble but I make everyone jealous

Hey monkeys, I've been feeling pretty down on myself because I am so popular and rich that it makes me the envy of all the people I meet. Even yesterday, my neighbors dog tried to hump me. I had no clue why, since I am so humble!?!1! It wasn't until later that I noticed I had a few spare hundred dollar bills falling out of my gucci deal sleds, i hadn't even noticed they were missing LOL!

Anyway, could you please give me a little more validation? I feel like a victim because of my (soon to be) Ultra High Net Worth.

Let's be honest, I didn't even want to return to my piece of shit hometown in a flyover state (Aspen, CO), but due to completely avoidable reasons I'm back and the people I purposefully left behind aren't treating me how I want. Yesterday, one had the audacity to bring up in casual conversation the question of how much I made per year just because I walked in a shitty dive bar wearing the same bespoke tuxedo Twista had on in the Sauce! I wasn't even wearing my Patek Philippe that night, it was just a Cosmograph Daytona! How could they be so insecure!?

You must have the same problem, as all of us here are superior humans to the pedestrians. How do you go about controlling their actions when asserting humble authority by flaunting money & lifestyle superiority doesn't suffice?

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