Im fucked
My mental health is completely fucked. I’m 1% of the man I was a year ago. I spend so much time trying to get shit right, and I feel like I keep fucking up. I feel like I can’t do anything right. My physical health is deteriorating significantly (expectedly). I don’t sleep. My stress is bleeding into my family life. I’m so grateful for this job and I’m not quitting, but man, sometimes this blows. The pressure and stress eats me alive every fucking day, to the point where I’ve been drinking at night to cope. Apologies for the rant but fuck me running off very minimal sleep has delayed my work output significantly. The fatigue just carries over every day and makes me a zombie. Man is this harder than I thought it would be. Maybe I’m just really stupid too. Who knows.
You're not alone man, IB is ass. think about taking some PTO and unplugging
If you’re drinking to cope, it’s time for a rethink. That’s the cliff at the end of the slippery slope.
You should speak to your GP. A combination of uppers (e.g. modafinal) to keep you focused and awake during the day and or the occasional sleeping pill (ideally something that won't promote dependency) probably wouldn't be worse than drinking yourself to sleep. That should probably help get you through this rougher period and reduce your stress as a function of better sleep and performance. Obviously long term you'll get better at the role and or seek to have a better balance, etc.
Are u fried or faded
Leave IB dude! Would you rather become a lifelong alcoholic or ‘only’ make $150k working in corp fin at your next gig?
Try some therapy, benzos, working out and prioritize sleep.
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