MD won't let me join calls unless I looksmaxx

Throughout high school and college I was always the 'ugly' kid. Although I don't think I'm THAT bad (maybe 4.5/10), I could never get girls. One time one of the cheerleaders at my school (7.5/10) asked me out as a joke and laughed at me when I said yes. I decided to go into IBD because I wanted to make up for my looks with wealth and status.

Anyways, I started my analyst stint a few months ago at a top BB (GS/JPM/MS/Citi) but for some reason I wasn't being put on any client meetings even though all my peers were. After discussing with a mentor, I decided to raise this issue with my MD. The VP next to him gave him a weird look, and the MD pulled me into his office and told me that he can't put me in front of clients unless I start looksmaxxing (I had no idea what this even was). I asked what he was talking about and he said that I'm simply too unattractive to put in front of clients and I need to starting mewing and jelqing for at least 6 months before they can consider letting me join. What the hell even is jelqing?

Has anyone else had this experience? It feels kind of toxic and I'm not sure if I should try to lateral to other banks or if I should take his advice and starting mewing at the desk while modelling. How will this affect my bonus?